Wedding Anniversary: Bedrock of American Culture

America, the land of the free, home of the brave and someone's wedding anniversary. As a child, I learned all you needed to know about wedding anniversaries from TV programs. It seemed years of training were needed to master this skill, but I'm getting ahead of myself in relating why the wedding anniversary is a bedrock of American culture. It all started with an episode of 'Leave It To Beaver' in 1958 where Ward tells Fred, "I forgot our anniversary and June is furious.' Any fan of this show knows Fred is a low watt lightbulb, but in this episode he shines as he instructs Ward in the finer points of this ritual.

Fred of course is much older than Ward, so he has much more skill at being forgetful. Before this episode, Fred was depicted as a pain in the you know where. Audiences across American soon realized that behind Fred's mannerisms was a man of great wisdom.  This one episode changed the cultural landscape of America as most married men soon realized the importance of forgetting their wedding anniversary. It created another reason for men to get together, pound beers and tell their sad story without losing their macho image. It was about this time that the term 'male bonding' increased the number of bowling leagues. Yes, it was a great moment for all husbands, but strangely enough, no one remembers the date of this 'Leave It To Beaver' TV episode.

This wasn't just a male thing. It also had great benefits for the wife. A wife could now rightly or wrongly feign anger for a husband forgetting their wedding anniversay. She did not have to remember. The whole onus was solely on the husband. Many well meaning husbands who did remember were greeted with stone cold silence and slept on the couch. It became a sign of stupidity for a husband to remember, yet many did remember and this led to the invention of the sleeper sofa. The greatest benefit to the wife was the day after 'expensive' I'm sorry present.

Just one final note as a warning to all husbands. Although it is of great importance for any husband to forget the date of their wedding anniversary, a husband needs to realize the wife will use this date on things like home security alarm systems and anything else that requires a six digit code. I know many of you 'married' men have trained yourself from childhood to forget this date, but it can only be forgotten once a year. Write down this date on a piece of paper and put it in your wallet, or tattoo it on a readily accessible part of your body, for emergencies. If not, just remember that Hell has no fury like an angry wife. Any man with such wisdom has no need of a sleeper sofa. By their furniture shall ye know them.