by Laura Cushing
Member since:
August 4, 2006

A Trick of the Light

June 27, 2007 01:38 AM EDT (Updated: June 27, 2007 02:20 AM EDT)
views: 77 | rating: 9.5/10 (22 votes) | comments: 26
"Make love to me," she said
and by that, she meant Make me
feel less like I am dying.

The sun through the curtains
colored the room
blue and white and yellow.

Her fallen hair
shone like fool's gold
on her cheeks,
in the sink,
on his shoes.

He looked away.
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Comments: 26

Machiavelli Dayupay Jun 27, 2007, 1:49am EDT
Wow... very lovely...
Mary (diet dr pepper junkie) T. Jun 27, 2007, 3:32am EDT
How sad...
Kathryn E. Jun 27, 2007, 3:43am EDT
very good, Laura.

This poem is now in the articles section of Writing Essentials.
Ellynn (minor shoe minion) A. Jun 27, 2007, 4:00am EDT
This is good, strong emotion is just a few words is hard, but it carries well here.
Bent Lorentzen Jun 27, 2007, 4:55am EDT
Very insightful
Andrea B. Jun 27, 2007, 5:24am EDT
that's beautiful.. so sad.
amarpreet k. Jun 27, 2007, 5:51am EDT
Laura ..thats sad ..very well written ..you conveyed the pain of being alone inspite of being with su=omeone when you log of reassurance of being loved and need just some warmth and a caring hug ...and then he break it all ...as he looks away ..

beautiful
Lisa J Jun 27, 2007, 8:16am EDT
It's absoutely beautiful.
Virginia M. Jun 27, 2007, 9:17am EDT
Intense! Beautifully written! Sad..
Kimberly Ripley Jun 27, 2007, 10:25am EDT
This reminds me of an old made for TV movie called Sunshine...from back in the early 1970's. Beautiful!
Jim Ross Jun 27, 2007, 11:55am EDT
I love where you went with this poem, Laura, but I would reverse the first and second stanzas and let the ambience be the reason for her request, that is denied.
Angie O. Jun 27, 2007, 1:19pm EDT
Wonderful Laura, packs a lot of powre and emotion.
Μόףףý ● ķ ~ Jun 27, 2007, 1:22pm EDT
Oh my God! I have never seen a list of groups that long! I didn't even realize that there were that many groups in all of Gather! Wow!
Karolyn Q. Jun 27, 2007, 2:25pm EDT
Very good. Both beautiful and sad.
Jennifer M. Jun 27, 2007, 4:07pm EDT
That was absolutely beautiful!
Sheila Deeth Jun 27, 2007, 4:22pm EDT
Wow. Very still. Loved it.
Tina Coruth Jun 27, 2007, 4:59pm EDT
Very sad, nicely done.
Larry H. Jun 27, 2007, 8:13pm EDT
thanks for sharing.
Michael Hawkins Jun 27, 2007, 9:05pm EDT
Such is life.
David Rochester Jun 30, 2007, 2:06pm EDT
I particularly liked the "fool's gold" detail. This made me think of my cousin who died of cancer a couple of years ago, and her dreadful husband who was sleeping with her hospice nurse while said nurse was giving her palliative care during her last days. It's amazing how some people fail in a crisis, isn't it?
Laura Cushing Jun 30, 2007, 4:22pm EDT
Wow.. that's truly awful, David. What a terrible thing for the husband to do.
Sandra T. Jul 7, 2007, 10:44pm EDT
The poem really touched me. The images are very vivid. Great job!
Vicki Shaffer Jul 29, 2007, 3:37pm EDT
Laura,
This is definaty very good and I like it.

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