My true friend

In 1986 I met a guy. We were in the same class at the first college I attended and if I remember correctly he used to nudge me when I fell asleep. (Not the most admirable time in my life… hey, that’s sometimes what happens when a 17-year-old goes to college.) His continual monitoring of my class-time naps prompted conversation, joking, sharing and later a lifelong friendship. Honestly, when I met him I would have never guessed that 21 years later we would still be friends.

Over the years I have experienced quite a few difficult and challenging times. Of which I’m sure anyone else would have been driven to insanity. Not only has he remained supportive, but he has listened to my ranting, ravings, emotional outbursts, triumphs, victories and my most recent devastating, life-changing experiences and feelings. Unfortunately, I don’t think that I’ve been as good a friend to me as he’s been to me: emotionally and materially.

This past week I needed to call my friend because of some intense feelings and the sudden, five-week early birth of my fourth child. But I didn’t call. I knew just hearing his voice would result in a flow of emotions including tears, yelling, sobbing and the like. I thought in order to maintain my dignity and hold onto a little calmness that I wouldn’t call so instead I sent a long, drawn out email that not only listed the many faults of some of my supposed friends, but the craziness that is going around in my head.

His response was as calm as ever… and as supportive as ever. And he even asked if I wanted the pep talk instead of just giving it to me. One of the things I told him was how extremely disappointed I was that my “friends” had not been by with a meal, some flowers, a card or even just a visit to do a little laundry, wash a dish or see if there was anything that needed to be done. I mean, it isn’t everyday that I deliver a baby five weeks early and need the additional help of some outside sources.

Not even two days later a man came to my door with a priority mail envelope. I opened it to find the most perfect card, which brought tears to my eyes.  Along with three gift cards: two to help out with the new baby or whatever I need and one for my teenage daughter who he loves like his own.

Imagine my surprise when hours later a flower delivery arrived – the most beautiful arrangement of flowers that I’ve seen in a while. The flowers were from him with a card that said, “Congratulations!”

As tears brimmed my eyes I realized that once again my friend has touched my heart, calmed my nerves, provided some resources, and was non-judgmental, loving and understanding all in one swoop. I knew if he didn’t live so far away that he’d be at my door doing what he can to make my life easier.

What have I done to deserve such a wonderful friend? … He’s one of the few good things/people in my life. Actually I’ve done nothing to deserve him. In fact, I feel like my life is just crappy and so many things are going wrong that I’m sure I must have done something extremely terrible to have this lot in life. BUT what’s amazing is 21 years ago I met a man who is the most loving, caring and thoughtful person I’ve ever known. It actually has nothing to do with me and everything to do with how wonderful a person he is. All I can do now is say “thanks!” It’s not enough, but it’s all I have for now.

“Thank you for being such a wonderful friend to me… I don’t deserve you!”