I recently returned from a 6 day spring vacation on South Beach, in Miami Beach, Florida USA. One of the suprises that South Beach had in store for us was that it was a topless beach. This is OK by my wife and I, but it was the first time our kids, now 8 and 11 were on a topless beach. My eight year old was the first to notice a rather heavy woman about 20 feet away. Her bikini thong bottom disappeared into her enormous ass and she didn't have a top on. He laughed and said "Look, that lady doesn't have a bra on!". At second glance I noticed that apparantly she had recently given birth and was probably still giving milk. Possibly right there where she stood. It was hard to tell from twenty feet in the glaring sun. Her nipples were scary big, or was that a very small dark baby? At this point I was just trying to ignore the bizzare sight and enjoy the other half of my peripheral vision. I also noticed a big-headed little girl that was also topless and concluded that this must be her daughter, even though her mouth didn't seem quite big enough. I didn't know what to say to my son. So I said, "I know, so what?" and the three of us all laughed and giggled. We all knew we weren't laughing because she was topless.
Later that day, sitting at the pool while the sun was mutating my cells through my sunblock ( I remember wondering if my eyeballs were getting sunburn ), I noticed a plane fly by with a Nike banner that read "Be Kind To Your Implants, Run Easy Miami". That was my second suprise, implants! What a bummer. There were a few good looking natural women there, but not many, and not topless! And no, I didn't bring my camera to the beach. But trust me, it wasn't worth the risk of sand and salt water damage.