First Chapters Hearing

 Goodman Faces First Chapters Losers Committee

Today, Edgewriter (also known as Eric D. Goodman, that train writer, and in some circles as the author of TRACKS, a novel in stories) faces the Gather First Chapters Losers Committee.

As followers of the contest know, there have been a lot of questions and a bit of controversy surrounding this contest -- and around this entry in particular. The committee’s getting ready to start. Let’s tune in. 

Committee:  Welcome, Mr. Goodman.  Are you ready to proceed?

Eric:  Yes.  Thanks for inviting me.

Committee:   Oh, the pleasure is ours.  In fact, we wish ALL of the contestants could be here with us.

Eric:  Did you have some questions for me?

Committee:  Do we ever.

(The panel members shuffle papers, whisper to one another.)

Committee:  Mr. Goodman, are you, indeed, the author of TRACKS, a novel in stories?

Eric: Yes, I am.

Committee:  And you proceeded to Round Two, as a semi-finalist in the contest?

Eric: Yes, I did.

Committee:  Is it fair to say that you wanted to win the contest?  That you would have done anything in your power to make it to round three?

Eric:  Well, anything within reason.  If I had to do it over I may have spent a little more time marketing TRACKS to potential readers.  I think I let the marketing end of things slide a bit.

Committee:  A yes or no will do.

Eric: Yes.  I wanted to move ahead to round three.

Committee:  And is it true that you cheated your way to the top?

Eric:  No, I did not.

Committee:  Aren’t you an employee of Gather?

Eric:  No, I’m not.  I’m a books correspondent.  I write a weekly column for Gather under the Books Essentials banner.  It’s called Lit Bits, and it’s published every Wednesday.  But I’m not an employee.  More like a freelancer.

Committee:  How did you come about this … job?

Eric:  Gather asked me to serve as a Books Correspondent after reading my literary-related posts.  I posted articles about authors I’ve met, the advice they had to share, literary events, my own writing and advice for writers.  That sort of thing.  The Gather Editorial Team liked what they saw, so they asked me to become an official correspondent.

Committee:  And didn’t you think that was a conflict of interest?

Eric:  No.  In fact, when they approached me about it, the first thing I asked was whether it would interfere with the contest.  The First Chapters contest was important to me, and I would have turned down the correspondent position if I’d known it was going to stir up questions of favoritism.

Committee:  Sure.  Now about your novel.  Most of it was already published, right?  Didn’t that disqualify it from the get-go?

Eric:   No.  Most of it was never published.  One story from TRACKS, called “Freedom,” is being serialized in twelve parts in an online magazine called Coloquio.  In fact, the final installment will be published next month.  Coloquio’s editor liked my writing and my message, and he thought it was worthy of publishing and sharing with his 7 million annual readers.  I’m glad it was accepted for publication.  But that was only about twenty pages out of a 350 page novel.  Not “most” of it.

Committee:  Were other excerpts published elsewhere?

Eric:   Yes.  Loyola College’s Apprentice House has accepted chapter three, “One Last Hit,” for publication in an upcoming anthology.  It’s a continuation of the first chapter, from the perspective of another passenger on the train: the hit man sent to kill Gene Silverman, who you may have read about in chapter one.

Committee:  That’s all?

Eric:   And another short excerpt was published on the Write Here Write Now website.

Committee:  And that’s the extent of your exposure for TRACKS?

Eric:   Not exactly.  I also was asked to read an excerpt under the CityLit Tent at last year’s Baltimore Book Festival -- the largest celebration of the literary arts in the Mid-Atlantic region.  And I’ve been invited to read an excerpt from TRACKS on the local National Public Radio station, Baltimore’s WYPR, this Friday.

Committee:  I see.  But doesn’t this exposure disqualify you from the contest?

Eric:   No.  According to the submission guidelines, excerpts were allowed to be published.  Just not the entire book.

Committee:  Fair enough.  But isn’t it true that you went on a cruise with the CEO of Gather?  Isn’t that where you hatched up the plan for this “contest?”

Eric:   No.  I’ve never met the CEO of Gather or anyone else employed by Gather.

Committee:  Did you not tell another member of Gather that you slept with an executive of the Gather staff?

Eric:   No.

Committee:  You claim to be a published author, Mr. Goodman.  The Baltimore Review.  The Washington Post.  To Be Read Aloud.  Writers Weekly.  These all sound like fancy, legitimate credits.  Aren’t professionally published authors ineligible for this contest?

Eric:   No, they’re not.  Only published novelists.  I haven’t had a novel published.

Committee:  Hmm.  What do you have to say for these credits?  Are they really credits at all?  Or just lies?

Eric:   Um, credits.

Committee:  Are they?  Because the excerpt from your novel-in-progress, Dead Ends, that was published in The Washington Post … I don’t think that’s good enough.  It doesn’t belong in a newspaper, and it doesn’t belong on your resume.

Eric:   Actually, I was quite honored when The Washington Post picked my novel excerpt to publish.  The reporter and editors working on the story thought mine was good enough to publish.  I got a lot of compliments when that showed up in the Post.  “How many people can say they’ve had their fiction published in The Washington Post,” several writers said.

Committee:  Sure they did.  What about Writers Weekly?  Isn’t that just some sort of self-publishing rag?

Eric:   The editor and publisher happens to operate a publishing company.  But they adhere to strict editorial standards.  And Writers Weekly happens to have the highest circulation of any freelance writing ezine in the world.  They’re also strong advocates for writers, believing that all writers should be paid for their published work.  I’m proud that I’ve had two stories published -- and paid for -- by them this year.

Committee:  So you’re paid by Gather AND by Writers Weekly for your writing?  Isn’t that a conflict of interest?

Eric:   No, it’s not.

Committee:  Rumor has it that you actually had the nerve to market your fiction -- not only to the Gather community, but to people outside Gather!  Actually tried to get people to read, rate, and comment on your chapters.  Is that true?

Eric:   Yes.  Of course it’s true.

Committee:  My first chapter festered on page two hundred and never saw the light of day. Only five people even voted for it, and it got a rating of 4.5.  And here you, with your emails and articles and invitations to read TRACKS, you had more than a thousand readers in each round.  Is that right?

Eric:   Yes, that's about right.  I know enough about the writing business to know this: if you write it, they won’t automatically come.  You have to lead readers to your work. If you don’t market your fiction, no one is ever going to know about it.  The only way to get people to read your fiction is to market it.

Committee:  So what’s more important: the writing or the marketing?

Eric:   The writing is always most important -- that’s what it’s all about.  But in order to bring attention to your writing, you have to market it.

Committee:  But didn’t you invite all of your friends and the people in your local writing community and everyone you knew to vote for your chapters?  People you know shouldn’t be allowed to help you?

Eric:   That’s like saying that fans who already read Stephen King books shouldn’t be allowed to buy the next Stephen King novel.  Having a platform -- whether friends, relatives, fellow writers, students, whoever -- is an important part of being a successful writer.  You’ve got to have readers already interested in your work before you can hope to interest an agent or publisher.

Committee:  You write like a graduate right out of an MFA program who hasn’t had any life experience to write about.  What do you say to that?

Eric:   I’d say thank you for the compliment, since I never went for an MFA.  I graduated as a sociology major about twelve years ago.  As for experience, I’ve had a bit.  I’ve lived in a number of states from coast to coast, lived in Japan, Russia, and have spent time in Korea, Germany, France, London, Holland, Belgium, Luxemburg, and … I’m headed to Prague next.  I’m a father, a son, a husband, a friend, and have seen love lost and death found.  I’ve had a good amount of experience to use in my writing.  Not to mention that I get a lot of my inspiration from reading good books.  I read a lot of books.

Committee:  When you approach your keyboard, you set out to write “the great American novel,” don’t you?  It looks like it, in your writing.  Like, “I’m going to write the great American novel today.”

Eric:   No, but again, thanks for the compliment.  I just want to write stories that connect to people, that promote understanding, and that people can enjoy.  I want to touch people with my writing.  Doesn’t everyone?

Committee:  No.  We want to get rich and famous.  That’s why we’ve been so loud.

Eric:   Good luck with that.

Committee:  You posted a comment after your first chapter with a blurb explaining the concept.  Shouldn’t a person just read the first chapter or the second chapter without having any idea what the novel is about, what genre it’s in?

Eric:   I can’t imagine many serious writers feeling that way.  You always know something about the book before reading it.  If you don’t read the blurb on the back of the cover or at the start of the novel, if you don’t read the quotes and excerpts, you probably have heard something about the book, read a review, or know something about the writer.  You or have some idea of the type of book it is.  You usually know the genre at the very least.  Posting the few paragraphs describing the novel was simply a way to let readers know what they were reading -- something not obvious in one or two chapters, especially for a novel in stories.  Without the blurb, readers wouldn’t even know what section of the book store to go to for TRACKS.

Committee:  For God’s sake, if you have to tell someone what your novel’s about, you’ve failed!  Do you think you’ll get to pitch your novel to an agent, publisher or reader like that?

Eric:   Um, yes.  That’s how it’s done.  An agent or publisher will read a brief query letter before ever requesting the first few chapters of a manuscript.  You have to pitch the concept before you get someone to read the novel.

Committee:  You have an answer for everything, don’t you?

Eric:   Not everything.  I don’t know how to get my novel picked up by an agent.

Committee:  Well, neither do we.  We couldn’t even get to round two.

Eric:   Well, maybe if you focus on your writing instead of tearing apart that of others …

Committee:  Don’t you realize that your writing is never going to matter because you have no soul?  You’re a doughnut man.  That’s you: the man with the doughnuts.

Eric:   Actually, I pour my heart and soul into my fiction.  Besides, I’m more of a cookie man.

Committee:  Isn’t TRACKS just a sloppy first draft?  Didn’t you spit it out in a month?

Eric:   Not exactly.  The version of TRACKS I entered in the novel contest has been rewritten, workshopped, edited, revised, and then some.  Although some errors made it through, and some were imposed by the conversion to html, the copy I submitted is a carefully polished copy.  But I did write the first draft in one month.  For the past few years, I’ve participated in National Novel Writing Month.  In fact, I’ve been a winner for the past four years.  In 2004, TRACKS won National Novel Writing Month.  But it’s been through a lot of revision since then.

Committee:  It doesn’t show.

Eric:   You can take a good number of published novels and pick them apart.  Many of the edits and comments made in this contest were substantive and helpful, others were just cranky opinions.

Committee:  That wasn’t a question, Mr. Goodman.  This is: you’re pretty pissed off at the people who left comments on your second chapter, aren’t you?

Eric:   Not really.  I mean, I’d have preferred more polite comments.  Most writers long to hear good things about their writing.  I think many of the comments came from angry people, and it showed in the tones.  I appreciate all of the constructive criticism, and I'll put it to use.  I didn’t appreciate the hateful, vicious attacks.  But I understood where they were coming from, where they originated.  I’ve printed out the comments.  I’ll use what I can, and let the angry keep their anger.

Committee:  I bet you hope they’ll rip apart the finalists, don’t you?  Just rip them to shreds, tear their shoddy chapters apart!

Eric:   No, I don’t.  I wish all the best to the finalists.  They all deserve to be there.

Committee:  But didn’t some of them cheat?  Didn’t some of them use their friends and influence and power?  Didn’t some of them get where they are unfairly?

Eric:   I can’t answer for all of them.  But as far as I can see, everyone seems to be playing fairly.  Some of them have larger platforms than others, some have better chapters than others, some even have better attitudes than other.  But they all earned their places.  I believe we all have.

Committee:  What about you and that romance writer semi-finalist?  Is it true that you have a thing for each other?

Eric:   She’s a fine writer and a good person.

Committee:  So it’s true that you’re having an affair with the romance writer?  After all, you just called her fine.

Eric:   I have not had sexual relations with that woman.  In fact, we haven’t even met in person.

Committee:  But you have confirmed your affair with the CEO, isn’t that right?

Eric:   No.

Committee:  What about saidisms?  You use saidisms in your writing, don’t you?

Eric:   Sometimes.  When they work.

(The panel members whisper to one another and scribble notes.)

Committee:  Not just saidisms, but “as you know Bob” infodumps, too?

Eric:   When appropriate.

Committee:  Have you ever told a story instead of showing it?

Eric:   You have to tell, sometimes.

Committee:  Clichés?  Stilted dialogue?  Dragging middles?  Wooden characters?

Eric:   I try to avoid them. Sometimes they creep in.  The best writers use them occasionally.

Committee:  Have you considered that your novel has no characters?  You should study what characters are and then write a story with characters.  Have you considered that?

Eric:   Uh … my fiction tends to be character-based.  I’ve been accused of lacking a plot before, but not lacking characters.

Committee:  Well, we didn’t like your characters.  They got under our skin, irritated us, and really kind of pissed us off.

Eric:   Then you felt something.  Isn’t that the point?

Committee:  We’ll ask the questions, Mr. Goodman.

Eric:   Sorry.

Committee:  Isn’t this a rip-off of the movie Crash? 

Eric:   Actually, I haven’t seen it yet, but it’s on my list.  There may be similarities in concept.  I wrote this in 2004, before Crash.  But almost every story told is a retelling of another story, when it comes down to it.

Committee:  Gee, what an ingenious concept, a novel on a train.  What’s next, a bunch of stories about people driving in their cars?  Oh, I know -- I’ll write a story about people on a bus!

Eric:  That’s been done.  It’s called The Wayward Bus, by John Steinbeck.  And it’s good.

Committee:  You like to serve stale cheese puffs, don’t you?

Eric:   I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Committee:  Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?  You seem to be ashamed and should probably just come out and admit it.

Eric:   For what?

Committee:  I said we’ll ask the questions.

Eric:   No, I’m not ashamed. I have nothing to be ashamed of.

Committee:  Are you really Eric D. Goodman?  Or are you John?  Or Donny?  Or Mark?  Or Lori?  Is it true that you’re all really the same person and this has all just been a publicity stunt?

Eric:   No.  I’m Eric.

Committee:  Is it true that you, in fact, ghost wrote every semi-finalist entry?  That you’re still in the running under a pen name?

Eric:   No.  The only entry I wrote was TRACKS.

Committee:  I don’t know.  You, Stephen and Greeta seem suspiciously supportive of one another.

Eric:   We all love writing.  But we’re not the same person.

Committee:  But you are having an affair with one of the other contestants or judges, right?

Eric:   No.

Committee:  Mr. Goodman, has TRACKS run out of steam?

Eric:   This train’s just getting started.  In fact, it’s already with an agent I queried.  And this week I’m reading from it on the local NPR radio station.  An excerpt from TRACKS recently won third place in the Maryland Writers’ Association annual fiction contest.  This past weekend, an independent publisher asked me to send her a copy.  I expect TRACKS will find success elsewhere.  It’s just a matter of time.

Committee:  Oy, this is a really long and boring post.  Can I just stop reading now?

Eric:   No one’s forcing you to be here.  You can stop anytime you want.  Wait a minute, you’re the one making me answer questions!

Committee:  That was an email question from the audience.  We’re not bored.

Eric:   Oh.

Committee:  Is there any “there” there?

Eric:   That depends on what your definition of “there” is.

Committee:  Don’t you think it’s time to just quit?  Pack it up?  Settle for a job writing fast food menus or road signs?

Eric:   No.  I’ll continue to search for an agent or publisher for TRACKS.  And I’m revising another novel now.  I’m working on a screenplay, a few travel stories, and some short fiction.  I can’t give up writing.  It’s who I am.

Committee:  Is there anything else you’d like to say for yourself?

Eric:  Just that this contest was a great experience and I’m glad I was able to be a part of it.

(The panel takes a few moments to discuss the hearing.)

Committee:  Very well, Mr. Goodman.  Welcome to the club.  You’re officially a First Chapters Writing Competition Loser.  Join us for a martini in the hot tub.

Eric:   Thank you.

Committee:  By the way, did anyone ever tell you that you’re hot?

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 NOTE:  Most of the questions posed by the committee were either taken from or inspired by questions and comments posted to me and the other semi-finalists in either posts, comments, private messages, or emails.  Enjoy!