Turns out the wipers only work for the outside of the window.

Every morning on the way to my car I pick up two cans of crisp, refreshing Coke Zero from the soft drink storage area in my garage. The first can is for drinking on my way in to work as it’s too hot for coffee these days, even at seven in the morning. The second can I take with me inside work and stow in the communal refrigerator for consumption later in the day.

Except when I don’t. Apparently, I left can #2 in the car this morning. What’s worse is I left it sitting on the front passenger seat (I actually cleaned my car out yesterday so the seat was available) in direct sunlight for oh, I dunno, five hours. I remember remarking how warm the can felt when I got in the car earlier this afternoon and drove to get some lunch, a mammoth burrito from QDoba with a large drink since my standby beverage was too hot.

The drive to and from the restaurant must have jostled the warmed can enough to reach its failure point. I was about a block away from work when a big asplosion went off in my passenger seat, showering the inside of my vehicle with a foamy mist of hot Coke Zero. I had to quickly unplug the iPod and cellphone and power them down since both were in close proximity of the blast and received more than their recommended daily dosage of liquid exposure. Both were a little sticky but they survived the incident, thankfully.

In spite of the mess, I couldn’t help but marvel at the impressive blast radius created by one twelve ounce can of Coke Zero. The windshield, the driver and passenger windows were splattered with droplets of beverage shrapnel. Even the overhead dome light had a few spots on it. In the parking lot at work I wiped up as much as I could with a few napkins I swiped from QDoba. Thankfully, my car has a dark interior, most of which already stained, so I don’t suspect there to be any long term vehicle damage.

One positive note, the Coke Zero seems to have masked the strong smell of the Speedstick deodorant that evaporated in my car over the weekend. So it just goes to show that every cloud does have a silver lining, even the clouds created from an overheated soft drink exploding in your car.