by Tricia C.
Member since:
August 8, 2006

First to leave the nest

April 23, 2007 08:24 PM EDT
views: 61 | rating: 9.9/10 (17 votes) | comments: 35

Soon and very soon my oldest will be flying the coop and leaving the nest.  I pray every day that I have taught her all she needs to know while adventuring the real world out there without the protection of my wings.  She is a Senior and in less than 2 months will be graduating and moving on into that big world of ours.

 She has decided to join the Army Reserves and reports within 2 weeks of graduating.  It will be so sad to see her go.  She will not be back until November.  After getting all her training, she will be moving in with grandparents where she is stationed for her weekend duties and attending college.

 She thinks she wants to become a teacher, but is still a bit undecided.  She would make a great teacher and does well with children.

 I know she will do good on her own as she is very independent and dependable.  She is also very mature and has other influences in her life besides my own. (Grandparents, aunts and uncles.)

 I think the hardest part will be to prepare not just myself for her becoming and adult, but her siblings as she will no longer be living in the home.  We have discussed what is gonig to happen with them, but her 5 year old sister just does not understand why her sister must go and has asked to move in with her sister.  Not that things are bad at home, she will just miss her sister greatly.

 What did you do when your child first left home?

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Comments: 35

William M. Apr 23, 2007, 8:31pm EDT
I understand your feeling. I'll bet you have done a good job raising her and she will do great.
Tricia C. Apr 23, 2007, 8:36pm EDT
Thanks William.. I am sure she will do great.. and I am sure I will see things I may have to change on how the other kids are raised so they learn too what is needed when the time is right.
Bexsy R. Apr 23, 2007, 8:37pm EDT
My son is 13 and will be 14 in a few months. he's already researching colleges and is preparing for junior prom & graduation and then will start high school. I still have 4 years left before he goes away and I'm already sad! :)
She wants to serve her country, sounds to me like you've done an outstanding job!
Tricia C. Apr 23, 2007, 8:42pm EDT
Thank you Bexsy.. I am sure you have done a good job with your son too.. keep up the good work and you can manage the next 4 years without much trouble.
Sue * Apr 23, 2007, 8:45pm EDT
My son was the first to leave, and he was so ready. He went 3 hours away to college and was very tired of living at home and our small town. It was actually easy to let him go, and a relief for all of us. My daughter left 2 years later. That was a different story. We had just moved, so I had no friends. With my daughter, we actually hung out together...so, it was like losing a friend and a kid at the same time, plus it was my last child at home. She went a little over an hour away to college, but didn't come home much. The day we dropped her off, I stopped at Panera Bread on the way home, bought 2 huge chocolate things...ate them until I felt sick, went to bed and cried all night. After about 2 weeks, I thought the empty nest was a pretty good thing. She graduates from college in 3 weeks...and moves the next day 1000 miles away. I'll let you know how this feels...I really can't think about it :(
Tricia C. Apr 23, 2007, 8:52pm EDT
OH .. Sue I am sooo sorry... that is soo far away.. Please keep me updated.. yeah my daughter will be in south caroline from june till nov and then only an hour and a half away while in college... I am hoping she does not move further away..
Howard b. Apr 23, 2007, 8:52pm EDT
Hi Trish, My boys moved out . But then again moved back later. I still have one at home now. We now live in duplex. It's a nice one. My wife and I are to soon move to north carolinia. I'm Getting up in years as is my wife. I have seen my mother twice in 17 years . I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. It's been a long time between visits. When we move we will leave behind our 2 sons and a grandson. My sons are 22 and almost 24. But they are still kids to me. It's going to be heartbreaking. But this move is something I feel I have to do. You never know when something might go wrong with your health. I want to see my siblings.All my wifes relatives are gone now except her adopted brother . He lives a couple of hours from here. We might see him once a year. My son is taking over our lease on the duplex. My other son is living with two friends. he is happy where he is. One day they might move up our way. We will see what the future brings.
Larry H. Apr 23, 2007, 8:54pm EDT
She won't be far, and will still be there in your heart. She will call and write.
Sue * Apr 23, 2007, 8:55pm EDT
cell phones make all the difference, they call all day long!
Carol Lloyd Apr 23, 2007, 8:58pm EDT
Took a deep breath and said "job well done, I hope"
Alicia Storey Apr 23, 2007, 9:00pm EDT
my kids are still babies but hopefully they never leave
Tricia C. Apr 23, 2007, 9:05pm EDT
Thank you all for your encouragments.... Im sure we will call and talk and write each other...

Alicia.. I wish we could keep them young forever, but they must grow and move on inevitably.
Sue * Apr 23, 2007, 9:16pm EDT
From an older mom...really, when it is time for them to go-it really is okay. You are ready to have a little freedom again. You miss them very much, but you are glad that they are finding their way.
I am so dreading this day!!!!
Ruth MacGill Apr 23, 2007, 10:56pm EDT
I found it hard to let my daughter go because it is so dangerous out in the world for unportected girls. But actually, I always had a life of my own. I liked the freedom my husband and I had after I became resigned that our kids were all really gone from home. My kids matured in the 60's on California's coast, and it seemed that nothing I did or said deterred them from what they intended to do. I have always felt thhat time of the flower children stole my children from me.
Kristen R. Apr 23, 2007, 11:22pm EDT
I don't have children, but I remember what it was like when I moved out. My mom had a wicked hard time. She is still on me to visit more often.

Good luck to her and the rest of your family.
Tricia C. Apr 23, 2007, 11:45pm EDT
I am hoping it is not too hard..
Randy- Being true to myself Apr 24, 2007, 12:32am EDT
I was sad, happy for their growth, but sad that they were not in the day to day events at home. It is truly a reminder of life growing and changing. The kids leaving home forced me to grow up again....
donna h. Apr 24, 2007, 6:26am EDT
Trish, I have been there. I have two out and two more to go....My second daughter joined the Navy- she signed up while in HS and was on delayed entry program- that June she graduated, turned 18 and left for Boot Camp all in one month. I cried for days.
Charles D. Apr 24, 2007, 6:53am EDT
Trish you must be so proud and of course anxious. Good to hear from you. Just came back from my vacation. Four days without gathering, I survived. Good to be back though. Talk to you soon Trish!!
Michelle W. Apr 24, 2007, 8:57am EDT
It was easy for me to let my daughter go. She was married to a guy that I approved of and lives nearby. It would have been harder if she had moved far away from me. It was hard when my youngest moved in with my parents and they all moved to Florida. I have tried and tried to convince her to move back up here, but she has one year left in high school and is getting her own place since she is 18. She is smart and a good kid, so I won't worry too much.
tina stiles Apr 24, 2007, 11:33am EDT
my children will not be leaving home for awhile as they are only 6 and 4 but i often imagine when that day comes. i do remember my sister leaving. she did the same thing your daughter did. She graduated and left for the Army Reserves within a month. I was older than your youngest, but i still felt awful that my big sis was leaving me. As heartbreaking as it is, take comfort in the fact that your raised your daughter well. She will make you proud, as she will make this country proud.
Tricia C. Apr 24, 2007, 11:42am EDT
I really appreciate all the words of encouragement even though this is gonna be hard... I know we will all make it through it will just be a little tough is all.
Joan B. Apr 24, 2007, 11:45am EDT
The greatest challenge is to understand that you have done the job right. She is capable of success because you have tried your best. Now, that you are not there that upbringing will be a force behind her. Having let go of her you know she can do it on her own. It is an important step towards independence.
Nana to Seven Cutiepies Apr 24, 2007, 11:51am EDT
The first one leaving is so hard. This is where, if you aren't already, you become best friends.
Janna O'Donnell Apr 24, 2007, 12:55pm EDT
It sounds like you've done a great job. Good luck to her and to you.
Karen D. Apr 24, 2007, 2:05pm EDT
To me it sounds like you have done a fine job raising her and giving her all the insight u can. Sounds like she has things pretty well planned for after school. When i meet her she seemed to b a really sweet girl and has her head on straight. Im sure it will b hard to watch her leave but just keep in mind she is only a letter or phone call away. I wish her the best. My son is only 4 so i dont know how its going 2 b when he moves out. Im sure everyone will adjust just fine.
Tricia C. Apr 24, 2007, 2:56pm EDT
Thank you everyone .. she is a great girl and she will do good...

We have been packing her slowly and have moved a few things to grandma and granpas house... it will just be different around here without her physically here... But I know I have not lost her and we can keep in touch.
Jenna S. Apr 26, 2007, 12:22am EDT
Luckily I still have a long way to go yet so unfortunatly I can't offer any insight on that. Good luck to your daughter and the rest of the family. You daughter sounds very prepared and I'm sure she'll be fine.I can only imagine what your going through at the moment.

I didn't have that problem.I was forced out at 16 and then had no choice but to leave my other parent's house at 17. *Too many cheifs and not enough indians..my mom lived with our grandparents and well things were a mess* She's lucky to have a wonderful family and mom who cares about here and will be there to help her out.On a happier note at least she will be with some other family.It should help ease your mind at least a little.
Jennifer P. Apr 30, 2007, 11:26pm EDT
My children are only 7 & 3 years old right now. But when I was 24, I moved in with my boyfriend (who is now my husband) and my 7 year old brother had a really hard time with it. He didn't understand why I couldn't live at home with them forever. A few years later they moved to New Hampshire and he had a tough time with that too. I wound up writing him a letter to open when he got there. It's definitely tough on the little ones with changes likes this.
Cindi P. May 7, 2007, 9:27am EDT
wow 18 and 5! LOL I feel better! Everyone give me a hard time my oldest is 17 1/2 and my youngest 4!
He is planning to go to college in Florida! ; ( long long long way from MI, makes me cry just thinking about it, and i have another year!
Sorry i don't have any advice! Goodluck!
Tricia C. May 7, 2007, 9:43am EDT
Actually.. my youngest is only 2 1/2 years old.... 17.. 10.. 5 and 2
Cindi P. May 30, 2007, 10:00am EDT
I will be facing the same thing in a year! My kids a re all just old eneough to have theior hearts broken when the coolest guy they know goes away to college!

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