Well, I'm sure you know what this is about now.
I'm leaving. No one one in my Neighborhood loves me.
But I don't need any of you. I have my own private Idaho here in Massachusetts and that's where I think he thought we should all be you.
So I am she said. And I will.
So while all 500 of you double the number if you include your children and then triple the number of you include all the references on Google and then quadruple the number if you include all known Mongolian touch typists and quintuple the number to include friends of potato head - or FOP.
This is where I end her saying those things I think I thought should be saying to it now.
Yes.
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Comments: 16
10 points, though!
...in the head.
Lose the italics. From a visual standpoint, they draw the eye of the reader who then loses the effect of being drawn into the story.
You need to remember the cardinal rule in writing: show, don't tell. The very first line of this piece breaks that rule.
Well, therein lies yet another problem with this piece: believability.
If you state that you are going to leave, then you must vacate the space you fill. Instead you are here commenting.
I hope that my comments in no way offend you. I received this advice from a well know author who believes we should put our asses in chairs and just write. I'm just passing along what I learned. I hope you will stick around so I can get to know you. ;-)