Jaclyn Smith and Her Deal with the Devil

Has anyone seen ‘Sheer Genius’ yet?  The formula behind the show is much like the other competition reality shows on the Bravo network, in this case the dozen competitors are stylists who compete by completing such tasks as doing hair from craft store finds and cutting hair with such implements as box cutters and hedge clippers.  The show is hosted by sixty-one year old Jaclyn Smith.  Yup, that’s right, Jaclyn Smith is a sixty-one year old who, judging by how she appears on TV, could literally pass for half her age.  I’m sure she has ate well, exercised, was blessed with good genes, and had some ‘work’ done, but that can’t be the whole story.  There has to be something else, and I think that something else (borrowing the voice from Dana Carvey’s SNL church lady) is Satan.

Yes, I think Jaclyn Smith has made a deal with the devil.  Here’s the other thing, assuming I live into my sixties, if I look as good as she does, all I can say is, “Prince of Darkness, give me a call.”

Seriously, if you have no stomach for reality TV then check her out at the show’s website (http://www.bravotv.com/Shear_Genius/ ).  If you are like me and tend to laugh when you hear that someone still in their twenties has decided to write a beauty book, then you are probably of the same mindset as I asking, when is Jaclyn Smith going to pen one of her own?  Of the three original angles from ‘Charlie’s Angels’ she is the only who could still be cast.  It isn’t as if the other two, Kate Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, have exactly become road kill (both have suffered some health problems) but they are a far cry from Smith.  Helen Mirren may be considered the sex symbol of the moment for the retired crowd, but Jaclyn Smith is aging in dog years.

Also, and doesn’t this beat all, I think Smith is wearing her ‘Jaclyn Smith’ K-mart collection on the show.  I saw it a while back and she was sitting as a judge in a leopard print blouse, which didn’t look dated or appear as if she was trying too hard.

As far as the show she is hosting, ‘Sheer Genius’ is no ‘Project Runway’ but it isn’t ‘Top Design.’  It is interesting in a hair centric way and I am amused that the caught in farm machinery haircut that ‘stylist’ Sally Hershberger gave Meg Ryan (back in the day when Meg was still America’s sweetheart) qualifies her to judge anyone’s work.  Yes, I get that the haircut is difficult to execute, but really, did anyone ever think Ryan looked her best in it?  I remember thinking at the time, a decade or so ago (it should be noted that Hershberger still wears her hair in the same style) that Ms. Ryan was really too old to try to look punk.

I think ‘Sheer Genius’ works because it is something that we proletariat types can identify with.  Although I mentioned Hershberger charges $600.00 to $800.00 per haircut (for those prices I better get a nice scalp massage too) most of the contestants come from average salons.  Of course, there are models (out of work actresses I merger) who allow the contestants to chop off their hair or dye it to an orange-pink hue.  It is sometimes more amusing to watch them walk the runway than to watch them get their haircut.  For instance, there was one girl, the one whose stylist thought the looked best with hair the color of Bozo the Clown, who walked the runway smiling a huge smile.  All I could think about is ‘Wow, she really is a good actress.  Another hair model wanted to look like Christine Aguilera, but ended up with Marsha Cross ‘Desperate Housewives’ hair and SHE looked very cross as she sauntered around for the judges.

I have been giving some thought about these shows because in many ways they are just filler until ‘Project Runway’ returns for its fourth season.  Although there are a lot of cooking shows and even some with competition themes, I always thought ‘Top Chef’ worked because the challenges were interesting to watch, plus they covered a lot of categories of food preparation from high class dining to school cafeteria settings.

Where I think ‘Top Design’ failed was that there are several very good design shows being shown across many cable networks and thus the audience knows that with the right carpenter someone can really redo a kitchen for under two grand.  When the designers were given budgets of fifty grand and only one place in which they could ‘buy’ (they actually just borrowed) the furniture it just seemed to unreal.  Particularly when carpenters were sort of given the status of second class citizens and we all know from seeing at least one episode of ‘Trading Spaces’ often everything depends on them.

Anyhow, if you have a chance to check out ‘Sheer Genius’ do so, even if you aren’t a fan of reality programming, contests, or anything about hair; the ageless Jaclyn Smith will leave you wondering too, how does she do it?

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