Eventually he turned to look at her. His glance was warm and his voice had a calm seriousness.
"Go Luki. Do what you have to do. There comes a time when your heart tells you what to do and then you must do it."
"You understand that?"
He nodded slowly and spoke gently.
"Yes Luki, I do."
She seemed to immediately brighten up and impulsively held her fist towards him. With a laugh he touched his fist on hers.
At the bus stop she climbed out. Then with a toss of her head she walked away without looking back.
On a sunny Monday morning, several weeks later, before the 9:15 bus had left the suburbs, something alarmed Alexis and he had to slam the brakes fiercely.
A woman carrying several placards had suddenly stepped in front of the bus. She did not seem to care about the risk she took. In fact, she had a kind of ethereal air.
She was dressed rather flamboyantly in red and gold and wore a flat top black Spanish hat.
Her face and arms had been tanned to a golden brown.
Alexis stared at the first placard through the windscreen and a smile crept over his face.
It read "I went to stay in a topical village and I swam with dolphins."
Then he read other placards that she presented one by one.
"I did scuba diving and swam under a manta ray."
"I took Spanish dancing classes for a month."
When he saw the last one, he burst out laughing and rose to his feet.
It read "Get out of the bus and bring your guitar, Alexis."
He turn around and spoke to the passengers.
"I'm sorry folks. Luki's back. I think that she's had too much sun. She wants us to have some fun."
As he climbed out of the bus he walked towards her with the obvious intention of giving a welcoming embrace. She, however stepped back and looked at him challengingly.
"What's all this Luki? Have you gone all Spanish?"
She looked at him with fire smouldering in her eyes.
"Stop talking. Play the Lady Alba song. The last part. Play it now."
"What? Are you sure?"
"Play it Alexis."
"OK Luki. Give me a moment."
When he began to play, she began to dance. She had castenets in each hand. Sometimes her one hand was behind her back and the other held high. She snapped her head sharply to one side or the other but when she looked down, she played with the most emotion.
The bus crowd had immediately joined in the mood of the moment and had begun to sing the by now well known chorus.
"Lady of mystery
How dark is your history?
Dressed in black
From head to toe
But ah in your eyes
In your dark eyes
There is a light
We see fireflies."
Then he continued with the main song.
.
"But on that wonderful first Monday
When the harvest should begin
Lady Alba appears on the main street
Dressed in red and gold
On the arms of old Fernandes
She pushes back her Spanish hat
And holds castanets in each hand
As she sways from side to side
The clackety clack behind her
And then as she turns around
She plays them held high
She strides, she turns and stamps her feet
As always in the past
Lady Alba owns the town."
This was the moment when Luki took over. She stamped her feet and raised her hand up high and began to sing in a rather beautiful voice.
"Alexis, you my beloved
You drove my bus
You taught me about a second box
But you taught me how to love
Oh how you taught me
You made me a woman
And so I dance for you
For you my beloved.'
The passengrs seemed to knew their roles. They formed a giant circle.
And there in the middle Luki danced in the dust. Oh how she danced
With her feet, her hands. And her hair flowing wild.
And her eyes...her burning dark eyes.
And when the dance was over
She stood and looked at Alexis who for a moment was too stunned to move.
And old lady walked up to him and tapped on his chest with her heavy cane and then pointed to a place down the road.
"Do you see that church?"
"Yes Mrs. Solomon. I see that church. What about it?"
"Well that's where you'll get married."
He couldn't help laughing. Perhaps the tension in the air had become too much.
I understand Mrs. Solomon...but why that church?"
"Alexis, my son. Don't you see? It's on the bus route. We'll all come. We'll be dressed up. We'll bring flowers. You park the bus, you get married and then we'll all climb back
into the bus and go on our merry way singing songs. Will that be a wedding or not?"
"Yes, Mrs Solomon, that would be a wedding. Yes indeed."
Then Alexis turned away from the old lady and walked up to Luki. Without a word he reached out and embraced her. He held her for what seemed to be an age.
Eventually all the passengers crowded around them, clapped hands, swayed from side to side and sang with a new found excitement..


Comments: 29
God bless you, my dear, talented friend - S.
My stories are all about faith and hope. I'm glad that the story meant something to you. I think that as one allows hope and faith to enter ones' heart, the chances of real success in ones' life becomes more and more realisable.
I hope and pray that I open doors to good fortune.
Youare the incurable romantic. I'm glad that you loved the ending and didn't demand trumpets blowing and a thousand violins playing.
I'm overjoyed that you feel so strongly about the part that the mucic played. The story was based around a song...a song that I'm sure will become their song.
You can do that...you have done that...you will do that...of course Amar. I know that. I can see that.
I'm looking forward to the first chapters of your book. Go well dear friend.
Hi jean I'm glad that you came to visit and thanks for the smile. Please feel very welcome here.
congrats for one more shining piece...
Sometimes I watch Spanish language TV just for a break from all the manure. This type of story would fit in well with some of their soap operas and would be taken seriously as being romantic by this culture base. However, if such a scene were on American TV, it would be thought of as surreal, a dream episode, or a humorous spoof. I hope this is the critique you wanted.
You touch on something very interesting. I am really a srceenplay writer and maybe that comes out in my stories. As such I go for vivdness and cinematographic effect.
However, I do like to build up my characters and I pay attention to behaviour patterns and dialogue. But above all I love my characters. I believe that I know them and drink coffee with them.
Thank you for your praise and that dancing girl. I'll treasure it always. Above all I value that you came to visit. Fred
Yes it's the kind of criticism that I wanted. Errors on spelling and in style. Yes please. Your comments on the genre were most interesting and fruitful. I'll use them to make this comments column as interesting as comments columns should be. Thanks for the opportunity.
The two typos were edited out. Thx.
Soapies??? To keep in touch, I watch Bold and Beautiful regularly. I can
now say this...I've never seen a genuine emotion nor a heartwarming scene in any one of the episodes. I know that I won't be able to satisfy US audiences...not while what they send out here is such 90 % pure drivel.
I'm a romantic pro-feminist re-teller of tales that I've actually seen...perhaps only in part...but seen to a significant extent. I've sworn to be uplifting, compassionate and joyful. That's my writing mission before God. Paul Coelho wrotte in roughly the same vein and sold over tens of millions of books.
I write about what I've really seen or seen enough to know the rest. When Andre, the ral bus driver walks down the aisle he leaves behind a state of wonder. You know that nothing can go wrong that day. It's more than gushy sentimentality.
I write about what I've actually seen. God has, in his wisdom, steered me to the most outlandish and most wondrous places.
I saw those two bus drivers. I've benn in a changeroom for Spanish dancers and Ive seeen their eyes and sensed their passion for dancing. PS...I've seen my grandmother dancing and I've seen a tree chopped down leaving me face to face with an elephant.
But thank you for your opions Bill. I value them deeply. I must always keep my rudder straight. Your great friend Fred
Seee my atriclr on MYCHEC reviews.
Dear Daniela
I loved that story as sung by Caetano Veloso. It's absolutely beautifully and a wake up to many couples.
.Hey Daniela, I grabbed that hat and I'll treasure it with my heart. I'll look at it as I write my future stories. Thank you All of you for a thrilling set of comments.
What a special day this was....lara lara lareiro. Hai hai.
I'm not dissing what Daniela said. She made some valid points. I was just looking at the whole of the literary picture. Monty Python actually has a short film on this subject under a title of something to do with visual comedy.
The British and Irish tend to be excellent writers because they have the protocols drilled into them from birth, I believe.
Here goes: I find the story quite charming. I think it has reached it's logical end. Since we started from your re-counting some similar experiences, I was glad to see them incorporated in the story. Another thing I looked out for was the metamorphosis in Luki. Alexis helped her to see inside herself and then come back to him. Maybe more complete, maybe with something in her 'second box?'
Typos are there but some spell check and help with WORD will smoothen out those issues. I suggest you ALWAYS work with with WORD. I know, once we start writing, ideas tumble out in torrents, fingers fly on the keyboard, leaving little time or attention for spellings or punctuation. If you are asking people to critique your work , you need to do some checks yourself before you expose yourself to them.
Your stories are wonderful, Fred. They have such a realistic flavor to them.
Keep writing and best of luck!
I'm very interseted in what you're trying to tell me.
Kindly tell me a little more about what you mean by protocols. I think that you have somwthing very important to tell me but it's not quite clear yet. Sorry.
Kindly elaborate. Fred
Four comments from you in one day. Wow!!! Thank you. I hope that you slept well after reading part 4. Fred
It's always a pleasure to hear from you.
I'm glad that you found the story realistic. I wuldn't want to write stories that are kind of too far fetched. I want then to be inspirational in today's real world.
Typo's? Oh hell. I have no excuses. I do use Word. Always...so what can I say? Only this. I'm strapped in a corset and can lie on my back or walk. I can only sit at my laptop for 8 minutes at a time.
OK that's no excuse. As a would-be professional, I should be more careful. Thanks.
Your praise is appreciated.
All of you who commented. You made this thread so alive and interesting. I felt your personal involvement and that has thrilled me to my core.
I value each word that you all wrote. Thank you thank you. I love you all.
Not to worry! It does not take away the substance. And I have read your previous stories. They had no such nits. So stop saying its an excuse--cos it's the truth! A person with a common cold feels so out of sorts and here you are recovering from a back operation!
Once you are fit and fine, all this will be okay.
God Bless you. Get better soon.
Ah Bill. Thank you for clearing that up. I have a strong desire to use the English language in the best possible way. l may be creative but don't want to be so in the language field.