My daughter often plays with the neighborhood kids. Her favorite friend is a girl, who is fourteen, and two years older than her. Her little brother, who is ten, is a terror. Several years ago, he would always hit my daughter. Due to circumstances that occured in my home, any time someone got hit the police were called, and charges were pressed. When the boy hit my daughter she would freak out due to other trauma that she suffered. I had to go to speak to the father and explain that I would not allow his son to hit my daughter. I further explained that I did not find it acceptable in the first place, but that due to the rules in our house, I would have to call the police. It gave a clear message to all involved that there was zero tolerance for abuse against women of any age. The father was very polite to me and understood. He talked with his son, and things seemed to quiet down. He still has a horrible mouth on him, but at least he kept his hands to himself, until yesterday.
He started verbally abusing her yesterday, and she went home. He followed her, and his mouth kept running. He got up to our porch, and continued to verbally harrass her. She asked him to leave several times, yet that just seemed to make his mouth worse. She calmly took him by the hand and started to lead him off of the property. He turned around and smacked her. She had a red welt in the shape of a hand on her. She was shocked, and called me to the front of the house. I talked again with the boy and explained that I would not allow him to hit her. She did nothing to provoke it. It was not in self defense. It was just pure and simple abuse and battery. I gave him a warning, since it has been over a year since he has hit her, but it will be his last. I swear that I will call the police next time. I have done it before, and I will do it again.
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Comments: 16
The other thing that you need to teach your daughter is that SHE needs to be responsible for turning away and walking away from the boy. I doubt he would have followed her in the house. She should go on inside and have an adult handle it. Although she's 12, the fact that she is dealing with a younger child is going to put her at risk if she does anything about the situation and besides, what most women should learn from the time they are little is "If he hits you, leave, walk away, and don't put yourself in that situation again." Unfortunately, it may not be a woman's fault if the man hits her, but it is her fault if she stays and let's him do it again. I say this as a battered wife who finally figured out that I couldn't expect anyone else to keep helping me if I continually put myself in harms way. That's foolishness and selfishness. We, as women have to be willing to remove ourselves from anyone, male or female, who hits, kicks, pinches, etc. And, having said that, I better also explain that teaching your daughters these things works. I had two daughters in that abusive marriage. One was beaten up "a little bit" almost every week for 4 years, the other was never hit until she was 16 months when she defied her father and he literally tried to kill her. When those issues came up with friends, I always taught my daughter, "I don't care if you are having fun or are with another friend. When there is any violence of any kind, you leave." As adults, they have practiced what they have learned. They have been hit by different guys and they always leave the first time, every time. So, really, it does work!
Good luck with it. It's a long road to recovery, but you guys can do it. Just keep stressing to your daughter she's not a victim. She's a capable young lady who can deal with life.
I'd file a restraining order against the little jerk, if it were me, I think...
step-mother. I would go into the courts -- get a retaining order. OH' I might add my former just sat and watch...He is a titan of industry. So, they got away with everything, until his recent divorce. He disowned my child for over 8 years -- wrote him a 3 page letter stating "He could no longer be a member of the Stemberg family because you spoke to Mitt Romney about my wife hitting you...I am writing a book on child abuse...it can & does happen to everyone. Protect your child. blessings, mo-xy
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U wishing you both laughter