March4Marci - Honoring a fallen friend

My friend Marci was a great and courageous woman.  She was the mother of two beautiful girls with special needs.  Her oldest daughter was born with autism and her youngest was born premature and has developmental delays.  It was hard for her to accept the diagnosis of autism as every mother hopes that their child is “perfect” and “normal”.  She researched and learned about autism and tried to find the right person and people to help her help her daughter. In becoming the mother and advocate for her daughter, she found her courage and her voice.  She was becoming the woman that she always had aspired to become. 

Finding her courage and using her voice was not easy.  Marci’s husband was not involved in the lives of his children and was inattentive to Marci’s needs.  Marci was a single parent while being married.  Her husband was absent even through his presence in their lives.  That did not stop Marci from going on with her life.  She developed friendships with woman who helped her find her “true self”.  They brought out the best in her and gave her a chance to be Marci and leave the “mom of an autistic child” at home with the girls.  She was gaining an identity that did not include being someone’s wife.  She realized that she did not need this man to define her or even help her with the children.  He had already failed in that aspect.

She gained enough courage to leave at least twice.  The third time she would not be so lucky. On October 23, 2006, Marci’s husband brutally attacked her and murdered her.  He called 911 three minutes after calling his brother, a lawyer, for advice.  The paramedics arrived and took Marci to the hospital.  She was placed on life support and was unresponsive.  Her parents made the heart wrenching decision to withdraw life support.  On October 26, 2007 Marci died from injuries she sustained during the attack.  She was only 31 years old.

As she lay in the hospital, I had an idea to honor Marci.  It was to be called Marci’s March.  On Sunday, May 20, 2007 at Brush High School, where  Marci was a high school history teacher, we held the first annual March 4 Marci – March to End Domestic Violence.  We had over 150 participants and raised over $5000.00.  That money will establish a domestic violence education program at Brush High School and will also aid the Domestic Violence Center of Cleveland.   It was a chance to honor a beloved friend and continue her life’s work of educating others.  Unfortunately, her life is the lesson we teach others. 

The loss of Marci has a left a hole in all of out hearts.  However, through the March we get to honor her life, her spirit, her courage, and her voice.  She may have died on that sad day in October, but her voice still lives on in each of us and in her March.