I need some advice (even if you tell me I was wrong):
Yesterday at my son's soccer game I had a verbal confrontation with another mother and I am not quite sure why. My husband, 16 year old son and I were at my 11 year old's game. (He plays up on a U12 team) My oldest doesn't know much about soccer. Now, keep in mind that my husband and I are NOT screamers at the game, we don't scream about calls, yell things to the players or even our son. We pretty much sit and say things like "Great ball Jay", "Good try, Ryan" and things like that.
We happened to have a ref. who obviously refs older boys. He was very in control of the game. In fact, he was almost overly authoritative. I don't know how to explain it. It seemed like he had an "I'm in charge and I am going to be a jerk about it attitude". My oldest son, who has auspergers (which means sometimes he says whatever he thinks), was saying things (only to my husband and I) like, "why did he do that?", " he should have called that" , "What was that call?", "Why is #32 still in?" Things like that. My husband said to our oldest , "Michael, you don't know anything about soccer and you don't know any of these parents, you have to keep your comments to yourself." At that point, my husband and I started explaining things. We were carrying on a conversation between the three of us and were NOT loud. I was saying things like "yeah, he should have called that, but maybe he didn't see it." We did question amongst ourselves some calls. We NEVER said anything bad about the other team or their kids or really even the ref . At one point, one of our players pushed one of theirs and wasn't called for it, then when their kid pushed back, he got called. We explained to Michael that it was the right call because when we pushed, the boy didn't lose the ball and kept driving on the goal, but when they pushed, our boy got knocked off the ball. The game went on like that.
I knew that we were sitting next to a parent from the other team, so I made sure that I didn't say ANYTHING about the other team. I do know that at one point, I DID say to my husband, "Their coach keeps yelling 'don't let them push you. Push back' hoping to get a call" . I also told Michael that the reason two of their boys got yellow cards for subbing at the wrong time towards the end of the game was because the ref thought that they were trying to stall and waste time. (That is honestly the worst things I can remember saying)
When the game was over, we had lost 3-2. I said to my husband. "That is a shame, since we scored two of their goals. (Which we had). Their goalie was really good, he looks so old (our son is small and young for his team)" At that point, the woman next to me got really rude and said "That's right. It made the commentary worth it". I kind of shook my head and ignored it. She kept on saying things like "you don't know anything about soccer." "You complained about everything"
At that point I said, "you know, you could have moved. We were sitting here when you came" Then she said "I didn't want to move". I didn't respond and kept packing up the chairs. So then she said "even your husband told you to 'shut up'!"
At that, I had kind of had it I said "Oh no he didn't." I looked at my husband and said "Honey, did you tell me to shut up" My husband said "Oh no, I would NEVER tell you to shut up." I turned to the woman and said "For your information we were talking to our son".
The she said "Well, it must run in the family. You are all stupid"
Now, I HATE being called stupid and I especially HATE someone calling my son names. SO, at that point, I had had it and I said "What a BITCH. You are a bitch" Then, trying to be good mom (really) I made myself walk away. Of course I said "I hope we kick their asses next time" to my husband. (I know I should have not said it and I am sorry that I did). By the time we made it to our team's parents, one of the boys on the other team had been given a red card (two game suspension) for punching one of our boys in the privates when they were walking down the sideline saying "good game". Even my nice, calm, peaceful husband finally said "what do you expect when their parents are a bunch of rednecks?"
I couldn't believe it. The whole end of the game was surreal. The other team won, the game really was a good, clean game, the ref. knew what he was doing (even though he seemed excessive at times) and still their team was the ones acting up after the game. I am STILL kind of shocked. What would you have done?