Bitch 3x Diaries, or Credit

Bitch 3X Diaries

by Marci Baun © 2000

When you have credit, everyone wants to give it to you. When you need it, well, that's an entirely different story.

My credit has always been grade A. I am very scrupulous about paying my bills on time. For me, it's a matter of pride as well as being intelligent. Without good credit, you're screwed. I mean, if you are ever in an emergency situation without cash, your credit card is all you have between you and the brink of disaster. And, if you are like me, that credit card comes in handy quite often.

Fortunately, I am one of those people who go over their bills with a fine tooth comb. Last month I found a charge on my bill that I know I did not make. It was for an insignificant amount of money, but that's not the point. First, I will not pay for something I did not buy. Second, if someone has somehow managed to pilfer my credit card number, the credit card company has to know so they won't charge me. Third, ignoring the fact that someone else has our credit card number without your permission is financial suicide.

So, dutifully I picked up the phone and called to report this crime. After ten minutes of listening to the stupid automated voice on the other end, I wound up in the wrong directory with no way out. A bit irritated, but still determined, I dialed again. After several minutes of searching, I managed to find the correct directory which said in a pleasant, okay grating, monotone, "You may dial '0' at any time during this recorded message to speak with a customer representative." I promptly dialed zero.

The interminable wait began with a different, recorded voice (as if that would make me feel any better), asking me to be patient as all the representatives are "currently busy due to a backlog of calls. You will be helped in the order your call was received." Lovely, dentist office music played in the background to sooth the savage beast. Of course, all it succeeded in doing was to irritate me because every 5 seconds, or so it seemed, that lovely automated voice returned to repeat its message of "please be patient."

My patience was running thin. As I will not make calls that deal with any kind of financial information on my mobil phone, I was trapped at my bedside with nothing to do. Yes, you would think I would be prepared, but I really didn't think there would be a large number of calls at nine o'clock in the evening. My fault, I know.

When the representative finally came on the line, I quickly informed her of the problem. I refuse to abuse these people who usually do their best to remedy the situation. Besides, I have discovered that if I am nice, they are more apt to help me.

Her first question was to ascertain that I had not made the charge.

"Were you in Toronto on such-and-such date?" she asked politely.

"No, I live in California and have never been to Toronto. If I was anywhere but Los Angeles, it would have been in another California city."

"And you haven't ordered anything over the phone from a telemarketer in the last month?"

"No."

"You say there was a small charge last month from the same company?"

"Yes," I replied. "Seventy-eight cents. I know it sounds insignificant, but it's the principle."

"Of course." There was a brief pause. "You will have to talk to our credit department. If you'll wait just a second, I will transfer you."

This wait was very brief and the person was quite polite. She informed me that in all likelihood, someone had managed to steal my credit card number. It would be necessary for them to close the account and to issue me a new one.

"How long before my new card arrives?" I asked. I had just begun an extension course at a local university and needed to purchase some books as soon as possible.

"Seven to ten working days."

That was just a little too long for my tastes, as I needed the books... yesterday.

"Okay, thanks." I hung up.

Now, I must admit that I was getting a little desperate. I had a homework assignment that included some reading due in five days. As I have a second job now, I don't have much time to shop.

It was then that I remembered my other card. The one I had cancelled over two years ago but the company insisted on sending me mail and new cards. The cards always got cut up, but the checks with my account number on them were filed with the rest of the info on that "closed" account. Here comes the problem. Since I no longer had the card, I could not find the expiration date, and therefore, the account was no good to me.

Once again, I got on my trusty phone and dialed yet another credit card company. There, the run around started all over. It took a good twenty minutes at nearly 10 p.m. before I got to speak to someone. They could not help me but could refer me to the credit department who would call me in about 15 minutes. Because I hadn't used the card in over two years, they wanted to make sure I was no longer a credit risk. This after they had been sending me junk mail the whole time.

Fifteen minutes passed and no call.

During my hour wait, I searched through my file cabinet to see if I had perhaps spared one of the most recently issued card. I was in luck. There, tucked in with all those cash advance checks I will never use, was a set of cards, one master card and one visa, they had sent me sometime last year. But, as I had never called in to activate them, I assumed they were no longer good. On the off-chance, I called the activation number, hoping against hope. Alas, the computers were down because they were updating their system.

Finally, I tried the regular number if only to speak to a representative about this problem. I asked him about the credit department. He had no clue. With the computers down, he couldn't check on my account. However, he informed me that the cards really didn't need to be activated. After six weeks, if nothing happens, the cards automatically change to active status.

This was news to me. Naive person that I am, I assumed that they were telling the truth about the cards becoming invalid if not activated in so many days. Not so. So, be forewarned, everyone. If you receive a card in the mail that says invalid if not activated by a certain date, don't just throw it away. Cut it up into tiny pieces instead. That way no one else can use it.

Between the card I use all the time and these other two, I tallied up my available credit and realized that if I was stupid enough, I could use them to buy a Pontiac GrandAm. The thought was staggering. What did I need with that much credit?!!!

So, after all the trouble I went through with the second company, it turned out that all I had to do was use one of those two cards that I hadn't wanted in the first place. I wasted too many hours and stressed myself out for no apparent reason.

And, the truth was forced on me that even when you have good credit, it doesn't matter. It's if you want the credit, that you can't get it. If you don't, well, they'll bend over backwards to see that you do.

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This article was first published in 2000 by Wild Child Publishing's magazine division, which closed this past June. Now, Wild Child Publishing offers both electronic and print books. Watch for our newest print releases Fade To Pale and Iron Horse Rider available for pre-sale now, shipping July 10th.

Marci Baun is the editor-in-chief of Wild Child Publishing and Freya's Bower, a subsidiary company of WCP.