Saturday Evening

I finally got to spend some time at the garden.  I have several plots at a community garden in my area and was so happy to see everyone.  Casey (my son), and I took it at our own pace and blew bubbles, and played in the water.  He is starting high school and still wants to do things with Mom.  High five.  I was able to get some sun,  a good time was had and yes we have to go out again tomorrow and do some real planting.  Every year I start plants indoors and every year I swear it is the last year.  This years crops will have alittle of everything, Zuccini and green pappers and egg plant and pumpkins to name a few. 

One of the kids whose parents have been gardening at the community garden plots came to me and asked me why I looked so pale and weak, her parents scolded her.  I took her by the hand and Casey and I sat down ane told her I was very ill, with cancer.  She asked if it could rub off and I said no.  Another child wondered into the conversation and soon Casey and I were sitting with about 6 kids.  They asked me all sorts of questions...Does it hurt?  Well yes it is painful.  Are you afraid?  I was but not so much as before.  When are you going to die?  I told them I hoped not from this and I was not sure.  What happens after you die?  I will go to live with God and her response was say hi to my Grandma.  One by one the parents all stopped over to appologize and say thank you.

I understand why I never really wanted to talk to my kids about death.  I wanted to sheild them, and yest when our first hamster died we went over it.  Imagine not knowing what happens after death.  I guess I have absolute faith because it never occrued to me there was any other alternative.  I can never remember not knowing God.

Samantha's trip was fantastic and Casey and I shared the most wonderful day.  Today I cried happy tears, he and I were so happy and blowng bubbles beats eating any day of the weak!