At The Table

I'm a little annoyed tonight. I think some of you will relate and others will say "what's the big deal". It's not a huge deal but an eye opener.

Today, I was asked to watch a young boy (about 11). This young boy is a complete stranger to me as this friend that asked the favor of me, is doing another friend a favor. I agreed only because my significant other was home. Normally, I would have said no and been firm about it. I have a no babysitting rule usually no exceptions. People these days no matter how innocent something is, take things the wrong way. The last thing I would want is someone saying I did anything. Not taking any chances.

Today goes by. I checked on the young boy from time to time. Made sure he knew I was here and available if he needed anything. Later this afternoon, I began preparing dinner. Reminded the boy of things he had been asked to do and asked my significant other to set the table. He started going to the table with two plates and I said "I'll be eating too". He looked at me and commented that he knew, he was going downstairs to eat. I told him no. If he couldn't eat at the table, he wasn't eating. Few "kind" words were mumbled. Then, they sat at the table. one had began with the bread, the other with the main dish. Thought to myself "thanks for waiting" but I didn't. Sat down with a smile. My S.O. had his chair pushed back with an attitude, so I did the glare to get him to at least act like an adult. Plates got filled. We began to eat, no one talked. Ok, I don't know this boy, neither does my s.o., he's here with strangers. I knew it wasn't exactly comfortable for anyone. I began asking questions. Which got the talking going. That's when I noticed it! I noticed elbows on the table!!

I wonder where manners in this world have gone? I'm only 32 but I know we were taught family style meals with manners. I would hope and like to think I will pass that on to my child. Maybe it's a man / boy thing or I am just cranky. It irked me today. Ok, that and the fact that one by one they both left me eating by myself. Actually I didn't mind that. I just cleared the table and did the dishes. Then came to all of you to share my dinner story.

Do you eat family style meals at the table? If you don't, where do you eat?

At your meals do you try to correct your childs manners?

Comments: 15

queen.susan . May 20, 2007, 9:48pm EDT

No children in our house, but my husband and I do
eat together at the table each day.

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Gorgeous Gabby, a Gather Geeky Gal, and The Giz May 20, 2007, 9:49pm EDT

As I write, my son is laying across my bed with his face buried in the laptop eating some breaded chicken fingers and getting crumbs on the pillows. I'm eating the same thing here at the computer desk, hoping that with each bite I don't drip ranch dressing down into the keyboard. My dog is sooooo attentive to my every move that if I drop a crumb she's pushing my feet out of the way.

Manners? What are those?

On a serious note, we better mind our P&Qs at my mother-in-laws table or she lets us know what's up! I don't see any reason to stand on ceremony at home when it's just us, that is, as long as we know the rules when we go out, and we do!

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Jill~Sexy Back~ V. May 20, 2007, 9:53pm EDT

Our kitchen table is kind of a "storage area" these days as space here is limited. However, my plan is to clear the table this week so we can all sit together and eat. For now, until the table is cleared, we eat on the couch.

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Jeff R. May 20, 2007, 9:54pm EDT

We do correct our children's table manners!

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Rob Appell May 20, 2007, 9:59pm EDT

Growing up, we sat and were served our foods...with proper manners...or we got swatted or back handed. Being single with no kids, I eat at my desk in front of the conuter or in front of the TV. My dining table is for the cat to walk on...I've used it to eat at only 3 times in over two years.

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Toni T. May 20, 2007, 10:00pm EDT

We rarely eat at the table, usually it's a tray on the lap in the living room watching T.V. Since dh was a truck driver with wierd hours for most of our life, the only consistant family dinners were Sunday suppers. That was enough to teach the kids manners and they do have their own family supper at the table most of the time... and their kids do know their table manners. But since my daughter's kids are getting older and busier, there are less family suppers in their house, and in the summer the meals are often more of a picnic out on the patio by the pool. I have never been all that picky about perfect etiquette, and elbows on the table never bothered me...shhh, I do it myself.

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☀ Aunt Shanny May 20, 2007, 10:28pm EDT

We always ate meals together as a family when I was growing up. My parents never worried about things like elbows on the table. They just wanted me to eat a good meal.

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Sonia M. May 20, 2007, 11:24pm EDT

Growing up we all ate at the table and taught manners by my parents....yes, no elbows on table was one of them and the hand not holding the utensil was always on your lap........
That is how I brought my children up also, and it was no big deal, because they were taught from the time they were old enough to sit at the table with the adults...

It was always a pleasure to me to hear their friends' parents comment on how nice it was to have my children for meals at their home and how beautiful their manners were.

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Sue * May 21, 2007, 12:19am EDT

When my kids were young, we did eat at the table...and manners were taught. Now that it is just the two of us, we eat in the living room...

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donna h. May 21, 2007, 12:42am EDT

We all eat together at the table, but no one cares about the elbows!..and when it comes to these "rules" I always wondered who made them up and why would elbows on the table be terrible.... heck my husband is sometimes throwing food at my 17 & 14 year old. With the dogs looking jealous.

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donna h. May 21, 2007, 12:51am EDT

..ps it is not large amounts of food! crumb size...

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Nana to Seven Cutiepies May 21, 2007, 10:43am EDT

I'm "old fashioned" in that department. My DH and I always eat dinner at the table, but he has zero manners. I don't think he was taught any. My children, (first marriage) were all taught proper manners and grew up eating at the table as a family and carry on this tradition to this day and manners are taught. I have found that very few families do this any more and like some have commented, what's the difference. I have heard people say that meal time should be enjoyed and no one notices manners any more, but old habits are hard to break and only those of us who were brought up with table etiquette really notice.

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Cheryl W. May 21, 2007, 11:32am EDT

The reason so many children have no table manners is because family mealtimes are slowly becoming a thing of the past. When I was a child we ate as a family every single night at the dinner table. No exceptions. These days, it seems everyone is going in a hundred different directions. Both parents are working. Fast food has become dinner for way too many families because everyone is so tired. Family mealtimes are something that I have tried so hard to keep in my family, for it was one of my happiest childhood memories. But for some reason, it rarely happens other than holidays or very special occasions. Where do we eat? Wherever. That's what it seems like and I absolutely hate it. I am still striving though.......

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Karolyn Q. May 28, 2007, 5:49am EDT

We have a three year old and some meals are eaten at the table but there are some that we eat in the living room. We pretty much always eat as a family though.

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Comments: 15

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