FRUSTRATION IS FRUSTRATING
The following is a response to an article written by Firoze called Teen Suicides.
"The recent news report on two teenage girls in Bombay, India, hanging themselves over perceived academic failure is but the latest manifestation of an alarming new trend amongst today’s young people. Hardly two days later comes another report of a 22 year-old Indian Institute of Technology student committing suicide for similar reasons. It seems that the tolerance limit for disappointments is being rapidly lowered for today’s youth. Sure, people have been committing suicide for centuries but, up to as recently as 50 years ago, the reasons that drove them to this irrevocable action were far more profound; the death of a child, perhaps, or the prospect of an impossibly bleak future....
My Commentary:
At the risk of over simplification I, like you, suspect that one of the more reasonable and comprehensive explanations for collectively going out in a blaze of glory may well be an insideous attitude to the inevitable experience of frustration.
Frustration is the normal reaction to a missed expectation commonly experienced as a disappointment. The next reaction to frustration is usually aggression (anger). Then this anger is either directed out to some object thought to be the instigator of the frustration in question; and, or the anger is turned in on the self and experienced as depression and or dispair.
In the case of the suicides there is a doubling of the objects of destruction to both the person's external reality and towards his own internal reality. Whether the directed aggression is focused outward or inward the purpose is the same for both.
The purpose is to make a dramatic statement punctuated by as much destruction and chaos as can be achieved in one forceful blow.
The implied attitude of these suiciders with respect to their experience of frustration is more frustration. So the only logical way out of for them to avoid the painful limiting feelings of disappoinment is to opt out of living.
Mature people of any age understand that to attain and sustain meaningful goals requires conviction, stead fastness, patience, determination, harnessing ones energies and focusing them towards a meaningful objective, all directed to engaging in a process in which success if it comes is the result of having struggled with struggle. This process is equivalent to what is called the creative process.
The suididers in my opinion have the moral consciousness of 3 year olds individually and collectively throwing temper tantrums when they don't instantly obtain their objective(s).
I agree they have to learn how to experience the word no - but the key to success is that they have to value using the word no converting its admitted pain into the potentially more highly valued experience of self discipline leading to the joy of mastery.
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Comments: 9
I think the issue goes much deeper than either author has mentioned though. Firoze mentioned that suicides before were "far more profound" like an "impossibly bleak future." I think culture needs to be included in the discussion. In Indian culture, education is in direct correlation with a "bleak future" or a prosperous one. If an Indian student does not scare high enough, that could be seen as a stepping stone to the "more profound" reason of a "bleak future."
Gibbs, in your response, I agree with your evaluation of frustration. I agree that people, in general, are not taking enough personal responsibility for their actions - especially when they hear "no". But, again, culture plays a role in this argument as well. In America, a "C" is "average." Imagine getting a "C" in an Indian or Chinese system though. The scale is much different and a greater emphasis is placed on education. I could see low grades being synonymous with dishonoring the family. The child could be seen as ungrateful for the opportunities that the parents have provided. The child is not living up to the expectations of the parents/ancestors/country/etc. Which is a much heavier burden than a child in America that fails math but aces languages.
Having had thoughts of suicide at one time in life, mine were of the latter variety BUT with the realization that the after affect might wake up another to then realize that there 'was' value in my life (to them) which seemed very unappreciated at the time ... meaning there would have been an aspect of 'I will show them' that they will miss me. So in that regard there may be a modicum of aggression towards others also.
So from personal experience via thoughts ... and subsequent spiritual realizations that more than solved all problems, I now understand better the thinking involved and the difference between those that act out externally as opposed to those INternally. This IS a major difference that our society seems very unaware of. That is also a major factor in where one seeks and receives any potential relief of a spiritual nature also. Not to mention the new path they take should they receive said spiritual relief. External or INternal Spirit, the difference between a world view and a universal view ... quite different the two.
The whole reason that suicides (etc) are contemplated in the first place is due to the frustrations with living the life one finds themselves in, often a 'condition' that seems unresolvable any 'other' way.
The external thinker relates 'first' to the world, if at all spiritual (usually NOT, but maybe religious ... a big difference also) they may do as the Muslim (and other) terrorists do, make a larger statement as a 'martyr' here, expecting a reward 'there' (usually based upon religious dogmatic 'promises') ... an act to get real attention and maybe wake others up to realization of the 'hurt' they have caused in the world by their thought and actions that would contribute to the acts taken in suicidal activities by some. It is all a cry for recognition in most cases, often not so much just a recognition of the one hurting inside, but of the perceived 'problems' in the world that cause such hurt in others ... all of these participants in suicide may well be to some degree or other a 'martyr' to some extent.
Then a few just simply 'want out' with no fan-fare.
I really believe that the frustrations in the first place are caused by the dichotomies in the world about how things 'seem' to be as compared to how we INtuitively think they 'should' be. Our INtuition comes from a deep Spiritual Truth that is 'hidden' INside of each of us ... something implicitly telling us that we should be more free and happier, that many of the rules and outcomes of society are not good for us and are unnecessary in the more Utopian possibility that we were in fact designed and created for. These conflicts between hope and perceived reality outside of us causes much stress (distress) within us, lack of 'ease' sometimes (often) manifesting in disease (dis-ease). maybe one, maybe both, physical or mental. But IT ALL hinges first around the mental, THAT is the a priori cause to any a posteriori effects.
Back to a 'spiritual' cure ... received from 'OUTside' it may or may not have a realized INternal component, but will normally be related to an outside cure such as hope through a religious creed or dogma ... such still 'traps' one back into the world view as opposed to the INside 'cure' of the INternal Soul Spirit of the higher Self which gives one a Cosmic or Universal perspective to relate to.
The latter is what my experience was all about, something more rare and thus less understood, but never the less having a far different outcome than the former.
I could well go into the potential results a whole lot deeper here, but will not bore you all with the details ... but suffice to say there are great differences between the potentials. There is nothing more powerful known to mankind than their Spiritual relationship and some of them are remarkably better than others also.
If I was ruling the world I would insist on all students being exposed to speculative philosophy. They would be forced to ponder the largest questions of life: who am I?, what do I really want? what is really wrth striving for, what is the nature of reality? how to we have knowledge of reality? How do we know our knowledge of reality is valid and the likes.
Such questioning challenges all primary first assumptions and tends to free the critical thinker from the often tragic confines of feeling trapped in ones accidental space-time continuum. It is true that knowledge can indeed be powerful.
I just wonder if suicides after failure have more to do with a self-image which only focuses on success, and when they fail to provide it they cannot face the shame they must live with, and the fact that they now have no perceived value.
It is always the ego self, the self withIN the unknown Self, the higher spiritual Self, that has such problems. It is via societies standards of looking OUTside of self for guidance ... rather than seeking withIN ... that actually causes so much stress in this world where the blind follow the Blind.
Meryl, I see dualistic love as that on a linear scale where it is at and end called 'perfection' and opposed by it's 'opposite' which is FEAR. It is fear that generates hatreds and associated problems.
Indifference could mean many things, frozen in indecision, a cop-out via ignoring options, or even a preference based upon unwanted options on either side already considered and rejected. But not in my mind the opposite of love, that opposite usually involving an associated intention as regards other choices.
Thus based upon what I have said, that 'love' that feels a need to be as far as it can get 'away' from the 'other' end of the scale (whatever resides there), is a love that is CONDITIONAL, that has 'strings' attached, the 'kind' of love that most people are involved with ... a very dualistic kind of love.
God's kind of Love is UNconditional, nonjudgmental ... resides as God ... (could be seen as the very end of a dualistic scale) ... BUT ... is here everywhere IN our here and now just awaiting the recognition. IT is in the very center of each and every TRUTH ... not ONLY at some 'other' extreme.
God is a 3 IN 1 Trinity of (+=-) where the SPIRIT is the (=) attempting to bridge the gap and void (/) of Dualistic MISunderstanding of REAL TRUTH. (+=-) NOT (+/-).
IMnsHO.