THE LEMON BASKET: THE BEST & WORST OF THE WEB
#419 MAY 18TH, 2007
Copyright 2007 FRANCIS DIMENNO
http://www.dimenno.gather.com
http://www.dimenno.blog-city.com
dimenno@gmail.com
TYSON QUOTES
Tyson Quotes
"I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into
Cartilage."
"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."
"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."
"I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all."
"[He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse.' I'm not a recluse."
"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My
defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I
want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"
"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."
"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want
to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their
children."
"This is my career. I have children to raise. I have to retaliate. He
butted me. Look at me. My kids will be scared of me."
To Razor Ruddock: "You're sweet. I'm going to make sure you kiss me
good with those big lips. I'm gonna make you my girlfriend."
On Tyrell Biggs: "He was screaming like my wife."
"Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I
would rip her head off."
"I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I
returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I
rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right
hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile
retard."
"I take my hand off to him."
"I try to catch him right on the tip of the nose, because I try to
push the bone into the brain."
"How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills? It
makes me angry."
"My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle
tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even
attempt to enter my realm."
"I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then
you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me.
And only then will you feel my pain."
[To a female reporter] "It's no doubt I am going to win this fight and
I feel confident about winning this fight. I normally don't do
interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't
talk anymore... Unless you want to, you know."
"If I take this camera and put it in your face for 20 years, I don't
know what you might be. You might be a homosexual if I put that camera
on you since you were 13 years old. I've been on that camera since I
was 13 years old."
"All praise is to Allah, I'll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were
here I'd fight him too."
Source:
http://kjkolb.tripod.com/homepage/miketysonquotes.html
ANNALS OF LOCAL MUSIC 3: THE ANIMAL FRIENDS
The Animal Friends were geared at what we now call the 'tweener' set,
but their songs, for all their lyric simplicity, showed a remarkable
rythmic sophistication. "Baby, Baby," from 1969, was probably their
best-loved hit.
BABY BABY
Baby, baby,
I mean you no harm
They say this is wrong,
But I'm gonna do it
Been in love so deep
All I need is your loving
And I won't go
But I've gotta be working
And if the galaxies burn
I love the fire
When I'm with you
Just open to me
And I'll get all I want
My heart again
Baby, baby,
I mean you no harm
When the world dawns
Take away all the sky
The sun hangin' in space,
Doesn't matter, come on
Your love would satisfy
I need, need you, baby
Because your love rules the day
I need, need you, baby
Ooh baby, I wanna kiss you
Bo bo do,
La la lala la la la la la la la la
All night, Girl,
Ooh Keep on
Push it on me
It's all I need
1*SALUTATION
ANIMAL CLIPS
PINKY THE CAT
http://homepage.mac.com/whysheep/iMovieTheater6.html
TALKING CAT
http://youtube.com/watch?v=964uCtgsDoE
TALKING PUG
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FrmxZpZWd6k&mode=related&search=
PUG BOWLING
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zcKOQrz19Yg
EXCITED PUG
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MLtq7Bz9wH4&mode=related&search=
2*REFERENCE
GAUGE IMPACT OF 10K NUKE ON YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD
http://nuclearterror.org
3*HUMOR
YOU HAVE BAD TASTE IN MUSIC
http://www.youhavebadtasteinmusic.com/
4*NOVELTY
LIVE STREAM OF PHIL SPECTOR TRIAL
http://ktla.trb.com/
5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
THE NAZI-HIPPIE CONNECTION
The Nazi movement drew many of its members and much of its totemic
imagery from the Wanderjungen, back-to-nature movement of the pre WW-I
era in Germany. There are eerie similarities to the totalitarian
instincts of both the Nazis and of the hippie movement--amphetamine
abuse, mass rallies, "kill the pigs", etc. etc.
Hitler was an initiates of occultic practices: yoga, Tibetanism,
hypotism....Believed in the Law of Karma and reincarnation....Believed
they had evolved into a new/superior species by means of `spiritual
disciplines', `consciousness evolution', and a new form of
consciousness....hostile to orthodox and fundamentalist
Christianity...Believed in magical powers of crystals and
quartz....Believed the imagination could create reality more real than
the world of sense....Believed in the Pineal Eye or Third Eye. Used
drugs to achieve transcendent consciousness.... Believed in the
Akashic Record....Envisioned the elimination of all national
boundaries and the creation of a global government.... Lights, colors,
circles, triangles, perfumes were merely aids to concentrating the
will into a blazing stream of pure energy....Stressed outdoor life,
natural foods...claimed to live harmoniously with nature and
biology....
6* DAILY UTILITY
MURDER ON A SUNDAY MORNING
http://www.docurama.com/productdetail.html?productid=NV-NVG-5603-NVG-9540
7*CARTOON
WEEPING GORILLA
Choke. Modern life makes me feel so alone
Go on, ask me about my marriage.
I have some unresolved childhood issues
I can't believe they fired me
She gets the kids and the house. I get the car
I guess people change
Everyone said I should get Windows 95
Why do pets have to die?
I like country music. It tells the truth
Some days are better than others
What do you mean you need more space?
The garage thinks it's the clutch
I hate my body
Can we hear that Radiohead track just once more?
If I only understood what women wanted...
This should have been my time
Yes, I'm in telemarketing sales...
We probably expect too much of George Lucas...
I guess all the Waltons must be dead by now
Who remaindered the book of love?
Commitment?uh...yeah..that sounds great
I mean,"Forty." It's just a number, after all...
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault
Sometimes I hurt myself
Well, no. I didn't vote for him either...
Why can't everybody just, y'know, get along?
Why are you so bitter?
Oh, man, that was deep.
Then I told the protestor, "yeah", the fur's real. so What?"
Why is there spinach?
Tony the tiger looks...different.
What hurt me most, though, was the pain
Both sides have their good points
Why do good things happen to bad people
There's always Something
http://members.shaw.ca/gorillagallery/myweb2/weepbio2.jpg
8*PRESCRIPTION
FEMALE PEDOPHILES
http://crime.about.com/od/sex/ig/female_pedophiles/index.htm
9* RUMOR PATROL
JIM THOMPSON SPOILERS
In Now and On Earth, the narrator doesn't take the job he is offered.
In The Killer Inside Me, the psycho sheriff gets killed.
In The Getaway, Doc and his wife are trapped in an expensive Mexican
hideout they can never leave.
In the Grifters the guy's mother kills him.
In the Criminal an innocent victim is railroaded by an unscrupulous reporter.
In The Alcoholics the doctor manages to keep the clinic open and cures
the psycho virgin nurse with a good rogering.
In the Kill-Off the bandstand owner kills the Doctor's mulatto son,
his daughter, and possibly the old woman.
10*LAGNIAPPE
Once, when Lincoln was telling one of his stories at a cabinet meeting
during the darkest days of the Civil War, he was criticized by a
cabinet member for telling humorous stories in such terrible times.
Lincoln replied, "If I didn't tell stories at times like these, I
think I should die." Then he asked the cabinet to read the draft of a
document he had been preparing for months. It was the Emancipation
Proclamation.
Source:
http://www.executive-speaker.com/spch0020.html
11*DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF
OTHER MEDIA
THE PIT BULL MENACE
It's funny how the same topics keep coming back, and it's interesting
(to me) to trace them back to ground zero.
It seems that around 1984, the Herald was running sensationalistic
articles about the menace of pit bulls, and indignant criminals and
aficionados were writing in refutation: "this noble breed, bla bla
ba."
I trace the whole drunk driving thing to the 15 year old who got
likkered up on Chistmas Day of 1981 and borrowed the old man's rocket
sled and plowed into a pedestrian or something. Next thing you know,
drunk driving was all over the news. Even to the extent that the
staties were putting uip roadblocks and telling boozehounds to "blow
into the hat".
And my question is this--don't people ever get tired of being treated
like gullible trout just waiting for the hook?
326. CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE
EBONICS
In the 1920s (hell, right up to the 1960s), across various media
(television, radio, movies, comic strips, comic books, phonograph
records) you could readily find depictions of various ethnic groups
and the way they spoke. They usually went something like this:
Irish: Shur an' begorra.
Italian: Atsa too much!
Hispanic: I theenk I better theenk...
Swede: I bane...
German: Vot you vant...
It's fascinating how we now seem to be having the very same arguments
about immigration and assimilation that we were having 80-120 years
ago.
It's also interesting how the same reactionaries persist in speading
divisive racial and class-based rhetoric in the guise of talking sense
to the American people.
Incidentally, the above-named reactionaries seem to be smart enough to
exploit people's fear of the unknown and exotic, but not smart enough
to turn their intellects toward ways in which a diverse population
might be encouraged to live in mutual tolerance and harmony.
I'm curently reading two very interesting books. One is called WORKING
TOWARD WHITENESS: HOW AMERICA'S IMMIGRANTS BECAME WHITE by David R.
Roediger (Basic Books 2005) .
I read the first chapter.
It's rather dry.
There are some interesting anecdotes which I hope to mine for future
use. Like the fellow who's accosted in Iowa by a man who asks him
where he's from. "Pennsylvania" says the man. "They've got a lot of
immigrants there," relies the Iowan. "We don't like that sort around
here."
I'm hoping to discover just when it was that most immigrants turned
"white". Roediger flat-out states it's at or after the third
generation; prior to that, immigrants are considered 'provisionally
white'.
Anyway, this whole ebonics debate is really quite trivial. Nobody
seems to want to talk about how entire towns are still 99.99% white,
and plan to stay that way.
the other book is BURIED IN THE BITTER WATERS: THE HIDDEN HISTORY OF
RACIAL CLEANSING IN AMERICA by Ellot Jaspin (Basic Books 2007).
BURIED IN THE BITTER WATERS talks about the racial cleansing of entire
counties, in the South but also in the border states and in the
Midwest. It's a useful companion to SUNDOWN TOWNS, though more
journalistic than historical in its emphasis.
#419 MAY 18TH, 2007
Copyright 2007 FRANCIS DIMENNO
http://www.dimenno.gather.com
http://www.dimenno.blog-city.com
dimenno@gmail.com
TYSON QUOTES
Tyson Quotes
"I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into
Cartilage."
"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."
"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."
"I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all."
"[He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse.' I'm not a recluse."
"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My
defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I
want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"
"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."
"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want
to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their
children."
"This is my career. I have children to raise. I have to retaliate. He
butted me. Look at me. My kids will be scared of me."
To Razor Ruddock: "You're sweet. I'm going to make sure you kiss me
good with those big lips. I'm gonna make you my girlfriend."
On Tyrell Biggs: "He was screaming like my wife."
"Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I
would rip her head off."
"I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I
returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I
rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right
hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile
retard."
"I take my hand off to him."
"I try to catch him right on the tip of the nose, because I try to
push the bone into the brain."
"How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills? It
makes me angry."
"My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle
tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even
attempt to enter my realm."
"I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then
you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me.
And only then will you feel my pain."
[To a female reporter] "It's no doubt I am going to win this fight and
I feel confident about winning this fight. I normally don't do
interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't
talk anymore... Unless you want to, you know."
"If I take this camera and put it in your face for 20 years, I don't
know what you might be. You might be a homosexual if I put that camera
on you since you were 13 years old. I've been on that camera since I
was 13 years old."
"All praise is to Allah, I'll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were
here I'd fight him too."
Source:
http://kjkolb.tripod.com/homepage/miketysonquotes.html
ANNALS OF LOCAL MUSIC 3: THE ANIMAL FRIENDS
The Animal Friends were geared at what we now call the 'tweener' set,
but their songs, for all their lyric simplicity, showed a remarkable
rythmic sophistication. "Baby, Baby," from 1969, was probably their
best-loved hit.
BABY BABY
Baby, baby,
I mean you no harm
They say this is wrong,
But I'm gonna do it
Been in love so deep
All I need is your loving
And I won't go
But I've gotta be working
And if the galaxies burn
I love the fire
When I'm with you
Just open to me
And I'll get all I want
My heart again
Baby, baby,
I mean you no harm
When the world dawns
Take away all the sky
The sun hangin' in space,
Doesn't matter, come on
Your love would satisfy
I need, need you, baby
Because your love rules the day
I need, need you, baby
Ooh baby, I wanna kiss you
Bo bo do,
La la lala la la la la la la la la
All night, Girl,
Ooh Keep on
Push it on me
It's all I need
1*SALUTATION
ANIMAL CLIPS
PINKY THE CAT
http://homepage.mac.com/whysheep/iMovieTheater6.html
TALKING CAT
http://youtube.com/watch?v=964uCtgsDoE
TALKING PUG
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FrmxZpZWd6k&mode=related&search=
PUG BOWLING
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zcKOQrz19Yg
EXCITED PUG
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MLtq7Bz9wH4&mode=related&search=
2*REFERENCE
GAUGE IMPACT OF 10K NUKE ON YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD
http://nuclearterror.org
3*HUMOR
YOU HAVE BAD TASTE IN MUSIC
http://www.youhavebadtasteinmusic.com/
4*NOVELTY
LIVE STREAM OF PHIL SPECTOR TRIAL
http://ktla.trb.com/
5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
THE NAZI-HIPPIE CONNECTION
The Nazi movement drew many of its members and much of its totemic
imagery from the Wanderjungen, back-to-nature movement of the pre WW-I
era in Germany. There are eerie similarities to the totalitarian
instincts of both the Nazis and of the hippie movement--amphetamine
abuse, mass rallies, "kill the pigs", etc. etc.
Hitler was an initiates of occultic practices: yoga, Tibetanism,
hypotism....Believed in the Law of Karma and reincarnation....Believed
they had evolved into a new/superior species by means of `spiritual
disciplines', `consciousness evolution', and a new form of
consciousness....hostile to orthodox and fundamentalist
Christianity...Believed in magical powers of crystals and
quartz....Believed the imagination could create reality more real than
the world of sense....Believed in the Pineal Eye or Third Eye. Used
drugs to achieve transcendent consciousness.... Believed in the
Akashic Record....Envisioned the elimination of all national
boundaries and the creation of a global government.... Lights, colors,
circles, triangles, perfumes were merely aids to concentrating the
will into a blazing stream of pure energy....Stressed outdoor life,
natural foods...claimed to live harmoniously with nature and
biology....
6* DAILY UTILITY
MURDER ON A SUNDAY MORNING
http://www.docurama.com/productdetail.html?productid=NV-NVG-5603-NVG-9540
7*CARTOON
WEEPING GORILLA
Choke. Modern life makes me feel so alone
Go on, ask me about my marriage.
I have some unresolved childhood issues
I can't believe they fired me
She gets the kids and the house. I get the car
I guess people change
Everyone said I should get Windows 95
Why do pets have to die?
I like country music. It tells the truth
Some days are better than others
What do you mean you need more space?
The garage thinks it's the clutch
I hate my body
Can we hear that Radiohead track just once more?
If I only understood what women wanted...
This should have been my time
Yes, I'm in telemarketing sales...
We probably expect too much of George Lucas...
I guess all the Waltons must be dead by now
Who remaindered the book of love?
Commitment?uh...yeah..that sounds great
I mean,"Forty." It's just a number, after all...
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault
Sometimes I hurt myself
Well, no. I didn't vote for him either...
Why can't everybody just, y'know, get along?
Why are you so bitter?
Oh, man, that was deep.
Then I told the protestor, "yeah", the fur's real. so What?"
Why is there spinach?
Tony the tiger looks...different.
What hurt me most, though, was the pain
Both sides have their good points
Why do good things happen to bad people
There's always Something
http://members.shaw.ca/gorillagallery/myweb2/weepbio2.jpg
8*PRESCRIPTION
FEMALE PEDOPHILES
http://crime.about.com/od/sex/ig/female_pedophiles/index.htm
9* RUMOR PATROL
JIM THOMPSON SPOILERS
In Now and On Earth, the narrator doesn't take the job he is offered.
In The Killer Inside Me, the psycho sheriff gets killed.
In The Getaway, Doc and his wife are trapped in an expensive Mexican
hideout they can never leave.
In the Grifters the guy's mother kills him.
In the Criminal an innocent victim is railroaded by an unscrupulous reporter.
In The Alcoholics the doctor manages to keep the clinic open and cures
the psycho virgin nurse with a good rogering.
In the Kill-Off the bandstand owner kills the Doctor's mulatto son,
his daughter, and possibly the old woman.
10*LAGNIAPPE
Once, when Lincoln was telling one of his stories at a cabinet meeting
during the darkest days of the Civil War, he was criticized by a
cabinet member for telling humorous stories in such terrible times.
Lincoln replied, "If I didn't tell stories at times like these, I
think I should die." Then he asked the cabinet to read the draft of a
document he had been preparing for months. It was the Emancipation
Proclamation.
Source:
http://www.executive-speaker.com/spch0020.html
11*DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF
OTHER MEDIA
THE PIT BULL MENACE
It's funny how the same topics keep coming back, and it's interesting
(to me) to trace them back to ground zero.
It seems that around 1984, the Herald was running sensationalistic
articles about the menace of pit bulls, and indignant criminals and
aficionados were writing in refutation: "this noble breed, bla bla
ba."
I trace the whole drunk driving thing to the 15 year old who got
likkered up on Chistmas Day of 1981 and borrowed the old man's rocket
sled and plowed into a pedestrian or something. Next thing you know,
drunk driving was all over the news. Even to the extent that the
staties were putting uip roadblocks and telling boozehounds to "blow
into the hat".
And my question is this--don't people ever get tired of being treated
like gullible trout just waiting for the hook?
326. CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE
EBONICS
In the 1920s (hell, right up to the 1960s), across various media
(television, radio, movies, comic strips, comic books, phonograph
records) you could readily find depictions of various ethnic groups
and the way they spoke. They usually went something like this:
Irish: Shur an' begorra.
Italian: Atsa too much!
Hispanic: I theenk I better theenk...
Swede: I bane...
German: Vot you vant...
It's fascinating how we now seem to be having the very same arguments
about immigration and assimilation that we were having 80-120 years
ago.
It's also interesting how the same reactionaries persist in speading
divisive racial and class-based rhetoric in the guise of talking sense
to the American people.
Incidentally, the above-named reactionaries seem to be smart enough to
exploit people's fear of the unknown and exotic, but not smart enough
to turn their intellects toward ways in which a diverse population
might be encouraged to live in mutual tolerance and harmony.
I'm curently reading two very interesting books. One is called WORKING
TOWARD WHITENESS: HOW AMERICA'S IMMIGRANTS BECAME WHITE by David R.
Roediger (Basic Books 2005) .
I read the first chapter.
It's rather dry.
There are some interesting anecdotes which I hope to mine for future
use. Like the fellow who's accosted in Iowa by a man who asks him
where he's from. "Pennsylvania" says the man. "They've got a lot of
immigrants there," relies the Iowan. "We don't like that sort around
here."
I'm hoping to discover just when it was that most immigrants turned
"white". Roediger flat-out states it's at or after the third
generation; prior to that, immigrants are considered 'provisionally
white'.
Anyway, this whole ebonics debate is really quite trivial. Nobody
seems to want to talk about how entire towns are still 99.99% white,
and plan to stay that way.
the other book is BURIED IN THE BITTER WATERS: THE HIDDEN HISTORY OF
RACIAL CLEANSING IN AMERICA by Ellot Jaspin (Basic Books 2007).
BURIED IN THE BITTER WATERS talks about the racial cleansing of entire
counties, in the South but also in the border states and in the
Midwest. It's a useful companion to SUNDOWN TOWNS, though more
journalistic than historical in its emphasis.
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