by Stephanie C.
Member since:
May 28, 2007

Men (spouses in general I guess)

June 07, 2007 06:27 PM UTC
views: 0 | comments: 12

No offense to the men in the room, I just happen to be married to one and he is driving me NUTS today! It seems I am always the one to give in when he doesn't want to do something. Yes, he has Alzheimers, but it is not to the point that he cant understand my feelings, he simply disregards them if he doesn't agree. He has always been somewhat like this, but I am easy going so I don't get too worked up. However, for some reason tonight it bothered me and I snapped. He seems a little better now, maybe every once in awhile I need to just tell him, what do you think ?

Comments: 12

Brent K. Jun 7, 2007, 6:32pm UTC
Just have a nice talk. And dont yell at eachother. If you start to yell cacth yourself. and if he does. just say please dont yell, and if he responds with a rude comment or keeps yelling just go do somthing else.
William M. Jun 7, 2007, 6:45pm UTC
Without knowing you both well, I would be afraid to give advice.
Good question! Josh acts like this quite often and can't use an ailing mine as an excuse! He's just male!
Rob Appell Jun 7, 2007, 6:48pm UTC
Please don't get mad at him. Though he may not be in more advanced stages of Alzheimers yet, it does affect memory and reasoning very early in its onset. There are things he'll do that he doesn't mean to. It's just his mind not functioning properly through no fault of his own. Unintentional things happen that are beyond his control. I'm not an expert on this subject nor do I understand everything. Connections just aren't being made in his brain like they used to. My father suffered from Alzheimers for many years before it finally claimed his life. It was horrible seeing him go downhill and lose himself until his brain finally forgot how to keep his organs functioning and keep him alive. He suffered for well over 10 years, but in the end, once things started shutting down, he was gone within 12 hours.
Lisa Frost Bailey Jun 7, 2007, 6:55pm UTC
Talking is always the best solution. You can stand up for your feelings, without having to resort to fighting. You sound like you know what is best. You don't have to always give in to something. Keep in mind his illness, but don't let him run over you because of it. I don't want to say to much, because I don't know all of your situation. You can take one step at a time.
Stephanie C. Jun 7, 2007, 7:20pm UTC
My daughter was here. SHe and her dad are close. She can talk to him and in a minute he sees her point of view. She did it again today. It always amazes me the way they are. She says it is because she can be somewhat removed by not living here.
Janet "Jax" B. Jun 7, 2007, 7:36pm UTC
I guess you just need to get a way once in a while...it will make you calmer .

A friend's husband has Parkingson's, and he is driving her nuts too.
Lisa J Jun 7, 2007, 9:23pm UTC
Stephanie, I'm with everyone else, though I can tell you one thing I learned about arguments - always hold each other's hands when in a discussion that is very important. You cannot yell at someone if you're holding their hand - you have to let go. Don't ask me why, but it's true.
Wendy M. Jun 7, 2007, 11:04pm UTC
Stephanie-
Communication and understanding will take you farther than letting your feelings stepped on. I've lived with a man who continually disregarded my thoughts and feelings...it's no fun for sure. I can't even say how many times I dissolved into tears. Being able to talk to him, as well as to others is essential to your well-being. Venting can be a very good thing at times...if handled appropriately.

Alzheimer's makes it even harder to deal with....my grandmother died with it and my mother is getting closer to it every day. Behavior, mood and mentality changes are disturbing to put it mildly. Hang in there.
Bonnie S. Jun 8, 2007, 9:17pm UTC
I don't know how you feel, my husband doesn't have alzheimers but I have to raise my voice once in awhile for him to pay attention to me. I think you should try talking to him about your feelings, I wish you the best :)
Laura C. Jun 8, 2007, 9:40pm UTC
Mine has ADD - talking ALL THE TIME about Everything is the only way we stay together.

Join the Conversation
Chime in! Become a Gather member to comment.
Already a member? Sign in
top
 
Gather | Friends | Groups | Share
About Gather | Engagement Marketing | Gather Points | Advertise on Gather | Gather Press | Privacy | Terms of Service | Community Guidelines
Books | Business | Celebs | Entertainment | Family | Food | Giveaways | Health | Money | Moms | News | Politics | Sports | Style | Technology | Travel | Writing
Version , "Zach"; Copyright © 2012 Gather Inc. All rights reserved.