Have you ever felt like God was testing you for something? I don't know what I have done wrong, I don't know why this is all happening to my family, I don't know what the test is all about.
Seems like every day for the last month, some major thing is happening to my family.
First we have anger issues with our 18 year old son that is about to hopefully graduate from high school in a couple weeks. He spazzed out a couple times over the last couple weeks and had a major meltdown and went on a rampage.
My 9 yr old son is having major issues in school and has no desire to pay attention in class, he is lying to us alot about homework and just minor things, he is pooing in his pants because he just does not want to take the time out to go to the bathroom and on top of that, he was with a group of boys a few days ago when they were all exposing themselves to each other to "be cool" and all of the moms are in an outrage and thinking that the boys are all gay....OMG....
Our family is having major financial problems, I am not liking my job at all that I have been at for over 18 years....
What is going on?
I go to church, I miss every couple weeks but I do go....we put money in the offering plate even if we don't hardly have any for gas or food.....we volunteer at church and are scout leaders.....I know that we are put through stress from time to time for a reason but I just don't know what is going on and don't know how to get out of this mess. How do I just pull up the boot straps and dig in and get through this stress and mess?
I pray everyday for peace, for god to bless my family, for our house and the people in it to be wrapped with peace, love, and good things.....
I am sick over this mess.
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Comments: 27
(((((hug))))) for you and hopefully it will get better for you.
My husband and I are moving on June 1st and we are looking at it as a new beginning. As we didn't even spend New Year's Eve together I have told my husband that since this is the half year point, he will spend May 31st bringing in a better part of 2007 with me.
Judith - I like your dogs too, and you!
You are so right about the dogs. LOL
My dogs love me (I have 2 of them and a cat). The biggest problem that my dogs ever cause is the occasional digging in the yard or a poo on the carpet.
I do understand how people do not believe in god for many reasons and I have actually had a point in my life where I was angry at god and didn't want to believe but something keeps pulling me back in and I do believe that there is a god. In my life, the god that I believe in is testing my family for some reason.
I just hope that all this drama is about over.
I am a very happy free spirit person that just wants everyone to do their thing and get it done and get along. I do not like drama and anger and violence and stuff like that so....why Me? why is this all entering into my life?
Well, if you do believe in God, please say a prayer for my family please.
and, if you don't believe in god that is OK too....just send me a hug to make me smile..k??
Your life seems very much like mine. I know that doesn't help, because if I had the answers, neither one of us would be this stressed. We are constantly broke, my wonderful husband was diagnosed with MS last year, all three boys are ADHD, my oldest has auspergers, I always am behind in tuition for the kids (and everything else for that matter) my 13 year old has spring fever and has to be threatened to turn in homework, my neighbors are miserable and ALWAYS threatening to call the police on my sons for such crimes as throwing a tennis ball against our fence, in our yard at 2:30 in the afternoon, everytime I think we are going to get ahead something happens, like the van breaks down. To top it all off, I work in a high stress, low pay job that I am trapped in because I have good health insurance that we need for my husband. It NEVER seems to get better. I promise, you are not alone.
Just do this... HANG IN THERE. I usually laugh and say "I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much"
Also, you may want to take your 9 year old to the doctor. He may have a medical issue that keeps him from feeling the need to go until it is too late or he may be under some kind of stress too. Better to know for sure that it is not medical. If it is, and he keeps getting in trouble, it can really damage him. (Believe it or not, we went through that with my youngest and wetting. My friends son had problems with wetting and dirtying his pants. Both had medical problems - not just too lazy- although I swear it felt like it.)
I've had a terrible month, too! It's been as though everything that happens is awful and turns out badly. Talk about being tested! I'm not going to go into details because this is about you, not me, but take my word for it, you're not the only one going through a period like this right now. One thing that happens in times like these is that we easily get distracted from our spiritual life, blame God, who has no grudge against us and nothing to do with it, and complain that surely we've earned rewards, not punishment.
In a way, I suspect that every 'average' family in the country is experiencing plenty of hardship and depression right now. The cost of everything keeps going up, we're all more or less living on the edge of one kind of disaster or another, the political situation is terrible and doesn't look like it's going to improve or in any way work towards bringing things under control. All we can do is keep the faith and work our way through these rough times.
I am just one of those people that does not judge anyone from their beliefs, color, nationality, sexuality choice..etc. I just do my thing and believe in my god and let the next person make their own choice too.
I so appreciated the nice comment from Judith as well because she sent her opinion in an unjudging way as well. Judith and I have shared many of the same opinions and likes on other boards here and that is good. I appreciate you comments as well and we will probably see eye to eye on a different subject on Gather.
I just like everyone to smile and get along with each other in humanity.
Thanks so much for your comments.....I don't take offense to any non-believers comments as long as people don't put me down and yell at me and say really mean things.
Re: your son and the accidents in his clothing. He may well be rebelling against something or it is a crying out for attention. When my daughter got custody of her nephew, he did this for a while. Sometimes when he was angry and sometimes when he felt another person in the family was getting all the attention. Hope things improve for you!
We have love and we have hard work. Life isn't easy, as you've experienced. We don't always have answers to what occurs or to what people do by way of the free will God gave them. I almost lost my faith, once, and I didn't really care if I did or not, that's how bad things were. It just went on and on and on. Eventually, faith returned, but not because I wanted it to. No matter what happens, God keeps your spirit safe.
Keep praying (talking & asking God) and also take the time to meditate afterwards (listening to God). This is the peaceful part. Both will help you every day, even if it's only when you wake up and when you go to bed at night. Give yourself little breaks every day. Make sure you are doing some of the things you enjoy doing, even if for 5 or 10 minutes! I can empathize with you hating your job sometimes. When that is getting you down, make a list of the things that you have to be grateful for related to your work. Is there any room for advancement? That's also a good exercise for reviewing your day before bed. Keep a list of things you are grateful for. There might be more than you think, and helps when you're feeling down! Take care!
Keep us posted and God Bless your family.
"all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to HIS purpose." and Jeremiah 29: 11 "
Amy said much of what I would have said.
The enemy attacks. He will always attack. Sometimes the attacks are subtle and sometimes they are blatant. You are the only person who can control the degree which it affects you. Sounds like your boys are acting out and even if it's hard to understand, all children do this. Your 18 yr. old is stressing, a disease my daughter called senioritis. All three of my children got this disease. What happens is they get caught on the plateau between childhood and adulthood and are scared to move.
My advise to you is to just breathe for a moment. Want a different job, email me and maybe I can help.
Our main ones now are.
Oldest son and his wife are not talking to us, didn't get mother's day card or call. Long story involves another of our sons and DIL and their child, lying, CPS and more. Oldest son has walked away from God pretty much.
2. Daughter is needing to move in with us with her five kids and husband, another long story but a road coming through where they live and they cannot afford any place else.
3. Problem is our second oldest already lives with us and occupies one of our three bedrooms. He is permenantly disabled and his kids come here every other weekend for visitation and two weeks in June, two in July, two in august, holidays etc. His daughter uses the spare room. We have to clean out our tack room, to make into a bedroom and they will be living in their large Commander Motor home which is going to help and taking meals with us and using the bathrooms.
4. My husband will be laid off of sub teaching which supplements his $997 a month Social Security income for 3.5 months. Subs get no unemployment or other benefits.
5.We got a ton of cleaning, remodling etc and landscaping still to do and no money to do it and now need to juggle time and money to somehow get a place for our daughter.
6.Youngest son struggling to find work and not lose his home.
7. We don't have medical or dental insurance and I got a tooth needs attention but don't have the $400 to get it taken care of. It will cost $200 to have it pulled and don't have that either.
8. Social Security is trying to kick my hubby off at age 59 we appealed and are on hold.
9. His School loans are in default and collection because we don't have the income to pay them and now they charge 22% interest per day for them. How do they think we can pay that when we couldn't pay the other. We tried to work with Sallie Mae to pay $100 a month and they refused payment said it had to be $499 a month. Our needs for mortgage, utilities, food, auto expense and insurance etc are about $1500.00. My husband with subbing Gets about $1600.00 but they don't care. We have no life insurance, no medical insurance, No burial policy, no retirement or IRA, nothing to retire on or live on. We live from month to month at the mercy of God.
I think it is the end times and people are just plain being influenced by satanic vibes. Hang in there hold on to your faith and keep praying don't give up. It will get better and all trials, and storms have silver linings. Prayer is your biggest defense and Prayer and believing is going to see you through. I don't hate my children or DIL just so sad for them and hurt for all of us. It is evilness. Satan hates families and seeks to destroy them. Some fall easier. The further out you are from God and his love and daily contact the more problems will come. Read your bible and ask God to show you what to do and to help you cope. He will. I Peter 4:12-13, James 5:10-11, 13, 16
Have complete faith in God. We will have trials through our entire lives. I too would have said the same things that Amy has said here.
Tracey, you sound so much like I used to. But, let me just point out a few things a clergy man pointed out to me. forgive me if i don't use capitals in my reply....my keyboard has been freaking out lately.
What have you done wrong? Let me ask you a question. My father and stepfather and a fellow Gatherite, Kathline Gore, had/have cancer. What did they do wrong to get it. All of them were fairly good people. Have you gone down the streets of a major city lately? Have you noticed how many homeless people there are? Are you aware that many of the homeless are children? What have they done wrong.
Is it a test? Do you believe creator God would test a baby by allowing her father to put her in a microwave? Do you believe a creator God would test a child by giving it leukemia? And let another child not be tested, but have a healthy body that never gets sick. If don't believe a creator can be cruel and that's just plain cruel.
In life we endure the consequences of our own actions and those of others. Although, I agree that your older son is having problems because the stress of graduation and that could be what is going on with your younger son too (maybe he feels like big brother is leaving him behind), there could be more to it. Something could be going on in their lives at school or in the neighborhood that you don't know about. Who know what it could be....But something that would upset them. Counseling is in order for both boys.
When we compare our lives with what we want them to be like, and see where we are not achieving our goals/desires, it's easy to blame God becaues organized religions tend to play up the "if you are good and sacrifice your money to support us, God will bless you" thing. That's because it's easier to motivate people to do good that way. But, one of the great examples of the Bible, to me, is King David. Look at his actions. Having someone killed so you could take yet another wife after getting her pregnant while she was married to someone else, is not the way the churches today would teach you should behave. Yet, God never took anything away from him except the baby that was conceived out of wedlock and I would bet that hurt Bathsheba more than it hurt David.
Really, is your life so horrible that you think it's a test or that you've done something wrong? Perhaps it would be better for you to have been born in the poorer parts of Africa where you wouldn't have to worry about your income, cause you wouldn't have one. Or, you could be one of the homeless here in America where your son would have to poo under a bridge rather than in his pants? No. I know you don't believe any of that. You are greatly blessed. You have a husband, which many women, who want one don't. You have two sons. I know two women who wanted children so badly and couldn't have them. They would say that if they could each have one of your son's they would feel so blessed. You have a church to give you spiritual sustenance. Some homeless people can't go to church because they would feel uncomfortable since they don't have the right clothes, and they couldn't belong to some churches because they would feel uncomfortable when everyone talked about offerings and they had nothing to give. And, before everyone starts telling me how your church would accept those people....I know the CHURCH, itself would, but the church is filled with people who compare their lives to others and they give look askance at those not dressed as well and there are cliques in every church that exists that will make a person feel uncomfortable. No, I haven't visited every church, but I have visited churches in all religions and have been a member of churches of most religions long enough to see it happen before I have moved on to check out other religions. All churches have good people in them, too, that will reach out to these poorer folks, but there are usually too few of those kinds to be able to befriend them all.
Tracey, you have many many blessings. Your life is not a trial. They way you are looking at it, though, is shortchanging yourself. Do what my clergy person told me....Sit down and start writing out all the ways that you have been blessed in your life and list the blessings you have now. You will probably see that you are not being tested and you have done nothing wrong. You are just experiencing the consequences of someone's actions and God has blessed you with the support group and money to handle the stress. Religion so often teaches us to blame God for the ation of others and even for our own actions and choices. Don't fall into that trap. He doesn't deserve it.
You and your sons and your husband will be okay. This will probably just be a blip on the radar of your life. Hang onto the good stuff and it will get you through the bad stuff.