Father's Day Special...one step daughter and years of worry on the side.

With Father's Day being tomorrow, I can't help but to think of my situation with my Dad.  Truth be told, I was adopted by my step father (who I consider my dad, and basically always have).  But wait, that isn't where this story begins is it.  My "biological" father (oh, I hate that term, more like sperm donor) has never been a part of my life.  My mother left him when I was three weeks old for very good reasons which I won't go into on here (those are my mothers issues, not mine) and although child support was sought after, he evaded it very well by moving from state to state and I have never seen more than a picture of him.  My older brother has memories of him, but like I said I was 3 weeks old...so yeah, I don't remember anything. 

Next phase of this story is where I start to have memories.  I remember another man whom we lived with for a short while, his name was Ronnie.  He always let me cut the crust off my bread, which my mom wouldn't have let me do.  My memories of him are fond ones, but very few.  I have learned through some of my family members that he has asked about "us kids" when he bumped into them at the store.  He got married and had children of his own, but he was my father figure for my first memories (not my father, just a father figure).  

Last phase starts when more of my first memories are forming.  His name was John and him and mom were going on a date....and get this....taking us kids with them to see ET at the movie theater.  After the movie I was purchased a stuffed ET.  I don't remember actually seeing the movie, or the purchasing of the stuffed contraband, all I can remember is being in the lobby of the movie theater and walking towards the room where the show would be playing.   Then, my memories suddenly go to moving into an apartment and covering my eyes while mom and the new dad kissed at their wedding.  All of a sudden, I had a step father, and as we all know from disney's wise cartoons...all step parents are evil (right?).  My brother and the new guy fought, but all in all, I stayed quiet and was a pretty well behaved young lady.  There were things that irritated me about this guy, but hey, I didn't have any say in the matter, he was "dad" now and I didn't cross him.  So, time went on and life became more natural with stepdad, and when he asked if I wanted to be adopted by him, I said yes, after all...like I said....he really was the only dad I could remember having, had been there since some of my first memories.  Nothing changed really, except for my last name and my birth certificate.  

Sidestory here.....they actually changed my father's name on my birth certificate from my biological father to my stepfather's name.  It was as if my sperm donor no longer existed.  I think this is crazy and can't believe it is legal for them to wipe him from existence and falsify legal documents.....but they did. This is where you should pause and read a novel very quickly (1984, George Orwell) which is about a man whose job is to falsify documents to make events happen that never did and people who existed once disappear from the world....

So here we are.  I have a stepfather who has been transformed into my dad.  There is a place in the Bible where it talks about God adopting us into His family.  I can really relate to this God better than most I think.  Reason being, I know what it feels like to be rejected by those who are supposed to accept me for who I am no matter what, and I also know what it feels like to be loved and cared for by someone who didn't have to....but chose to.  This is how I feel and why I am grateful for my father on Father's Day.  He didn't have to accept me.  He didn't have to even pretend to think I was adorable and the bestest daughter in the world.  He simply could have walked away from my mother and my brother and me because this was too much responsibility.  I mean come on....a single man suddenly turned into a husband and father of two, not because he was forced to, but because he "chose" to be apart of my life.

Bottom line....no offense to all you out there who have your biological father all your life, but......... my biological father didn't want me when he was supposed to and another man who didn't have to take care of me has for the past twenty some years.  I love my dad and I have chosen him as the one who I would honor on Father's Day.  

(Any dimwhit can be a father, it takes a real man to be daddy.......anonymous)