She's his girlfriend...although she doesn't know it, probably. It is absolutely not o.k. He's attracted to her, he knows he's attracted to her, and he should know better. This is the kind of situation where the man cheats and then justifies it by saying, "We were only friends. It just sort of happened. " Happened because he actively set up situations that made it more likely. If I was the wife I would put and end to this crap right now. Unless he's not worth keeping, then start collecting boxes for his shit. Because he won't pack up and move out on his own. She'll have to throw him out.
I have to agree with Steve. It may be okay but depends on the people. It could be questionable but also innocent. I am a hugger and hug everyone, single or married. Doesn't matter. If I know them, they're getting a hug. LOL
It's all in the situation. A hug and even a kiss can be very innocent. My son's friends who we have known for 22 years all hug me and kiss me on the cheek. Doesn't mean they want to do me. I am a hugging person also.
It depends on the intentions. If he has a true friendship with this woman and it's part of their normal interactions, then it's no big deal. However, the other important question is, would his wife be upset about it?
Its just an excuse to cop a feel! The last married male friend I had was a hugger. He later tried to get me to do it with him by giving me a sad story about how his wife ignored him. yeah right
You know after giving this some thought, I kind of have to ALMOST change my opinion. There are people that are just plain pigs. If this is his way of getting her into the sack, he's a pig. She should run quickly in the opposite direction when she sees him coming her way and let him know she has no interest in a married man. If she's leading him on, she falls in the same catagory of swine as he does.
I think it depends,if the hug is simple and doesn't last long then it is from friends ship. I am a hugger and I hug men and women when I greet them in church so I see nothing wrong in a hug no matter male female orsingle or married we all need to feel loved!
Why not...I am a married woman who is always getting a hug from some male friends..as long as there is trust in your marriage...lol...I just came back from a 3 day trip with two guys!!...and my husband was home- not to worry is all platonic.
I guess it would depend on the situation and the relationship he has with his wife. Around here we're a touchy feely bunch. I have single friends and family and they hug on Josh all the time. Josh has single friends and family and I hug on them all the time I have male friends and Josh has female friends. My best friend in the whole world is a guy, and Josh thinks nothing of it, if he walks in the door and finds us cuddled up on the couch sharing a blanket watching a movie or on the rare occassion falling asleep like that. We are comfortable in our relationship. I trust him, he trusts me. Better yet, life is too short for me to worry all the time about whether or not he's cheating because my worrying about it isn't going to change that fact.
Ok well if its in an office with nobody else around.. Then Heck NO....he is doing it to touch her to smell her and to fell her near. In this situation no its not ok. He probably wishes that it was more than a hug at that point. But not being a man im not truly sure what runs through their minds! So just my opinion. However if its a married woman it would probably be more ok than a man. Why its a double standard I am not sure however men have different reasons for things than women do :)
LOL Lora, just thinking of a guy I worked with after I posted my first comment. Everyone thought he was such a sweetheart. Hugged every woman he could get his hands on. Married, had 2 kids, sweetheart of a husband. Would bring his wife in for lunches, send her flowers for no reason, we all loved her, too. THEN a girl came in the office, he hugged her, then they started talking, then lunches, then she left her husband and he left his wife and they hooked up. We found out he had had numerous affairs and was fired from his former job because of endless flirting and 'harrassment'. THAT's why I sort of changed my mind.
If it's innocent, then I stand by my first comment. Am I allowed to do that? Oh, yeah, I'm a woman. It's my prerogative to change my mind. :)
My rule is to never do or say anything I wouldn't do in front of my wife. I have had many lady friends that I was close to that I would give a greeting or goodbye hug. It's probably even OK if you have some of those normal fantasies that all people have, as long as you don't act on them. The hug should be kept brief and minimal "body" contact. I wouldn't ever do it in a private location. I have never cheated in marriage and feel those that do will continue those habits regardless of who their current partner. And if I feel the woman tense up at all I immediatly back off.
About the pair talking... 80-90% of communication is body language-you should be able to tell intent by observing. If on the phone..guilty parties will usually try to find a private place or disconnect quickly. Peoples voices change when "hitting on" someone. Both hard to prove but you will know.
WOW! Interesting question and responses. Being a "hugger" myself, there are many married guys in our crowd I might be inclined to hug as a greeting, goodbye or to show support in rough times. I have some trouble with the asking part though, so I have to say in this case that it is not all right.
I guess my question would be why he would need a hug from a single female friend rather then his wife...........I would have to know reason before I give an opinion. If she is back from a trip or leaving for a trip, sure an innocent hug....but if it is a hug in comfort, that often leads to other things. No way then.
I think there is no problem with a married man hugging anybody. Hugging should be seen as a sign of affection in a friendly way and not at all in a sexual way.
It all depends on the reason behind the request. Some people are just natural huggers and there is no hidden motive involved. Others just seek to satiate their lust without repercussion. If someone such as the wife is truly uncomfortable with it, then it should'n't be done
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Comments: 36
My son's friends who we have known for 22 years all hug me and kiss me on the cheek. Doesn't mean they want to do me.
I am a hugging person also.
If it's innocent, then I stand by my first comment. Am I allowed to do that? Oh, yeah, I'm a woman. It's my prerogative to change my mind. :)
Sometimes, a hug is just a hug. Others.......
80-90% of communication is body language-you should be able to tell intent by observing. If on the phone..guilty parties will usually try to find a private place or disconnect quickly. Peoples voices change when "hitting on" someone.
Both hard to prove but you will know.
He is only asking for trouble!
Go home and hug your wife!!!