She sat alone sunk down deep in the couch, surrounded by throw pillows. She fell asleep on the couch last night, watching DVDs into the late hours of the night. There she sat this morning rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The drapes are drawn making the room cloaked in darkness with the exception of a small beam of light escaping through a small space where they did not meet. The sounds of the day beginning just beyond her of a leaf blower, as the neighbors begin their day. The light bothered her and it beckoned her, but just enough to get up and pull the drapes closed. The darkness called to her more this morning. She did not want to be reminded of those with a life, that had love, and a normal family.
She makes her way back to the couch noticing the coffee table littered with her junk food frenzy last night. She lays her head back down, pulls her little dog close to her. She wonders that maybe she should get up to shower, and start her day, but that thought is so unappealing. Thoughts swarm her mind swirling around like a misty trail, which lead her on a journey she has traveled many times. A trail of failed relationships, loves that got away and a life alone, so alone.
She remembers a man, a lost love, and how he made her feel so alive. Just his presence brought warmth and light, as he was surrounded by it. The trips that they took together flashed through her mind and transported her to another time. The trip to the mountains on a crisp fall day, where the leaves crunched underfoot. They hiked in the woods admiring nature and each other, holding hands and stolen kisses. Then the sudden sharp pain floods her as she remembers that he was taken from her, and furthers her despair and isolation. She burrows deeper into her pillow, pulls the little dog closer and a tear escapes. Just one, because she does not have the energy for more.
The sounds outside of kids playing and laughing remind her that the day is going on without her. She wants to turn the sounds off, because no one has stopped with her. No one feels her sorrow, just as there is no one to love. The phone rings, and rings, and she knows the answering machine will pick it up. It beeps, as it answers the call for her.
"Hey Sara. This is Ryan. We met at Teresa's party last week. Well, I just got in from a business trip last night, and finally freed up my schedule. I was wondering if you would like to grab some lunch today at the Marina, but..." she runs to pick up the phone.
"Hi Ryan. Sorry, I just got out of the shower," she smiles. "How was your trip?"
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Comments: 14
At the end of the day, there is always hope
Apparently I've got it all wrong.
You have this right. This is a character exploration of a woman that is defined by relationships, and has lost so much. She is like us though, because she despartely wants to be loved. She spent the night depressed over her lost relationships and yet there is hope. Who knows...Ryan may be the one.
You know each of us goes through this scenario, some with a partner-whilst others without. We experience this everydsy, if you really think deep about it. It is what makes us human. It bites into our very existence. It helps us to find out whom we really are. Depression can either take you deeper into abyss, or take to to a dimension in life, that is absolutely beatifully astounding/mindboggling.
The secret is to let go-catch the moment(s), and delve right in-the journey starts there. Happiness and love is there right in front of our eyes-most of us just csnt see it. I have learned to see it myself.
I hope that you, and others can get to that point also.
I probably should have published this paragraph. Oh well.
This is a touching look at the dispair that we all feel at one time or another. The sad thing is some people get stuck there, and never answer the phone when it does ring. Hope is the only thing that no one can take from you, I am very move by this peice