whose job is it anyway ?

It has rarely happened to me that i did not manage to wake up on time

to get the kids to school but this morning , a damp and cold summer morning

anything seemed possible.

Lets not forget this is the last week we have school here..

I got up and ran to get the boys up, the youngest was the focus point as the others 

just get up without much fuss.

"I can't, i am going to be so late" he moans and hangs on to his blanket.

The dog and i are busy pulling the blanket away from him, the dog is barking wildly,

yet he buries himself deeper into the soft layers of blanket,

i don't blame him, but i am very tired having only slept  about three hours when at 4 a.m. 

sleep finally won the battle of insomnia..i feel he is getting the upper hand and so i

use whatever verbal persuasion i can master ..

"Don't be lazy" i say and later feel guilt, 

ever since i had visited a woman whose 4 year old child kept seeking her attention by kicking

in the air and she called him "idiot" and then after he kept coming and bothering her as we

sat and talked, she finally spanked him on his bottom , i have been traumatized by the scene

and thought to myself that i better watch what i say to my kids, i could see how much it had hurt

the child . It is always easier for someone from the outside to see those things..

We parents get tired and overloaded still with a few badly chosen words we can harm a child's self esteem.

I remember one of my better teachers in high school telling the class we were behaving like kindergarden kids and putting us down collectively every time someone did something stupid    ..i never realized it was not really a pep talk but abusive and  degrading.

I told the kids they were acting lazy, careful to add the word "acting"

I am not the one going to school! i insisted though i know i am in a way..

Sometimes i wish i could just let the kids take responsiblity more, trust more,

when i was seven like my small son i got up by myself and certainly dressed by myself having

chosen the clothes the night before like i was taught..but then again my mother went out to work and did not have time to fuss over me.

Lately i am coming to realize that the children don't really listen to me and have gotten a

"give me" attitude.

This morning's ordeal ended by me writing a note to the teacher on the way to school

"I apologize for being late, we all overslept"

I think about the article i saw the other day in the local paper , the school district wants 

to send parents of violent children to a course on how to behave with them at home,

making them responsible for how the children behave at school.

While i agree that some violent children definitely must have learned it at home , i still think 

that parents have enough to do these days, and children should be held responsible for their behavior,

children need to learn that there are consequences for their actions,

whether it is being late to school or hitting another child at school,

since i am not at school, i would expect the school to punish the child and not the parents!

I feel that my son's teacher sending  me notes about his being late is not helpful

i even wrote him a note 

"Sorry, i am doing my best at home , 

if he is late for school, punish him at school" 

So they gave him a punishment to write some sentences and stay in on a break rather than go out and play.

When i was in primary school if you were late you had to stand in the corner or stand outside till the bell rang.

I think this whole philosophy of making the parents responsible for their kids at school 

does damage to the kids at the end because i think if a child is mature enough to go to school 

then he or she should be mature enough to accept some basic school rules:

the school should clarify these rules at the beginning and enforce them

if a child is constantly late and the teacher thinks it may be due to a problem at home that is one matter however if a child is late because he or she gives the parents the responsiblity of waking up on time, dressing , preparing for school, i think the only cure is the school being more tough with the kids.

It used to be that schools were tough, kids would be afraid of the teachers and would respect them.

I am not talking about beating kids however i am for being strict with them.

I know i ought to be more strict at home however i do think that when kids do go to school

they need to accept the rules of the school and the only way to acheive that is by having the school deal with the child,

unless there is an extreme behavioral problem and the child has problems with accepting limits and rules, it should be possible for the school to handle the child.

My son accepts limits from school and respects his teacher however i think the teacher chooses to send me letters instead of dealing with the problem and i don't think that is the answer.

It seems to me that while educators these days are more aware of how they talk to the pupils and try to avoid abusive words , some teachers are afraid to confront pupils or else they feel they need to punish the parents and give them responsibilty.

I keep hearing about how parents don't do enough.

The generation of my parents was too busy working and providing, what concerned school was dealt with in school and not shoved to the parents.

Parents are responsible for their children and their behavior however once they are in school,

if children break the rules , they should face the consequences.

What do you think?