I am not a soccer mami

"You certainly are not yourself today"

"I so seldom am, "said Cecelia

              Elizabeth Bowen

The other mamis carried large plastic picnic carriers full of goodies.

I just drooled at the sight of perfectly wrapped hamburger buns with homemade

 schnitzels.

"Mom got up to make those at night" said the young boy sitting next to me adding to my 

guilt.

It was a miracle we were there at all..i did not have socks or clothing ready

and my husband in separation said to be ready at 8.30 ,on a sunday!

I have been making pancakes on sunday for as long as i can remember however at

one point i finally reached the conclusion, most of them end up in the garbage

no use in trying to do apple ,banana, blueberry, wholewheat, with maple syrup ,

these were not appreciated at all..

so i made omlettes and stuffed them into sandwhiches, the kids were not eating today,

not even that sweet wheat puff cereal  ..

I packed the dog food and threw in some peaches into my half torn beach bag in the colors

of sunset, getting busy searching for socks and shoes, and trying to hide my fatigue 

with some makeup.

I got a small empty bottle of apple juice and filled it with water, my husband in separation 

promised to take care of the drinks.

It turned out to be a very hot day, the other mothers had bottles of a liter and a half, and

professional plastic drinking bottles in bright colors of the rainbow.

My husband in separation was also the trainer, he was the only one who knew who was

against whom and where, but as always his long leggs carried him quickly away and 

i was often lost.

I never attend any soccer competitions, preferring like Emily Dickinson to spend my Sunday

indoors however this was an exception, it was the Soccer championship of the Jewish communities in Switzerland.

The children formed groups and my daughter had the same group as last year made up of

mostly girls and her bothers and some boys that did not attend the Jewish school but came

in order to do something Jewish.

The groups were adults, youth, teenagers , older children and the younger children.

All my three children had played in the "Piccolo" group, the youngest, from age 6 to 11.

Last year i did not attend the event since things were still not so settled however lately 

my husband in separation and i have been cooperating. 

I think we both grew tired of the yelling sessions and perhaps have finally grown up,

could be also my husband in separation's great passion for soccer put him in a really good mood.

Anyway i suggested coffee to the trainer, my husband in separation, and he was way ahead of me

glad to be away from those picnics..

There was a family stand of a local Jewish restaurant selling grilled meat and watermelon and drinks.

We went for some coffee and that went well , no fighting there.

I was relaxing into a chat with the mothers, just give me a topic and i can go on and on ..when 

i heard the trainer yelling :

"You are sleepy, wake up !" 

very loudly.

Like those famous words from Madeline "Miss Clavel turned on her light and afraid of a disaster, miss Clavel ran fast and faster"

I went to the trainer a.k.a my husband in separation and asked him 

"why are you yelling at the kids?"

This was only the first game..

"I don't need you  too now  !" he shouted back 

"That kid's parents are both lawyers and are very protective,so i would be careful if i were you"

i said and walked away.

Apparently i was in the minority.

Later proceeded a scene many mothers know well, screaming and shouting

which i found barbaric and frankly added too much pressure to the kids playing.

The kids had to play against other teams and had been busy since 10.00 with small breaks

well into the afternoon.

I tried to find some humor in the soccer games:

The referee in one game ran around the field carrying a very attached toddler,

my dog barked at the competition, sometimes scaring them away from scoring ...

Finally an elderly Judge said to the parents and the trainer who had been standing on the side

yelling to the kids ,

"Stop yelling to the kids! you are putting too much pressure on them !"

I wanted to applaud.

I tried disappearing inside a book, but to no avail.

If an alien from outerspace had landed on earth he would have felt like me..

I kept going to the other side of the field refilling the tiny bottles we had since the kids were 

growing very thirsty , i pulled out my camera and took some photos every time one of the 

soccer mamis had given the kids the command to pose.

At last our team , "The wild ones" made it to the final!

The tension was high, i began to join the gang and called out my kids' names ,

my smallest son kicked the ball well and managed to score, as did my other children,

The score was 5 to 1 i think, then it was over! we won!

The soccer mamis hugged my husband in separation-trainer, i stood by and smiled

a small self contained smile

I took photos of my kids as they got their medals from the head of the Jewish community 

and a photo of the team with the large golden cup

Suddenly i started singing a soccer song, what happend to me?!

I shook hands with the trainer-my husband in separation and our ways parted once more.

I survived the soccer tournament.

Next year there will be another...

I think i am going to leave the paperback   at home and perhaps prepare a better picnic this time.

My kids went to school wearing  their medals.

"Dont lose them!" i said, thinking that perhaps cometitions are not so bad, 

well, when you win.

But i am not a soccer mami...

Personal Conclusions :

1) if someone yells at you, remain silent, they will stop eventually once they realize everyone

is staring..

2) If you don't fit in, you don't fit in ..

3) To each his own

4) Some people love soccer