Lemon Basket 423

THE LEMON BASKET: THE BEST & WORST OF THE WEB
#423 JUNE 15TH, 2007
Copyright 2007 FRANCIS DIMENNO
http://www.dimenno.gather.com
dimenno@gmail.com

HUMILIATION

Some words are best not spoken
Some things are best not said
But since this is your public execution
I think I'm just gonna go right on ahead
--Mouse

"I just don't think all those people walkin' around
all rared back and writin' and raisin' up hell about
this, that, and the other, to me, they just don't mean
nothin'. I just don't pay no attention to them because
I know they're gonna go away. Don't mean nothin'.
They'll lose their job or they'll get sick, of they'll
have a stroke, or just any damn thing happen, or
they'll get to doin' somethin' else. They can't stay
on you for ever."--Benny Binion


King James said to the fly, Have I three kingdoms, and
thou must needs fly into my
eye?--John Selden

Everything everywhere is faster and lighter and
smoother and brighter and better than it’s ever been
before;
Everything everywhere is longer and leaner and
stronger and meaner and bigger than it ever was way
back when;
When it was small and kind and weak and fat and short
and worse and dull and rough and dark and slow;
Like back in the old days; Jesus Christ, say what you
will,
At least we got cable now….
We’re wireless
--Chandler Travis

The most exquisite folly is made of wisdom spun too
fine.—Benjamin Franklin

THE SUBURBAN MIND

I am so happy, especially now that I can live through
the accomplishments of my children.

Pondering the amusing televised antics of sports
figures and Hollywood celebrities occupies a
significant portion of my time.

I love finding an inexpensive restaurant in
Collegetown so I can have PhD-level peons wait on me
hand and foot. Who's the smartie NOW??

I feel vaguely threatened by anything that I'm not
likely to see on television.

I hate to admit it, but when repairmen come to my
home, I hide, because I'm afraid of those burly men.

Pictures o' cute l'il pups and kitties gives me a warm
'n' huggy feeling inside.

It's really not funny, you know, to make sport of the
Negroes.

Gee, work sure does stink, but at least my fellow
employees are a friendly bunch. All except for this
one jerk.

Did I tell you about the cute little poopie that my
puppy left in the rose bed?

Polluters. Tsk.

Oh! Those crazy big-city drivers!

1*SALUTATION
ESTONIAN TELEVISION
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uKeJMj0efN4&mode=related&search=
http://youtube.com/watch?v=5LWL2Ii7rxo
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qPnblT4Q9RY&mode=related&search=
http://youtube.com/watch?v=gDpTnbXdeCc&mode=related&search=

2*REFERENCE
ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF THE MAGNA CARTA
http://www.bl.uk/treasures /magnacarta/translation.html

3*HUMOR
SPURIOUS PROVERBS

The fear of death is to be dreaded as the fountain
overflows.

Love, and a cough, soon dies.

Fear is the parent of happiness.

Beware the tyranny of will power.

A poem should be more fun than a drinking spree in New
York City.

100,000 men and 100,000 dollars are never wrong.

The devil is a hero.

Free will is neither will nor free.

Hunger is better than a laugh.

The world is a playground where madmen grow dizzy.

Self control is the opiate of the bourgeoisie.

Spelling equals morality.

The man who prays the loudest is the most pious.

In their secret heart of hearts, most dentists know
that flossing is a waste of your precious precious
time.

Look to your aunt, thou sluggard.

Jesus was actually a werewolf.

Chess would be more fun if all the pawns were queens.

What the world really needs is more folk singers.

It takes a village to build a prison.

Discussing the antics of self-indulgent jet-setters
makes life worth living.

Fat people have a good deal to be jolly about.

Immigrants are mostly imbeciles.

Radioactivity is all in your mind.

Without air conditioning and taco sauce, life would be
unendurable.

Tradition is what gets in the way.

We will all have free will if only we submit ourselves
to God's word.

Rectify the fucking language.

4*NOVELTY
BOSTON GARAGE BANDS PODCAST
http://www.bostongaragebands.com/BGB-Main.html

5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
JUGGALO PRIDE
Calling all Juggalos and Juggalettes! We need to bring
back our family. I can think of a lot of juggalos that
are down as fuck, but I dont know, theres just a lot
of juggalos that like to argue, and there's slutty ass
bitches claimen lette cause there going out with
juggalos, and then theres juggalos treating real
lettes like a piece of ass, we all just need to learn
respect like the old days. We need to start a
movement, bring back respcect and unity, If your for
this add your name. Lets unite to bring back our
family
http://groups.myspace.com/realjuggalos1

1. SkullFuck - www.myspace.com/muzzlefacedkilla
2.Buddy-www.myspace.com/ghetto_ninja
3. Sugar Bear--->
http://www.myspace.com/mufuckinhoodhustla
4.Mr.Wayne-www.myspace.com/mrhappy666
5.lil murda~http://www.myspace.com/all_chained_up4u
6. Candy-> http://www.myspace.com/tchschica
7. Chrissi......hhtp://www.myspace.com/yeetyeetslette
8.mercedes.....benz_0/~!*spooky_lil_ ladi*!~
9. Katie.. tha lil lette
10. jessi (SeXy SoUtHeRnGiRl)
11. Priest-hhtp://www.myspace.com/priestofthejuggalos
12. The Lost Poet - www.myspace.com/brujah1234
13. Jesse- Dementia www.myspace.com/ordainedblind89
14. Kristen aka Slightly Fallen Angel-
www.myspace.com/kitty_the_homicidal_mania
15. Tracy--a-k-a-->Trix
16 253 killla jaxe juggalo psc
www.myspace.com/alex_the_skater keep up juggalos
17. Ms Kitty http://www.myspace.com/bichocolette42069
18.tyler http://www.myspace.com/kvjnbncjkbgjkg
19.hizzy-http://www.myspace.com/hizzydajuggalette
20.silent assassin twistedracing_666@yahoo.com
21.Shelly http://www.myspace.com/clownhumper
22. Twilight- http://www.myspace.com/insane_jamie
23. Robert AKA REKOJ
24.patrick aka mVniak
25.whitlock
26.royal - myspace.com/runninwiththehatchet6
27 casket-www.myspace.com/christianjuggalo
28. TiffanyAnn myspace.com/Neatobitch
29. Kyle aka Tweak-myspace.com/wutbitchwut
30. Serial Killa C- www.myspace.com/serialkillac
31. Kirby- myspace.com/tukathashapeshifter
32. Jizzles. myspace.com/freekjenn6954
33. Wiggles - myspace.com.juggalettehatchetswinga
34. Kollin Haney- myspace.com/h4ljuggalo
35. West Coast Willis- myspace.com/wells_twj
36. CherryPie-
www.myspace.com/whosbehindthejuggalopower
37. relliK - www.myspace.com/homicidal_suicidal_acts
38. Steph tha lil red lette -
www.myspace.com/majikninjette420
39. Mutant X- www.myspace.com/spyke_vampirous
40. Syndrome~WWW.myspace.com/murders_just_a_game
41. Minerva- www.myspace.com/athena25
42. Goof-E- www.myspace.com/goofejuggalo
43.juggakaylette-http://www.myspace.com/omg_shfiftey_five
44. Gumz 2021 - http://www.myspace.com/gumz2021
45. Seoul- http://www.myspace.com/twiztidninjalo82
46. court- http://www.myspace.com/twizted_monkey1115
47. court- http://www.myspace.com/yourfoolishlette
48. Leahlovelylette-
http://www.myspace.com/down4lifejuggalette
49.HOMICIDLE "THA SOUTH/EAST SERIAL KILLA"
50.Juan-www.myspace.com/xxxxxspadexxxxx
51.Dylan--www.myspace.com/imdylanurjealous
52.NFS The Thirsty - www.myspace.com/thethirsty
53.Nicole-www.myspace.com/nikkigirl15
54.♥Panda™-www.myspace.com/obscenetophat
55.myspace.com/freazu
56.: one 6sic6 lette [michelle]
myspace.com/xldarkkisseslx
57: LiL JAiME -
http://www.myspace.com/lovexonly2xhate69
58. kateee the [kiLLette] -
www.myspace.com/missjoliex3
59. Nikki - http://www.myspace.com/blahfaerie
60. Sean - http://www.myspace.com/seancote
61. Marc - http://www.myspace.com/ziggy619
62. Tia - http://www.myspace.com/psycho_gurlforever
63. D3M0N - www.myspace.com/m0rbidxmind
64. tabitha-
http://www.myspace.com/alone_and_depressed4ever
65. Dustani Juggalo 4 Life MothaFackos -
www.myspace.com/tarotakashi
66. ~*CherryBomb*~ - www.myspace.com/lette4life23
67.Lexi Luvs u I ♥ Shaggy 2 Dope!!!
68. Klown ~ http://www.myspace.com/klown17
69. JWF (Juggalo Wrestling Federation)
http://www.myspace.com/jwfmd
70. Shy -
http://www.myspace.com/nuke_your_fukin_hampster
71. Colin - http://www.myspace.com/ktr1313
72. Dj Tweek - http://www.myspace.com/dj_tweek
73. Miss Psycho Sideshow ♥ -
http://www.myspace.com/misspsychosideshow
74. chris http://www.myspace.com/pudgesterskater9
75.psycho frizz-www.myspace.com/psychofrizz
76.Sara-http://www.myspace.com/juggalette_for_life152006
77. Shaed ~ http://www.myspace.com/blackwings01
78. chris aka magical ninja click tha pic an you can
see profile
79.NOMAD [AFR]-MYSPACE.COM/DEMONPOAT
80.LEAVED EGGS[AFR]MMFCL- www.myspace.com/killthericans
81.Coconutz J4L-http://www.myspace.com/hawaiianbrian1
82.Jessica Aka
Payasa~~www.myspace.com/wickid_lette_4_lyfe
83.jake varah (jackel)www.myspace.com/jake_varah
84. ~*~JuggaletteGoddess~*~[[Liz]]
www.myspace.com/juggaletteprincess4lyfe
85-------------DOUBLE FUCKING
D(E)MIZE-------myspace.com/davidmize1-------
86 Genito Aka BoOgEyMaN / Big Shrilla / Baby Joka /
Gee
http://www.myspace.com/SocietysMostHated
87.stoney da klown- www.myspace.com/stoneyzhippie
88. Living Ghost-
http://www.myspace.com/ghostofthelotuspod
89. T the
Juggalo-http://www.myspace.com/tbonethejuggalo
90. Azrael - http://www.myspace.com/Juggalotimebomb
91. Craz -http://www.myspace.com/crazkiller
92. Starr~ http://www.myspace.com/starr_lette
93. Jeff aka lil pot - http://www.myspace.com/thyjoker
94. *Chri$* aka Paked Bowl-
http://www.myspace.com/juggalo420666
95. Melina - http:/www.myspace.com/mechanic_mel
96. dr.flatline http:/www.myspace.com/dr.flatline
97.mike martyr-http:/www.myspace.com/k4ac The curse
continues
98. Gordon - http:/www.myspace.com/juggalonw
99. Juggalo Bloodfreak- www.mypace.com/pope_of_dope
100.Tantrum aka costanza-www.myspace.com/mmffcl4l
101. Ricky - http:/www.myspace.com/rickytheferret
102. Jack aka Full Metal Warrior -
www.myspace.com/juggaloofdoom
103. Becka [[Smurfette the Lette]]-
www.myspace.com/tinayoufatlard666
104. Corey- www.myspace.com/hardcoresandman
105. FREEK- www.myspace.com/_juggs_
106. tons of fun-www.myspace.com/wicked_fatman
107. C-Money $ - www.myspace.com/bmkpenguin
108. ZERO - www.myspace.com/27807918
109. Dope-D....www.myspace.com/schizolette
110. LOCO ... www.myspace.com/locothejuggalo
111. Kaley---www.myspace.com/candygurl951
112. kim aka kid------ myspace.com/kimakakid
113. Warlord Aka Wookie ---
http://www.myspace.com/warlord1981
114. Tucker --- http://www.myspace.com/fuckedupfreak
115. Nizzy--- www.myspace.com/cottoncandy31269
116. Craig---www.myspace.com/twiztedjuggalo420
117. Jenn---www.myspace.com/psyk0pathicclown HIT IT
UP!
118. Matt---www.myspace.com/ravenx420
119.
panchothejuggalo-www.myspace .com/spartanbrianheintz
120. zak mcneely_____-----
www.myspace.com..zaksaidfuckyou
121. Jahmel.....www.myspace.com/beastfromda_east
122. Blowpop :. www.myspace.com/heeyxmissxmurder
123. BooDuh- www.myspace.com/full_contact_fighter68
124.Den2e/G.F.C.--www.myspace.com/godsforgottenchildren---------
MUCH
125.RockStar-37/G.F.C.--www.myspace.com/godsforgottenchildren
-- FAMILY
126.Hellyn/G.F.C.--www.myspace.com/godsforgottenchildren---------
LOVE
127. Sarah - www.myspace.com/babi_bear_10 - much love
128. juggalo shank. www.myspace.com/twiztidjuggalo13
129.
SpAzZ_Tha_Lette----www.myspace.com/bloodytears20052000
130. Matt AKA fReAk Tha
Juggalo-------www.myspace.com/crashdummy08
131. Kristy - www.myspace.com/ninjette420
132. Matthew (WARIO)- www.myspace.com/bigboss7285
133. Sam- www.myspace.com/samskittles
134. SkitzO- www.myspace.com/ajxxforever &
www.myspace.com/juggalette43ver
135.Nicotine Radio-www.myspace.com/Corrupt_ICP_Juggalo
136. Jessi Jeckel- Myspace.com/jessi_jeckel
137. RapSquatch-Myspace.com/bloodyrazorblade666
138. Darrell "Efx" - Myspace.com/stonedasscracker
139. Kwiki - Myspace.com/toytank
140. Mr.Diamond -myspace.com/anybody_blaze
141. Tazzo--->www.myspace.com/Moshgod_09
142. Anna- www.myspace.com/rainbowflyingkittie
143.Blue-http://www.myspace.com/twiztidfreek91982
144.Mounds--www.myspace.com/emowhores
145.DiCE--www.myspace.com/lets_go_all_tha_way
146.GiggLeZ~~>http://www.myspace.com/gigglez517
147.SHORTY: http://www.myspace.com/nubbfairy
148.LizzyBear > www.myspace.com/lizzybear420
149.daddycoconut - www.myspace.com/daddycoconut
150. MisZ RagEdy ANn --
www.myspace.com/kaitlyn_loves_yoo
151. RottenMouth - www.myspace.com/JurzeyKilla

A poem made by the beautiful Katie

now let me tell ya something
about us here juggalos
before you .. to hate us
for some reason you don't even know
we are a true family
we got each other's back
even if we dont know them
and thats a fact
you see, we all stand for the same thing
mad juggalo pride
and we have all caught
the same carnival high
we dont like to be stereotyped
like being a lo means all you do is smoke weed
just keep the respect goin
thats all we need
we mean it when we say
"i trust my life with these los and lettes"
even with the ones we barely know
or never met
we keep the scrub life alive
so do our rising clowns
we've got mad love
for anyone who's down
we're a bunch of outsiders
brought together where we belong
and if you think we're all the same
this is where you really are wrong
wiggers, twiztid serial killers, and ninjas
so many hate, yet we stand tall
laidback stoners and college-bound kids
our family has them all
its not the amount of merchandise,
the face paint, or sayin fuck feminem
icp was voted the worst band
and we still love them
its just a pride that connects us
not something to do to look cool
its love, respect, and unity
no guidlines or rules
now that you've read this
what do you haters have to say?
naw, fuck that
because, with much clown love, we'll always be this
way

6* DAILY UTILITY
RAT ON A TOILET
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=e99_1181887322

7*CARTOON
KATZENJAMMER KIDS
The 'stache must come in handy for the Cap'n, who can
make ugly faces at his common-law wife....
http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/wklysvc/images/samples/katzkids.gif

8*PRESCRIPTION

  WHERE IS MY SAILOR BOY?
http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:yLw3MsXwe7UJ:www.geocities.com/nashville/3448/deepsea.html+%22Oh+where+is+my+sailor+boy%3F%22+%22rolls+on%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us

9* RUMOR PATROL
From BOSTON GLOBE 20070617
TATTOOS
http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/06/17/the_colors_of_success/

10*LAGNIAPPE
IRISH-ITALIAN RESTAURANTS
Icepick O'Houlihan's
Tater Fanguul
Guappo McBogtrotter's
Killer O'Drunkies
Stiletto Malone's

11*DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF
OTHER MEDIA
HARRY POTTER
Isn't it ridiculous that so many grown adults are
obsessed with a fictional character called 'Harry
Potter'?

I mean, "Fatty Fat Fat McFatterson" or "Douchey Von
Douchebag" I could understand, but...

Harry Potter?

"Army Man Maker and Seller of Pottery Utensils"?

FUCK!

I mean, I could see if his name were something like
"Oofty Goofty O'Stuporson," or "Old Honest John
Fartpants," but...Harry Potter?

That's just infantile.

Either that, or it’s borderline pornographic.

330. CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE
QUINCY
Jack Klugman’s Oscar Madison reincarnated as a ranting
nitwit coroner, whose every other breath was used to
shout, "I'm going to get to the bottom of this if it's
the very last thing I do!"

Actually, Jack Klugman was cool.

It's just that this truly vile 70s show was the
template for every
gimmicky, loud, pointless, self-righteous, loud,
brassy, lousy, gratuitously spooky,
mostly brain-dead medical examiner and forensic
pathologist show ever devised
by some of the most heartless hacks to ever crank out
brainwash fodder
on behalf of
the suits upstairs
with fuck-you money
who like to violently roger self-loathing white trash
whores
with beat-me pouts
and all for the indubitable delectation of
the slack-jawed
fuck-me masses
sitting at home
stuffing their hog maws with General Cho's chicken
and coconut butter-slathered popcorn
and all-butterfat-and-carageenan cheap-ass store-brand
ice-cream
and washing it all down with generic diet "cola"
that tastes like billygoat piss in tin cans.

But Oscar was cool.