There are times when I randomly see the word Nautica, like when I walk into Wal Mart or K Mart to check out what's new, or when I signed up for this free Nautica Island Voyage cologne. And then I think of the phrase “nautical miles,” which makes me think of boats, which makes me wish I had a boat, which makes me realize that if I had a boat, I’d want it to be a giant battleship boat with tons of guns, cannons, and missiles. Then I realize the only way I’ll ever get one of those is if I join the Navy.
So, to sum up, I’m pretty sure we’ve now proved that Nautica is a propaganda tool of the government whose sole purpose is to help boast the Navy’s enlistment rates. I think my work here is done.


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