With Father's Day fast approaching, I've been putting my thoughts together about my own Father. Each time that I had some time to myself, I tried to sum up a tribute article in my mind, and this article is the result.
Considering the fact that I'll soon be 47 years old, there are a heck of alot of thoughts and memories considering my Father, so I'll try my best to include all that I can.
On May 15 of this year, my Dad celebrated is 70'th birthday. Of course I've always loved my Dad with all of my heart and soul, however since he's now my only living immediate relative, my love for him is even stronger than ever. This may be hard for some people to understand, however those of you who have lost loved ones to death might just understand where I'm coming from.
Back in my hometown, my Father is by far one of the most loved and respected people in the community. Of course I'm being a bit partial here, however if I you knew my Dad's name, I'd bet my next paycheck that most everyone in Fulton, Ky would tell you the same.
Of course none of us are too old to seek advice from our parents. Go ahead and call me a Daddy's boy if you wish....it won't hurt my feelings. I'll be the first to admit that when I need advice, I turn to Daddy and I'm proud to say so. Most everytime that I failed to take his advice, I suffered for it. Most everytime that I took his advice, I reaped the rewards. After all, he has always been 23 years older than me, so he has always had 23 years more experience in life than I have. Now that he's my only immediate living family member, I listen to him even more than ever. Now that I'm his only surviving child, I'm even more confident in his advice than ever before. Again, some of you might not understand this, and those of you who have lost loved ones might just understand it all.
Going back in time, my Dad served in the U.S. Air Force just after the Korean War. He served on the DMZ in Korea, and he also served in Japan. I have seen many pictures from the regions where he served as well as numerous artifacts that he brought back. Each time that I visit with him, he has a new tale about his experiences in Asia. Since I have never been to Asia, I have a hard time relating to his stories, however I always enjoy listening to him spinning his tales, and they are always very educational.
The best way to describe my Fathe is as follows.
Honest : Beware...If you want the truth, that's exactly what you'll get from my Father whether you like it or not ( now you see where I got that from ) Most people respect him for his honesty, however he has also made a few enimies along his way.
Hospitable: When friends visit my Dad, they pretty much have run of the house. If you want something to drink, my Stepmother will gladly serve you. However if you want a ham sandwich, my Dad will point you towards the fridge. Knock yourself out.....eat all you want. What's his is yours. All of my personal friends who have visited my Dad's house describe my Dad as the greatest Human Being who has ever walked the face of the Earth, and they describe the environment there in words such as " Paradise"
Soft Spoken: Even when he is telling you the truth, which might not be exactly what you want to hear, he speaks with a soft voice ( boy do I wish I had inherited that trait from him )
Hard Working: During my childhood, my Dad worked for the U.S. Post Office during the day, and he worked on the family farm after hours. After all, he had a family of four to feed, so he did what he had to do to put food into our mouths. Once my brother and I became working age, he also required the same from us. If we needed anything, he provided it for us. If we wanted anything, he required us to work for it.
Loving: If my Dad loves you as a friend, he will go out of his way to help you. If he doesn't ...oh well..too bad so sad. And if he doesn't love you, then you can pretty much bet that he has a very good reason for it.
Well that pretty much sums up my Dad. Of course I love him now more than I ever have, and I'm more than thankful to still have him in my life.
Happy Father's Day Daddy ! I LOVE YOU !
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Comments: 28
The Keg in Fulton is now a drug dealer's hangout, and I wouldn't stop in there if my life depended on it !
I think you're a lot more like your Dad than you think you are. What a great tribute to a wonderful-sounding Dad. I do understand - both of my parents are gone now.
I featured this in the group: Post what doesn't FIT anywhere else!
With thanks,
Marilyn
Your father sounds like a good man. You are absolutely right. He's got 23 years on you! LOL. I still listen to my father even though I am in my mid-30s. He's got 30+ years on me after all. I still talk to my parents at least once a week by phone even though we are hundreds of miles away. There is nothing wrong with loving your parents. And I commend you for the tribute you have paid him.
BTW...I would like to know how you came to the conclusion that American society is against people who love their parents ? I've lived in this country for all of my 46 years, and I've never heard such nonsense. Where did you get that from ?
I must have missed it.... I thought you were in your 20's. I don't know where I got that from.
I can't speak for tatsurs but I have similar feelings. I wouldn't generalize and say the American society is against people who love their parents, but I do think the parents are indeed much less respected in America than in Taiwan. She's from Taiwan too, so I can kind of understand what she means. A few traits that make me think that include: Kids wanting to move out as soon as they turn 18; grown kids putting elderly parents into old people homes and not taking care of them personally; and kids talking back to the parents or not listening to the parents; etc.
Darcey D.
It's not just the U.S. Look at all those the French elderly who died in the heatwave while their families were on vacation.
Anyway, it's sad to me. I could never envision myself just putting my parents out of my mind because it's more convenient. I can't see you doing that either, but given all the stories you hear, we are more uncommon than most.
Alot of times, children have to put their parents in a Nursing Home simply because they have to work for a living and they can't afford to stay at home and take care of them. Another example, my Dad and I made the decision to put my Grandma in a nursing home because she had alsheimers. Even if we wern't working, there was no way we could take care of her. People with alsheimers are well known for wandering off never to be seen again. The nursing home where she spent the last year of her life specialized in alsheimers patients, and she was provided with better care than any of us could have provided for her. She wasn't left alone, either my Dad or stepmother visited her everyday, and I visited her on my days off from work.
Thanks for stopping by !
I know it is dangerous to generalize anything. But it is really very different from our culture in Taiwan. It is normal for 3 or 4 generations to live together in a household.
I read a comment that you left on my friend Todd's article, and just as I replied to you there, 3 or 4 generations living together here just won't work. The older generations will try to control the younger generations, and the younger generations will feel as if they have no independance. We have to get out on our own and make our own lives for ourselves. Otherwise, we will never mature as adults.
On the other hand, a friend of mine who is teaching English in Taiwan stated that Taiwanese females are anywhere from 5 to 6 years behind there American counterparts emotionaly and maturity. In other words, a 21 year old Taiwanese female is at about the maturity level of a 16 year old American girl.
No offense intended, but I just had to point that out.
It's not that I consciously pretend that I still live in Taiwan, but it is really hard to get out of it after 23 years of my life.
For us, most of the cultural differences are second nature for us, and it's hard for us to explain if that makes any sense.
Having one foot in one culture and another foot in the other, I can see the pros and cons of both cultures. I agree that having multiple generations living under one roof is very difficult and makes it hard for the younger generation to spread their wings (hence the women immaturity difference). On the other hand, it's great support to have and the closeness of the bonds are priceless. American culture though is to get them independent as fast as possible sometimes making it hard for the younger generation to get a head start. Then when the parents get older, they wonder why their children are too busy to help out.
My solution has been that when my folks get older, we are going to try to get them to move as close as possible to us, perhaps next door (physical abilities permitting). However, like Tim says, if they have serious disabilities, then we will need to do something else. But I like the idea of my parents having their independence, yet nearby assistance - this is a nice compromise.
No one culture has the utopian society and it's best to take the good from both. I agree that too much family time can be detrimental. But too little also has shown itself to be just as bad for society.
I would never meet anyone from the internet, however I think that it would be very educational if you, Selene and I were to get together and discuss these differences in culture, and the pros and cons of both cultures. Again, I would never do that, but perhaps we could pull that off via a Gather interview ? Hey, I'm game of you girls are. Just let me know.
I have always wanted to write more about the Chinese culture (whether good or bad) and post to my group About Chinese. But as you can see, that has not happened.....