I have suffered from mental illness all my life. I have what I have chosen to accept as a medically diagnosed illness called Bi-polar II. I can go for months or even years with no or few problems, then I will cycle down and get into a deep depression. I can also have periods of mild mania that include mind racing, insomnia, talking a mile a minute, spending too much money, restless legs, and much more. IWhen I go through a dip into depression, often what hurts most is the lack of understanding by family, friends and even fellow Christians. My family has grown tremendously in understanding, but I can always find someone who just does not understand - they think I am either just lazy or I have not prayed enough, or I am not faithful enough. There is a common debate out there: Is mental Illness a treatable medical condition that should be dealt with through prayer, medications, and therapy, or is it a weakness in the relationship with God, truly treatable only through prayer and meditation to develop a stronger relationship with God? I personally believe there is scientific proof to back up that mental illness is a physiological imbalance of chemicals that needs to be treated medically, therapeutically, and can be aided through prayer. This is why I felt the need to write this commentary today; to try to provide understanding about mental illness from a personal perspective, to the Christian community and those suffering from mental illness.
So many people see mental illness as a weakness, or a lack of closeness to God. I laugh at that, because I am never as close or praying as much as when I am in the midst of a depressive episode! In fact, I feel that God uses me through my mental illness journey. The experiences I have had with my mental illness can help me be empathetic and helpful to others and bring them closer to God. He uses me when I am in group therapy to be able to discuss Him when people ask about God. I feel He leads me to go about it gently and let Him show me who to talk to, rather than forcefully trying to convert everyone I meet. I think He uses me to show people that Christians suffer too, but they can have the comfort of a loving God who carries them through the difficult times.
I do believe that there are parts of mental illness that can be cured through a relationship with God, but also think that it is a illness just like any other. You would not try to get closer to God instead of taking insulin for Diabetes, or forego chemotherapy to cure cancer . . . Miracle healing from God can happen in all of these situations, and often they are part of a plan to help us be "pruned" to produce good fruits in the future (see my post called "A Visit with the Vinekeeper" for more explanation on this), however, that does not mean you should forego medical treatment and therapy.
If your son was in a wreck and was told that with therapy he could walk again, would you say, "Son, don't get therapy, just pray every day and then one day you will walk." NO!!! You would say "get the therapy and pray while you do it and God will make you walk again." Mental illness is no different.
It has been scientifically proven that mental illnesses arise from chemical imbalances in the brain. A PET scan of the brain of an average person compared to a person with mental illness would show that certain areas of the brain lack chemical activity required to maintain mental health. The PET scan is not done on every person who comes in for mental illness treatment because of the cost and the fact that there are known questions that can be asked to determine which mental illness the person has without doing the scan (I don't necessarily agree with this practice and would love to tell a person on the insurance board "Yeah, you may have strep throat or it could be cancer. We'll just do chemo-therapy in case because it sounds like cancer." I don't think that would fly!).
So, we know that mental illness is not a weakness, a shortcoming in relationship with God, or because of laziness. Does that mean that God can't or won't help in the cure for the illness? NO!!!! As I stated before, I do believe that many of the things that arise in the life of a person with mental illness can be helped by further developing a relationship with God and understanding their purpose in life. It also helps a great deal to have a strong relationship with God because certain torturous aspects of the illness can go away with the close relationship with God.
I can say for myself, that when I really got close to God and began to rely on Him to carry me through the hard times of depression, I stopped having suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts are torturous because it is never what you really want to do, and they become like an obsession from which you feel you need to try to run and hide.
My relationship with God is not perfect, it is not where I want it to be (that will happen the day I enter heaven - until then, I will always long for more), and it has not taken away all of the pains of my life. It does give me great comfort, however, and I trust that in time I will be able to be well without the help of medicine and through the help of God. I don't think God gave me my mental illness, but I think He can use me through it, and He can help me through it, but He also put doctors on this earth to learn how to defeat these things. People think because this deals with the mind that it is a weakness that can simply be "gotten over" -- I wish it were that simple! Because I have been through what I have been through, I am closer to God than I may have been otherwise, and I can be more compassionate to those that suffer like me.
I actually had a preacher tell me he would give me financial assistance when my husband lost his job, but that they specifically would not pay for my visits to a psychiatrist or therapist or for mental medications. However, if I were a diabetic, they would have had no problem assisting with doctor visits and medications for the diabetes. Now, not all churches are like this, thank God!
When I posted this on another board, a person wrote that when her son died after a pre-mature birth, a deacon advised them that they needed to look at their life and see what sin they had that allowed God to take their son. What kind of thing is that to say? That goes against the God I know of from the bible - He doesn't take our children from us because of our sin. The God of the bible loved us so much He sent His only Son to die for our sins -- all of the sins not just a select few sins.
I write this commentary to give comfort to those Christians who are suffering from mental illness: know what you are going through is an illness, and that seeking medical treatment and therapy is what needs to be done to help you be healed. Also know, however, that the illness can be made better while you have it; you can find comfort, love and acceptance through God who loves you even though you have this condition. Be aware that your best hope for a full cure of this condition lies in seeking a deeper relationship with God. He is The Great Physician, and has trained physicians here on earth for a reason, just as He has trained those in ministry -- seek help from all of these aspects and you will be made whole!
My thanks to Jenn D. who in a comment provided a link to Christian Depression Pages. This site is a truly wonderful reference for Christians wanting to understand mental health or need to know how to explain their illness to Christian friends or family. I found the following from their site particularly helpful.
Religious or spiritual things that get said:- There must be something wrong with your spiritual life.
- Repent and ask forgiveness for your sin!
- Real Christians don't get depressed.
- You need to have more faith / have faith in God.
- Taking antidepressants is playing God, He can heal you.
- Scripture says everything that happens is for your own good!
- You've been prayed for, why has nothing changed?
- Depression is a self discipline problem.
- You should be praying about this.
- You just need to rebuke that spirit of depression and tell it to leave you. Don't let Satan steal your joy.
I was inspired to re-publish this (edited) after reading Should Counselors Have to Use Empirically Supported Techniques in Treatment by Jacqueline Bethune. Jacqueline brings up a lot of great points in her article and I suggest anyone interested in this topic read it. I not only deal with being bipolar II, but I am also interested in becoming a therapist who will use cognitive behavioral therapies, such as Reality Therapy, as well as adding in aspects of Christian faithfor those seeking spiritual help in understanding what is happening to them. This will be an addition to true psychotherapy, not instead of, and will be to help the patient understand that what they are experiencing is not from a lack of faith or demon posession. It is a true medical problem that needs real help just like someone with cancer, heart problems, MS . . . Faith helps in all of these diseases, but should never be a replacement for medical treatment.
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Comments: 41
I am sorry that you're experiencing the 'dip' now... been there; it was no fun at all.
I'm working on an Honours degree in English...then hoping to find a Master's program I can live with (there aren't any local and I don't want to move - a bit of a dilemma!)
Your article is a powerful testimony to both your faith and positive self image. I appreciate your courage and willingness to share about this disease in such a personal manor. It is an excellent article for anyone who suffers from the disease regardless of their faith.
Many thanks for sharing your personal testimony with Bi-Polar II. I relate to every point made in your well-written article. I have "one" cousin with whom I can open up regarding my illness without being mistreated and accused of "whatever". I grew up specifically learning to "NOT TALK" about problems or issues at home, etc.,...therefore I believe that was certainly a God-thing for us. I was 40 y/o when diagnosed along with PTSD, and other illnesses.
God's many blessings to you and may His strength, love and care continue to get you through each day and bring about all the provisions needed to accomplish His will for you in this life. I admire your courage greatly!!! I wish I had time to talk more to you. Also, don't feel comfortable doing it on a public board. So thanks again and wow......what a blessing for me to come across your article today. I pray that many more will be blessed as well because of "you". You're so special. Never give up.
Affectionaly,
I hope that you recall my comments on your first article. Though they may be difficult to find, there are mental health professionals who incorporate faith-based principles into clinical counseling. I am one of them. If you want to check out the first nationally recognized faith-based counseling model, do a search on "Therapon Belief Therapy."
What I actually struggle with is desiring plain old acceptance with no attempt at making me "normal." I happen to LIKE my dysfunctional brain that regularly aches quit existing. It is what makes me me, and I don't want to give up my me-ness with a handful of pills that make my hands shake, give me headaches and make me think slower. I'd rather be dead than medicated....
It was good to read your article. I just got into a heated discussion by accident with a new acquaintance. I feel like I made a mistake bringing up depression in an open way-because he started to express some of the same responses that you have heard. Somehow he got onto that it was self centeredness or focus on self instead of God that causes depression to persist. I objected to that simplification and opined that it is a medical condition, a chemical imbalance which I am very familiar with. He seemed to step over some kind of boundary at that point. It was really hard to back out of the topic without offending him. It was like if I did not agree with him I was resisting God and the truth. I was very uncomfortable. There is depression that can be made worse by a thinking or by stress, but what I have mostly experienced is a clear imbalance.
I have recently become in involved with a Christian ministry group known as Stephen Ministers. We are a non-denominational Christian group ( sponsored by our individual churches) who are trained as listeners and friends to be with someone who is or has experienced a traumatic event in their lives. Good or bad.
We are sort of the people who are there are the funeral or after the baby is born, to visit with an individual until the entire crisis time period has passed, and onward. We are Not counselors, nor do we attempt to convert anyone to Christianity or our particular church. We are merely trying to act as Jesus acts towards us everyday. If any of you are interested, check with your local churches. It is a very wonderful experience.
I am Christian, specifically Episcopalian. My church hosts yoga and tai chi classes because these disciplines have been practiced and refined for many centuries by huge numbers of humans. They treat with movement many of the syndromes targeted by drugs in this culture. The side benefits of manufacturing your own feel-good chemicals are a more toned and trim body, savings in time and money, and receiving the chemicals specifically designed for your particular body. The side effects from mass-produced chemicals can be devastating, sometimes immediately but sometimes not until quite a bit of time has passed. Some are only designed to be taken briefly. Somehow people get left on them. As they age and metabolism changes, they may be completely disabled by the medication. It is so sad to have so much of this in this country, and we are exporting these issues to the countries of origin of yoga and tai chi. I believe this pattern is well understood in parts of our culture now, and that this knowledge is expanding, trickling up and down and sideways. Many people cannot afford health insurance, but can afford $24 per month for a gym, so the thinking middle may avail themselves of this knowledge. If only we could all afford the free gym our congresspeople have arranged for themselves, while they cater to pharmaceutical lobbyists. Sigh.
Mary
I loved your article.
Thanks for this article i will be back in a few i want to write more but need to go clean up something in the kitchen. BRB
I don't want to think I am disabled. I try to pace myself, but the depression part is as disabling as the physical. I just keep on trying, but I get tired too.
I don't believe that God is punishing me. I think Satan is pulling out all the stoppers to try and get me to believe that God has forsaken me. It's not happening. Jesus died for my sins, past, present and future so why would God punish me when I am following his son, my life a tribute and witness to his son.
I think everybody thinks they know it all. If you read in Job, it says that he was being tested. Satan took and took and took away from him and Job did not hate God he only questioned his birth. His friends came and said, what did you do to deserve this? Even his wife told him "Curse God and die!" Some friends he had, but my point in going down this path is that back then they said this, and now they say this too.
We do what we can in the natural (take medicine) and we do what we can in the spiritual (go to God)
Mental illness is not something we chose. And for those who have altered reality and act on it because of Mental illness are so misunderstood. I will post my poem
The Ultimate War in my next comment to you that I think addresses this. My question is, if I have mental illness and it means God has forsaken me, why would he give me this poem. It came through my mind like a freight train when I wrote it many years ago and I barely had the time to write it all down!
by Heather L Campbell
The battle line was drawn as the soldiers went to war.
There was so much at stake, so much worth fighting for.
The army marched into battle with the armor that they wore
Some fell down, couldn't go on, others went back in for more.
The battle raged on fully, the strength came from within.
The enemy keep coming back as the battleground was sin.
"Can God still love you, after you went and did all that?"
"You are no better than the rest", the enemy attacked.
Some may seem that they lost the bitterest battle of them all,
You'll still see them up in heaven, standing up real tall.
Jesus is amongst them, they didn't suffer here in vain,
Although they left the battle, they didn't miss the train.
They rode that train to Heaven, no matter what you heard.
They did believe in Jesus, yes, they believed in every word.
The enemy attacked with thoughts he put them in the ground.
They seem to have given up, but dear Jesus did not let them down.
It does seem they lost the battle but they didn't lose the war,
Jesus said "Believe in me" and that's what He came here for.
Although you hear they're forsaken, that's another lie, it is.
I believe that Jesus meant it when He said that we are His.
Religion can be a wonderful thing, but not when (as it often is) it is used as an excuse to avoid life or its difficulties. The most extreme case is when religious parents refuse medical treatment for their children believing that God will cure them, that all they need is enough faith.
God does not (in this life, anyway) punish the wicked or spare the faithful. If he did, you would have faith – not because you believe – but for the rewards he gives you. In '67 one of the worst hurricanes in history hit Texas. 5 women were held up in an old church, two felt that the church couldn't withstand the hurricane and left for stronger shelter, three thought it could, stayed and died.
They didn't die because there is no god, but because if god rewarded their faith then they would believe because of his rewards, not their intrinsic belief. He gave us reason for a purpose – to use it.
I am reminded of an old story…
A man lived in a house along the Mississippi. One day he hears on the radio that there is a flood coming. He says "I love God, I believe in God, and God will protect me". So he stays in his home.
The next day the water is up to his house. A man comes by in a boat and says "I will take you to safety."
The man says "I am staying here. I love God, I believe in God, and God will protect me".
The next day the house is all but submerged, and the man stands on the roof of his house. The worse it gets, the more he believes in this, a test of his faith. A helicopter comes by and they throw down a ladder. But the man refuses to leave.
"I love God, I believe in God, and God will protect me" He says.
The next day the man drowned.
The man found himself before God, and he said "God! I loved you, I believed in you! Why didn't you protect me?"
And God said "I sent you a radio message, a boat and a helicopter… What more did you want?"
I'm only four days old on this forum, but already I feel encouraged in finding other believers who suffer from Bipolar as I do. Thank you for this wonderful article. I hope God blesses you for this. I'm eager to read more of what you have written.
I'd also like to thank Heather for her poem, The Ultimate War. This could very well be my own story.
I am nearing twenty years since my diagnosis of bipolar. I grew up with a bipolar Mom who remains to this day unmedicated/untreated. There is denial in my physical family that this problem even exists. My church family is not much better. I've given up trying to get anyone to understand what it's like having such an intense emotional battle going on inside me. It's taken me years to finally separate the emotional wars from spirituality, or the lack of spirituality. One statement of affirmation from one friend was all I needed to assure me that bipolar was not a spiritual issue! I could go forward from then on, knowing that God was not condemning me for my feelings, but was and is walking with me through these struggles--step by step. Keep up the good work, Monica!
Whereas the body and mind are obviously connected I am not awed by the drug companies insistence that mental illness of which depression and anxiety are chief symptoms are simply the result of a 'chemical imbalance." In my personal and professional experience there are also psychological imbalances such as faulty thinking. And it is likely to me that faulty imbalanced thinking is likely to contribute to physiological imbalances.
I will add more later on....
As to God’s part – I am no expert. I do think there is a spiritual dimension to all of this but my since of spirituality is of this earth and has nothing to do with a transcendent God. Perhaps there is a God as you think of him but for me personally I have no particular interest.
So what am I talking about?
In my practice I happened to have had a number of ex alcohol and drug addicts who dropped out of AA but who were also “God” obsessed. Each of them felt as if they could not relate to the idea or experience of the “Higher Power.” But each wanted to connect to something we could all identify as “spiritual.”
Using both theirs and my own personal experiences as a guide I conducted research on this fascinating and important subject. I began by trying to pin down a definition of ‘spiritual.” What I discovered was common to all of their experiences (including my own) was the convergence of the following 5 concepts: faith, trust, hope, love, and persistence.
Each of my patients began therapy with me notably lacking a meaningful connection with each and all of these experiences. So did I at the beginning of my lengthy psychoanalysis. Next I asked myself where developmentally do these 5 experiences originate? Research indicates each and all of these experiences are dominant in year one consciousness. But isn’t the experience of one year olds pre verbal? Yes – but the free associations of patients make it crystal clear what their early experiences must have been.
Let’s say I am correct in this observation. Then the question is how are faith, trust, hope, love and persistence or their lack experienced by a one year old baby? All of these feeling states are components of what is referred to as a solid sense of self - the structure of identity. Developmental research indicates that a solid self will develop spontaneously to the degree to which the mother (or the equivalent) helps the bay tolerate increasing dosages of frustration.
Too much or too little frustration is experienced by the baby as ego weakness ( that is an incapacity to bear so called negative affects). Negative feelings that are the inevitable bi products of experiencing realistic limitations (missed expectations) include anxiety, depression, frustration, helplessness, hopelessness, ambiguity, ambivalence and the likes.
In this formulation the mentally healthy child is one who learns very early to tolerate such painful feelings including frustration, anxiety, depression and stress. They do not need to take a pill to regulate a chemical imbalance. They need to be encouraged to tolerate not like but put up with these uncomfortable feelings. In so doing the child learns that he or she are more than the disorganizing feelings they hate to feel.
As the child learns to master these uncomfortable feelings it directly leads to plugging in the experience of trust, hope, faith, feeling loved, and all contributing to the increasing capacity to persist or endure in the midst of formidable internal and external pressures.
The operational definition of a sold self is the person’s (baby or adult) to feeling something solid at their core which is able to remain solid in the midst of internal or external confusion. This capacity to bear normal pressures of daily life is the equivalent of a “grounded” spirituality.
If these ideas are of interest to you I invite you to go to my web site gibbsonline.com and press the theories tab. There are a number of papers I have written on this subject.