by Jen (I'm back for more!) G.
Member since:
August 15, 2006

How old should a child be to be unattended by an Adult?

April 16, 2007 11:49 AM UTC (Updated: April 16, 2007 11:51 AM UTC)
views: 0 | comments: 22

How old should children be to be out on their own? 

On the streets, in a library, at the mall.  How old is old enough?  The library that I work at has a policy that “children 10 years and under must be accompanied by an adult at all times”.  This means an 11 year old child can be there for hours on end, reading, playing the computer, hanging out with friends, eating and drinking out of the snack machine, coming and going from the building as he/she pleases.   

What do you think?

Comments: 22

Jen (I'm back for more!) G. Apr 16, 2007, 11:55am UTC
I think this is a parental decision though I respect the right of businesses and public buildings to have a policy on "unattended minors". I'll probably accompany my own kids until they are 18 years old everywhere! I think 10 years is a bit too young and would feel more comfortable with 14 years old. But in the end, a parent should know his/her own child the best and know what that child is capable of .
Michelle W. Apr 16, 2007, 12:04pm UTC
In the state of NC, a child can be left by themselves at the age of 5! Now how many 5 year olds do you know that can be left alone? I don't know of any. At the age of 13 you can legally kick them out on their own. If they run away, the police will only bring them home ONCE. I think NC has some prety stupid laws concerning children.
Charlene Sharp Apr 16, 2007, 12:27pm UTC
I say 12 years old, for certain activitys like going to the library with friends. They can lock the door and stay home too at that age. After being taught the importance of following the rules you set down.
carmel m. Apr 16, 2007, 12:40pm UTC
This really is a every child is different circumstance.
Some children through their own life experience are far more or far less mature then their peers. 10 is a good age to "let them come & go within limits in an enviroment that is well know to them.
Emily Vaughan Apr 16, 2007, 12:45pm UTC
You have to know your child. When I was 11 I not only could be left alone but I was the neighborhood babysitter and took care of everyone's kids. But I've met many 20 somethings that I barely trust by themselves let alone to leave them in charge of my kids. There really isnt an age at which kids magically mature; you have to see it coming and nurture it with responsibility and priveledge otherwise they may never be.

Was that helpful at all?
Jen (I'm back for more!) G. Apr 16, 2007, 2:06pm UTC
Emily- I was babysitting in 6th grade (I guess about 11 years old) and some people didn't come home till 3 o'clock in the morning. Maybe things are different today (or we are more aware of the dangers in our world). Your comments are very helpful.

Charlene- "going to the library with friends." Yes, I do think this makes a difference. There is safety in numbers.

So far most of you seem to agree that it depends on each individual child. I just find it amazing that a library has to have a policy like this in place because we have already had circumstances where parents "drop" their 7 year olds off for a program or to get some books and they want to come back in an hour to pick them up!
Anne Marie A. Apr 16, 2007, 2:35pm UTC
I don't think you can put a specific age on this. Every child and situation is different. I might trust my children but I don't trust other people and I am not going to risk their lives or safety at the age of 11.
Anne Marie A. Apr 16, 2007, 2:37pm UTC
So I don't have an age that I could answer for this question
Rob Appell Apr 16, 2007, 4:01pm UTC
A parent should know a child better than anyone else and knows their maturity level in determining at what age they can be left alone. Also, the setting where the child is being left alone in should be taken into consideration. An 11 year old usually does well in a library with things to keep them occupied and an adult figure to keep an eyes open for them. I would not allow an 11 year old to go by hereself to meet friends at a Mc Donalds. It all has to be taken on an invidual basis.
Jennifer G. Apr 16, 2007, 11:37pm UTC
I also think it depends on the child. My sister has left my 13 1/2 year old nephew alone since he was 11 years old to get himself ready for school and to take care of himself afterwards while his then 6 year old brother went to daycare. It has definitely not worked out for him. He is into all kinds of trouble because of this. But even without this situation I cannont imagine leaving my oldest alone by herself for more than 15 - 30 minutes at a time before she is 14 years old. And even then I am not sure. I think in certain situations you are just inviting trouble by doing this. I see 3rd graders walking over a mile home by themselves across very busy streets and cannot imagine letting my daughters do this. I guess I really don't have an answer for a good age. It depends on the child, the parents and the situation.
Kelly E. Apr 17, 2007, 2:31pm UTC
I can see leaving a child unattended in a library at 10 or 11yrs, but I would not leave the library. I would definitely not feel comfortable leaving my child there for hours on end even at 15.
I'm often accussed of being an overly protected mom! LOL My oldest son is 12. We live in a very rural community. I often leave him home while I run to town to shop, pay bills, etc......He is not allowed to cook, unlock the door, go outside or talk on the (except to me), or be online in my absence. When we go to the ball park he is allowed to go off to the other fields or sit in the bleacherswith his friends. however he has to check in with me every 1/2 and a phone call won't cut it...it has to be in person......he also has a cell phone and he better answer EVERY time I call! Now, on to younger son......he will probably be 37 before I can trust him to be on his own! LMAO
Jennifer F. Apr 18, 2007, 2:17am UTC
I have the same rules as Krissy and I also have a 12-year old son. As for being in a library unattended at age 11, my parents routinely dropped me off until they finished work at 9:00 in the evening at the public library. Nothing bad happened in all those years, but I cringe when I now think of all the things that could have happened. I could have left, someone could have taken me, the scenarios are almost endless.
Lori F. Apr 18, 2007, 2:19am UTC
I sometimes wonder whether my 18 year old should be left by herself?
Gretchen Lee Bourquin Apr 18, 2007, 5:25am UTC
Like everyone else says-- it depends on the child's maturity level. It also makes a difference when they are with others-- even if it is other kids because there is some real validity in the whole "safety in numbers" theory. Ten is probably an appropriate age to have a "policy." but if the parents have deemed a child mature enough to handle the situation, the library has the right to expect them to behave.

As for the safety issues-- of course we have to be careful, but there is a fine line between setting limits to keep your child "safe" and setting limits that keep your child "limited." With media coverage oozing out of every pore of society we get a distorted view of danger sometimes.

I worry more about the kid who is "babysat" until he is 18 and goes off to college or into the world with no idea how to care for himself, or worse yet the 30 year old that can't get up the courage to leave home because he can't do his own laundry.
Allison M. Apr 18, 2007, 10:17pm UTC
I live in a small town that is considered to be extremely "safe." I have a friend who allows her five year old to run around the block unattended to friends' or relatives' houses. I am very, very uncomfortable with this. I have a five and eight year old and am still not ready to let them go and most likely will not be ready when they are 10. It seems to me that parents are very eager to cut their ties or lengthen the leash as they put it and are practically forcing this "freedom" on kids who really are probably still looking for boundaries. Soon enough my boys will be telling me to get lost but for now I am holding on tight...
Jennifer, I think it was okay for us to be left like you at the library and me at the skating rink at a younger age, because the times were safer and things were different. Life was slower. I wish my kids could slow down and enjoy their childhood as much as I did mine!
sherry m. Apr 20, 2007, 11:27am UTC
i dont know i think 15 but...
Jan S. Feb 9, 2008, 11:33pm UTC
In Michigan, 12 year olds can be left home without adults. It depends on the child.
I think the world was much safer back when there was a mom home in every house.
Now, it's not safe to leave kids out alone.

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