A couple of months ago, my husband was told never to come back on our church's property due to driving a bit erractically. He was never asked WHY he was driving erractically. He was never asked if he needed help or needed to talk to somebody. He was just approached the next week and told never to come back.
IF anyone had bothered to ask why he was behaving the way he was, they would have found a wealth of information. They would have found out that he had just lost a job he had gotten hired at only a month previous. They would have found out that he was deeply depressed and having suicidal thoughts. They would have found out that he was having an anxiety attack and had not slept in three days. They would have found out that he feels extreme guilt because he has always felt a call to the ministry and has been running from God.
But nobody bothered to ask...not until I wrote them a letter explaining all of these things. And even then, there has been no apology for the way the matter was handled. There has been an offer for us to come in and talk to the counselor so he can "clear" my husband to come back to church. So far I have not returned their call. Something about that just doesn't set quite right with me.
I do understand the matter had to be addressed for safety reasons. But where was the care and the compassion? And why should my husband have to be "cleared" for admittance when there are probably lots of people sitting in the congregation who have done just as bad or worse than he did. Why must he have to go to church and feel like everyone is looking at him, judging him, waiting for him to "flip out" or something?
I am so heartbroken over this incident. I truly love this church...even after all of this. It has fed my spirit and given me so many opportunities to make a difference in the world. I am more than shocked by their reaction to this incident. It is not something I would have imagined in a million years. It is the least judgmental church I have ever been in....(or so I thought) And the people in the church that I associate with through Life Groups and other activities are as shocked as I am.
My husband misses going to church there. A part of him wants to get the situation settled so we can go back. But another part of him is so embarrassed by it all that he has no desire to go back. And he is even more depressed now than he ever was, because he feels rejected by the church...something he never thought would happen.
As it now stands, the church counseling office is waiting for us to call them back to set up an appointment to come in and have our talk so that my husband can be "cleared." I truly don't know what to do...and neither does my husband. This is a huge decision for us...because we have come to love this church so much. But something about having to go in and talk in order to get "clearance" just doesn't feel right to me. Do you think I'm overacting to their request? Am I being stubborn and unforgiving or do you believe my reaction is understandable?