As those of you who read this article know, I recently went to visit my Dad, who's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's ....and who, because of problems with his second wife, I haven't seen in about 15 years. We had a good visit... but on the way home, I couldn't help but think about how incredibly nasty Alzheimer's is... I've just been through it with my mother in law and the fear, the complete and utter loss of dignity... it is horrible and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.Â And so, as I was driving - and thinking - and crying - the thought crossed my mind that it would be kinder - better - if his other health concerns took him before he gets to the point where B. can't take care of him alone anymore. (I'm more than 3 hours away, so as much as I wish I could help, I just can't be there enough to take the pressure off of her.... )
Â I'm not ready! I didn't mean it!
Â Logically, I know that my thinking doesn't have a damn thing to do with anything.... but he was rushed to hospital by ambulance today, and is having a blood transfusion now to replace the blood he's losing through as yet undetermined internal bleeding; he's scheduled for a scope and additional testing and....
I'm not ready! I didn't mean it!
It's too late to go there now - visiting hours would be over by the time I got there... but I so want to just get in the car and go. Could drive down and meet my sister and go with her tomorrow, but think I'm going to take my own car and just go so that I can stay over in Niagara Falls tomorrow... I don't have a class until 7 p.m. Monday.