What Kind Of Emotional Roller Coaster Am I On, Anyway???!!!!

Have fun on May 19th, your Morfar wouldn't want you to walk around sad all the time. After my mother-in -law's funeral, we all went out to dinner. We were all exhausted - but we all started to laugh, tell jokes and start to go back to normal. We raised our glasses and gave a toast to her- I am sure she would want everyone to heal and not walk around crying constantly. So go and let your heart start to heal- the pain will ease as time goes by.

((((((Leah)))))))
Believe it or not, what you're going through is normal. It's OK to laugh at the funeral, Morfar would want that. He'll be looking down at you with a huge smile on his face. It takes time...
Gentle Hugs,
Marilyn

If it cheers you I gave ya a Ten ; )
Hang In there. I agree. What your going throughb is normal. It seems whenever there is a death people always bring food. There is always food from ear to ear. So I say eat until your hearts content.

Do what you think you should and don't worry about what any one thinks. The best to you.

I am feeling real clueless...but wishing you the best ~

I remember at my dad's funeral my brothers, sister and mom were in the limo driving to the grave site after the service in the funeral home (I don't know how everyone else does it; but generally there is a longer service with music and a sermon at the funeral home or a church and then a shorter service/gathering at the gravesite). Anyway; we got to talking about something; reminiscing about dad and all of us were cracking up about the memory. I don't know what it was; but I do remember just laughing with joy with the remaining members of my immediate family on the way to bury my dad. And it was so natural.

I am thankful for the dad I had; and we all miss him even now some 15 years later. And we had plenty of tears and sad times at the funeral and in the intervening years. One of my sadder thoughts about my dad was that he was not able to meet my wife Cindy and marry us (my dad was an ordained minister); we married six years after his death.

But all those feelings are natural; just feel them and do what you can to handle them. But most of all be thankful for the good memories of your loved ones that have gone on before; and look forward to the day you will see them again if you and them both have accepted Christ.

I think you simply feel how you feel. If someone has lived a long, good life...why no celebrate them at the funeral. I would love it if my family could be celebrating and not unhappy when I go. I had to google Turkish Delight...I had no idea what you were talking about!

Enjoying Turkish delight and chocolate is an absolutely way to have a tribute to Morfar!

It sounds like one of those 100 mph mornings. Lift a cup for all of us who will be there in spirit with you on the 19th.

Do what is right for you, Leah. NO one can tell you how to grieve. You have a wonderful spirit.

Leah, Do it your way, and that will be correct!

Hang on, dear Sis! And, please, take care. You have a wonderful spirit indeed, and we all love you.

BIG, WARM hug, as always - S.

Some people pay big money at Six Flags or Canada's Wonderland for that kind of roller coaster :)

It depends entirely on the tradition why some people laugh at funerals and others don't. I have been to two funerals recently; one was in a black Captist Church, and there was laughing, clapping and joyous singing. the other was in a white Catholic church and the atmosphere was much more solemn and tearful. Take your pick and go with the flow.

We all grieve in our own way, Leah. I think that laughing is a wonderful thing and remembering funny events around the loved one is a great way to pay tribute to their memory.

Definitely a "TEN"

What you're going through and feeling is actually pretty normal. I say, Do what makes you feel better. After all, it is about celebrating your loved ones life. That is what they would want you to do :-)

I agree we all mourn in our own way.

The Irish call them "wakes". Everybody eats, drinks and makes merry...

If we believe that everyone goes on to "a better place" after their time on Earth is done, then, I say, we should be happy for them... (Personally, I hope that when my time comes, everybody "parties hearty" and has a great time!) :o)

sorry it's been so long, i've been having internet problems, on the phone with the phone company daily, frustrated, irritated, and so much more.... Just haven't got back here for some time... So Sorry bout that hun. If you have messenger of any kind maybe we can connect on there and talk...

A while ago, about 2 christmas's ago one of my very close friends passed away, it was a car accident, somehow she flipped, got decapitated, and well, died...
at first i was in shock, literally, it was horrible, i didn't cry at first, i kinda didn't believe it, i realized i was shaking and decided to go have a hot bath, well i started the bath with a lot of hot and a little cold, enough to make it a nice steaming bath, but when i got in, it was so cold my teeth were chatering and i ws sliding all over the tub for my shaking.
So i turned the cold right off and sat in just hot water, i was still shaking, chattering, freezing, but i sat there anyway.
My hot water tank is set to just below boiling. My skin was bright red and flaking.
I got out, still freezing, and then kinda became numb.
I cried a little, and then suddenly, i felt calmer than i ever felt before. It was odd...
At the funeral, i didn't cry, i hooked up with some other old friends and we kinda had a reunion.
I felt sick with myself because i didn't cry, i didn't even feel sad, i thought that i was just taking it as whatever, even though we were so close.
But later on, i realized that it was easy to let her go because i knew that's where she wanted to be, and that's just how i was mourning her, by letting her be free.

What i'm trying to say is that everyone mourns differently as Larry H. said, but it's so true, because yes, i mourned her, and i miss her every day, but i know somehow that it's okay with her, it really is.
So don't worry, even if you feel happy right now, it's all right, realy, it is, he's with his wife, and one day you will see him again, but for now, it's for you to live your life, and be happy in it.
Everything happpens the way it's supposed to, and i think that's how it's happening.
Sorry this is so long, but i wanted you to hear the way it can be at times. The way it was for me, maybe if this doesn't help with the morning, it can help with the knowledge that we all know how your feeling in one way or another.

Right on, Donna H!

Thank you so much, Marilyn. You're absolutely right.

Thank you, Audrey.

Also, I loved the white with the red hearts. That pattern is typically Danish. You probably picked out those colours because of my flag icon! ;-) Thank you for being so thoughtful.

Thank you Janet. I'm going to remind them of that. You made a brilliant point about food and death.

Right on, William. Thank you!!

Thanks Deb!! Your best wishes are greatly appreciated. Don't worry about beling clueless. It was because I was somewhat clueless, that I wrote the article on which you just commented. ;-)

Thank you Donald. Well said!!! I know what you mean about the "only thing." All Morfar wanted was to meet Walker. Because of distance that wasn't possible, but they had a few very good chats on the phone. Thank you so much for understanding.

Actually, we have many many different religious beliefs in our family. I KNOW that where ever they want, they are still wish me because I felt them last night. I know that Jesus was respected in many religions, not limited to who he was to the Christians, and that his father, GOD, the father of EVERYTHING, has fixed it so all who have done good in the world will be together eternally. Remember what I wrote about Mormor and Morfar standing behind me. Both have left their bodies, but their spirits are continuing on their journey.

Thank you Sue S. Amen to that!!! And now that you have googled Turkish Delight, do you like what you discovered? ;-)

Thank you Christine!!! If you were here, I'd share it with you.

Thank you, Guy.

Thank you Stephanie A. That means a lot!

Well put, Tomi. Thank you!!!

Thank you so much, Dear Sveta. You know I love you too.

Walker!!!

If they're willing to pay ME big money, I'm willing to transfer all of my shit to them, and they can ride the roller coaster themselves. Imagine how much Turkish Delight I can buy with that kind of money!!

Peter, WOW!!! I know what you mean. Big difference.

Thank you Clare.

Thank you Dawne. I will definitely keep that in mind.

Thank you Dana.

Thanks Larry. Well put.

Right on, Jean!!!!!!!!!!!! And if anyone gives me any crap, I'm going to ask them whose life it is we're celebrating, theirs or Morfar's!!!!! And Morfar never gave me crap for being myself, so I won't take it from them either.

Thank you Ashley.

Yes, I was wondering where you were. We all have computer problems thanks for explaining.

As for your story, thanks so much for sharing it, I needed that. The only thing that really REALLY bugs me is that Morfar never got to meet Walker, and he REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to, and Walker wanted to meet Morfar more than anything. I'm upset that there will never be another chance.

As for your comment running long, no need to worry about that. If there is a good message, it can never be too long.

Thank you.

If I could write it in my will that people are required to laugh when I go, then I would. We played "I'll fly away," from Oh, Brother, Where Art Though at my dad's funeral, and everyone sang. It was very nice. It was wonderful Morfar let you be who you are, and it sounds as if this group agrees. Cheers to you,

Mary Saunders

Thanks so much, Mary.

Good article as I am here typing away at 3:08. Thanks

Thank you Carol.

Remembering the good times and having a good time with family is was what helped me get through my mother's funeral. Especially since it was only my son and myself in attendance at the time and I couldn't really fall apart in front of him because my husband couldn't make it. Nothing wrong with it.

Thank you Karolyn.