Ok, it's a joke a friend emailed me. I freely admit it. I've pasted it right in here. It's not original content.
Letter from a professional guitar player to the "Dear Abby" help column in a
newspaper.
Dear Abby...
I think my wife is cheating on me. I am a working musician and, as you would
expect, travel a lot. I have been noticing strange things happening when I
get home. Her mobile phone rings and she steps outside to answer it or she
says, "I'll call you back later". When I ask her who called she gets
evasive. Sometimes she goes out with friends but comes home late, getting
dropped off around the corner and walking the rest of the way. I once picked
up the extension while she was on the phone and she got very angry. A buddy
of mine plays guitar in a band. He told me that my wife and some guy have
been to his gigs. He wanted to borrow my guitar amp. That's when I got the
idea to find out for myself what was really happening. I said "sure re, you
can use my amp but I want to hide behind it and the gig and see if she comes
into the venue and who she comes in with". He agreed. Saturday night came
and I slipped behind my Marshall JCM800 half stack to get a good view. I
could feel the heat coming off the back of the amp. It was at that moment,
crouching down behind the amp, that I noticed that one of the tubes was not
glowing as bright as the other 3. Is this something I can fix myself or do
need to take it to a technician?
Thanks
Very Concerned.
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Comments: 20
But I can't.
So at least I'll contribute:
What do you call a guy who hangs out all the time with musicians?
A drummer.
How do you know when a chick singer is at the door?
Because she doesn't have the key and she doesn't know when to come in.
Oh year, I own a capacitor tester. I can't quite justify a real audio tech tube tester but I'd like to have one.
I can always feel better by thinking of my friend who owns over 30 guitars. He's left handed so he has to order most of them.
Homeless
-Do you have a flux capacitor?
and
-Do any of your amps go to 11?
Why do violists stand for long periods outside people's houses?
They can't find the key and they don't know when to come in.
What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
The viola holds more beer.
You can tune the violin.
His girlfriend gets a second job.
She holds the light bulb and the world revolves around her.
Do you want fries with that, sir?
What's the difference between a US savings bond and a drummer?
... the savings bond matures and earns money!
If you did you'd know plenty of musician jokes!
For example... What does the Bass Player use for birth control? ... His personality.
(actually Aniko these could refer to any musician... not just the ones specified in each joke)
One to change the lightbulb. Six to stand around and say, "I could do that."