I finally got to spend some time at the garden. I have several plots at a community garden in my area and was so happy to see everyone. Casey (my son), and I took it at our own pace and blew bubbles, and played in the water. He is starting high school and still wants to do things with Mom. High five. I was able to get some sun, a good time was had and yes we have to go out again tomorrow and do some real planting. Every year I start plants indoors and every year I swear it is the last year. This years crops will have alittle of everything, Zuccini and green pappers and egg plant and pumpkins to name a few.
One of the kids whose parents have been gardening at the community garden plots came to me and asked me why I looked so pale and weak, her parents scolded her. I took her by the hand and Casey and I sat down ane told her I was very ill, with cancer. She asked if it could rub off and I said no. Another child wondered into the conversation and soon Casey and I were sitting with about 6 kids. They asked me all sorts of questions...Does it hurt? Well yes it is painful. Are you afraid? I was but not so much as before. When are you going to die? I told them I hoped not from this and I was not sure. What happens after you die? I will go to live with God and her response was say hi to my Grandma. One by one the parents all stopped over to appologize and say thank you.
I understand why I never really wanted to talk to my kids about death. I wanted to sheild them, and yest when our first hamster died we went over it. Imagine not knowing what happens after death. I guess I have absolute faith because it never occrued to me there was any other alternative. I can never remember not knowing God.
Samantha's trip was fantastic and Casey and I shared the most wonderful day. Today I cried happy tears, he and I were so happy and blowng bubbles beats eating any day of the weak!