Hmmm - but I am working so hard to say yes to "Grace" -- will need to ponder this, chew on it, mull it over, which is what I do with all good poetry, and then come back to comment again.
Lots of open space for us to breathe our own lives into this poem, Faith! For example, my silver content is replacing not gold but copper, so I *ought* to be increasing in value, somehow...
Inspiration is renewed with fresh adages and proverbs such as these.
I no little of this type of writing, but they have worked their purpose on me.
I am most impressed with, "mirrors whisper your mother's name." It causes me to look in the mirror and see the similarities in both my mother and daughter. Very well done.
You know girls, until I came to Gather I did not like poetry and yet three months ago I made a pact with myself that I would read at least three poems a day and try to figure out what the person was saying. Both my boys are adept at this "literary pursuit"...God only knows where they got it from...maybe from me reading reluctantly Shel Silverstein's "Where the Sidewalks End" from cover to cover a thousand times. But nevertheless, I trudge forward....
Tonight it took me two readings to figure out what was going on in "Saving Grace"...and when I did, I called Zach and had him read the poem, and said "I figured this out, she's looking in the mirror and she sees her Mom's face...she doesn't want to grow old...that's it", He just laughed at me and said I was ready for the nursing home!
Goyana, Faith, for being a good teacher and stretching me in ways I know not.
Dannielle, copper! yes, seems to be the fine metal, you are depreciating...help!
Douglas, thank you, that line speaks loud to me.
And finally, elizabeth, I am proud that you have found me and my posey here. Please don't tell Will, he's light years ahead of me in this genre. This is my simple lashing out at the mirror.
Wonderful! Perhaps "Will's stuff is way beyond" you on a consistent basis, but maybe every once in a while, as in this piece, you find your own voice which none can duplicate or surpass. I hope you will consider the possibility. This is a very powerful, "stand on its own" poem.
Robb, thanks so much. I was referring to elizabeth's son, Will Evans, who is a Gather legend...one of the founders of the pre-sim movement along with John Walter, Ed Nudelman and others of powerful talent. I learn so much from them.
There's hope for me yet...Will started out on Dr. Seus' book "Green Eggs and Ham"...by two, he had the whole thing memorized as we traveled up and down the Alcan (Alaska Highway) every summer.
Ok, well I came back. Here's the thing. I will never know how my mother would have aged as she died at the age of 39. I am standing on the threshold of that, and want to watch those wrinkles set in, and those gray hairs show up. There is so much living yet to be done, and each new line tells a story. Hmm, see - I told you I would think about this. Embrace it all Faith, for it is a grace to have each new day.
Perhaps, Faith, mirrors whisper your mother's name also means that it is not you being reflected - you are still young, bright-eyed and bushy tailed. After all:
Stay lithe, be supple, say to the Graces, No
embraces youth and says nay to the graces that come with ageing.
Silver outweighs gold can mean that silver hair, or wisdom, is more valuable than gold. Which you want, because:
Pretend to not want the imposed wisdom.
the wisdom is more valuable.
Finally,
It's the face that signals deceit
Would an invited guest be so kind to us?
brings us to other interpretations: are you kinder to yourself than an invited guest; is your mother kinder....
All in all, excellently done, my friend - easily worthy of 10 stars.
I broke my self-imposed rule of not critiquing a creative work (at university, unending critical analysis almost killed my then newly found love of poetry) because this poem of only five couplets has so much buried in it. Deceptively so. And, besides, I needed to kick-start the old brain cells. However, I will now revert once more to my policy of not critiquing, per se.
You're most welcome, my friend. As a poet, you're getting better and better and better - see what practise and a bit of self-confidence can do? Before I know it, you'll be posting learned critiques on my work. LOLO
And more power to you! Spread those wings and fly, Faith, as you're meant to.
Faith, this is absolutely wonderful. I, myself, do see my mother in the mirror each morn. All else I can say to this amazing piece of poetry is WOW!!!!
This is great, Faith. I see my mother, sometimes, even though I really look more like my father...I have her skin and hair and FEET, which is scary. I've lost the battle with the freckles and I miss my auburn hair.
Faith, very well written. Such great metaphors. As Liz, says, most of us would welcome the wisdom without all that goes with it, but, heh...it beats the alternative, no?
We are not alone in this aging world. Every cycle has its yin and yang and ultimately we are all one. Your lovely poem reaffirms our connection in the natural process of life. You are indeed, a star!
I've come back to this at least 3 times, Faith. The poem says a lot of things to me and Magi brought a lot of them out.
Your poem also helped me realize that we have the opportunity to age together with millions of women through the Internet as well as real life associations. I imagine how difficult it must have been for previous generations to age without much support.
Donna, this enables us to grasp what we really never expected to happen even though we knew in our heart of hearts it would. I wish Magi would do more of that critique of my work, she's brilliant at it despite her disclaimer. You are right, it's great to have the support we offer each other. Thanks, again!!
faith - i always love your poems, this one is no exception. i don't mind aging - i have so many scars on my body that wrinkles look tame in comparison. :)
Faith I was really taken back by the "wisdom" literature form you used here. Each stanza was an exploration in itself and unique amongst the set. These are brilliant and exactly the kind of reading I can sink my teeth into. Thank you so much.
Oh - I forgot the tell you my favorite verse. "Silver outweighs gold / as if it were more valuable." At least three applications come to mind, but one stands out; when a child chooses a penny over a dime because it is bigger.
Douglas, you are so kind. The insight you give me on my own piece contribute to the growth of this finicky craft. Thank you. And that line "Silver outweighs gold" was the first to come to mind, so I worked around that.
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Comments: 50
Nicely wrought.
I no little of this type of writing, but they have worked their purpose on me.
I am most impressed with, "mirrors whisper your mother's name." It causes me to look in the mirror and see the similarities in both my mother and daughter. Very well done.
I give them a strong KAPOW!
Tonight it took me two readings to figure out what was going on in "Saving Grace"...and when I did, I called Zach and had him read the poem, and said "I figured this out, she's looking in the mirror and she sees her Mom's face...she doesn't want to grow old...that's it", He just laughed at me and said I was ready for the nursing home!
Goyana, Faith, for being a good teacher and stretching me in ways I know not.
Douglas, thank you, that line speaks loud to me.
And finally, elizabeth, I am proud that you have found me and my posey here. Please don't tell Will, he's light years ahead of me in this genre. This is my simple lashing out at the mirror.
beauty, levity, spirit...
you have them all in abundance...
and if that's what you see in the mirror,
so did mom.
ahh, I don't want to have them grow old either.
My mother was a grace to the end. I can only wish.
Stay lithe, be supple,
say to the Graces, No
embraces youth and says nay to the graces that come with ageing.
Silver outweighs gold can mean that silver hair, or wisdom, is more valuable than gold. Which you want, because:
Pretend to not want
the imposed wisdom.
the wisdom is more valuable.
Finally,
It's the face that signals deceit
Would an invited guest
be so kind to us?
brings us to other interpretations: are you kinder to yourself than an invited guest; is your mother kinder....
All in all, excellently done, my friend - easily worthy of 10 stars.
Magi, you've done a wonderful critique, bringing words of wisdom to my piece and opening up many more possibilities to it than I even saw. Thank you.
I broke my self-imposed rule of not critiquing a creative work (at university, unending critical analysis almost killed my then newly found love of poetry) because this poem of only five couplets has so much buried in it. Deceptively so. And, besides, I needed to kick-start the old brain cells. However, I will now revert once more to my policy of not critiquing, per se.
And more power to you! Spread those wings and fly, Faith, as you're meant to.
Steve, I don't think he has anything to worry about...
Because I have nothing intelligent to say I thought I'd let Oscar Wilde comment for me.
Your poem also helped me realize that we have the opportunity to age together with millions of women through the Internet as well as real life associations. I imagine how difficult it must have been for previous generations to age without much support.
You are right, it's great to have the support we offer each other.
Thanks, again!!
Truth in packaging...Drat!
I love this look at ourselves in your excellent poem.
Barbary, we are in good company, yes?
Aileen, ouch, but you have a beautiful mirror.
I was really taken back by the "wisdom" literature form you used here. Each stanza was an exploration in itself and unique amongst the set. These are brilliant and exactly the kind of reading I can sink my teeth into. Thank you so much.
At least three applications come to mind, but one stands out; when a child chooses a penny over a dime because it is bigger.