Mother Memories Are Made Everyday

Our lives are filled with things to do, day-to-day responsibilities as well as passing distractions. The laundry must be done, and the television seems to call to us. We spend time building our careers and sometimes dinner is just another activity to be completed as quickly as possible, so we can move on to the next task. Many women do all of this while rearing children; this lifestyle lends itself to a disconnect between mothers and their children. A while ago, I found myself in a similar mode. I had lots to do, and I was doing much of it to improve the quality of my children's lives. However, I wasn't giving enough of myself to them. I wasn't talking to them as much as I did in the past. I wasn't hanging out with them. I was covering the runs, working on my writing and pulling through for the next day.

I made a choice to return my focus to them, because mother memories are made everyday. My role is not to be my children's friend, but it is important that they know me. I don't want them to begin to discern who I am as adults. That requires that I make an effort to interact with them in meaningful ways, attending field trips, taking them to special events around the city and discussing them afterwards, going to the park, doing some crafts, taking time out to answer my son's tough questions and to begin to gage my daughter's budding interests.  

I'm not perfect. I still snap on occasion, and I often get distracted--I'm a writer and a media junkie. Yet I believe, that if I keep my focus on the fact that our memories are cumulative in nature and that we create some memories as a family. How they remember me and our relationship will be the result of what we did each day, not an epiphany that hits them in adulthood or an unraveling of clues. Instead, our story will be a beautiful narrative replete with adventures and enriching experiences.