Man Of Many Hats

      Over the course of my adult life, which started at the age of 15, I've held down a variety of jobs over the years; some weren't my cup of tea and I moved on; others were fun and interesting and I hung on to them awhile.  I'm not a bad employee and like to immerse myself into whatever I do.  Sometimes, I try to make improvements attempting to find a better or easier way to do things whether by suggestion or implementation; the latter not always to the pleasure of the boss seeing how my ideas weren't cleared through them first.  I'm not so much into the grunt work and physical labor, preferring to use my mind.  Even on jobs where I actually had to work for my money, I would always try to come up with ways to lessen my efforts.

      My very first job was that of head waiter at a somewhat higher class restaurant; at least for where I live.  It was a new place about to open for business.  It was called "Elsie's", named after the Borden company's mascot cow who was born at that location.  The original barn had been converted and filled with several hundred thousand dollars worth of antiques related to farming.  Some of the stalls in back were designed into quaint, secluded spaces where a quite dinners for two to eight could be enjoyed in relative privacy.  Two large dining rooms were in the front of the building with the bar and cocktail lounge seperating the two areas  I had all intentions of getting a job there as a dishwasher due to my young age.  While standing in line to fill out an applications, I heard the conversations of others and it appeared they were in more need of servers than anything; especially waiters.  Having eaten in restaurants many times, it was a simple enough thing to do so it seemed. 

      There would be a maitre'd to seat the customers, give them their menus and inform them of the nightly specials.  A busboy would fill their water glasses and bring them fresh-baked mini loaves of bread.  It was my job to take drink and meal orders and cater to their every need while they were our guests.  I'd serve the cocktails and place their food in front of them.  The busboy would carry the trays of food and hold them while I put the meals in the proper spots.  After taking dessert orders and bringing after dinner drinks, I'd present them with their bill and my job was done.  The restaurant only lasted about a year with a massive fire consuming the structure late one night.  It was blamed on an electrical short in one on the rear dining stalls giving the blaze time enough to take hold before it was even discovered.  We all had other suspicions seeing how we noticed the vast majority of the antiques weren't present as firefighters battled the flames...and the fire had broken out the night we were closed allowing a day's time to remove as much as possible before the building was torched.  We could never possibly prove what we suspected, so we all just moved on.

      From there, I've tried my hand at many different jobs; custodian, grounds keeper, general laborer, pizzaria/sub shop manager, flower shop customer service representative, night manager of a soda fountain/kid's hangout and game room, physical education teacher and sports coach, baseball complex public address announcer, running my own delivery service, manager of a non-alcohol club and concert hall, on-air radio personality, operator of my own band management agency, bartender, chef's assistant, retail store employee, telemarketer and more.  I like a challenge and once I've conquered a job, I get a bit bored and start looking to move on.  A few jobs just weren't my bag and I had no desire to stay, so I'd search elsewhere for gainful employment.

      Being on the air in radio was one of those careers where I was able to get my hands into every aspect of the industry and through on-the-job experience, I mastered everything there was to accomplish.  I started out hosting an on-air shift and branched out from there; sports broadcast color man and commentator, newscaster, meteorologist, talk show host, interviewer, news writer, commercial creation and production...I could do it all.  I enjoyed my time in radio as there was so much to learn and do, but even that got boring after awhile and I felt it was time to move on long before I finally left.

      After a couple years of bartending at two large clubs in the area, I landed a job right in the town where I lived just a block from my home.  It was a combination business; pizzaria/sub shop on one side downstairs opening up to a full Italian-American restaurant through an archway on the other side with a bar and dance club located upstairs on the second level.  It was owned and poorly run by an odd, little guy who came here from New York City.  No offense to those of Italian descent, but he was a typical "guido" who thought he was "big city Mafia"  coming to "Little Italy" to take over.  The truth is, he was no more than a joke who spent his profits downing bottles of Jack Daniels and sticking cocaine up his nose.  That was ultimately his downfall and why he ended up skipping town and losing the entire place.

      When I began working there, I was hired as a part time bartender several nights a week.  The restaurant wasn't all that busy and it wasn't the type of bar that had a crowd hanging out into the night.  There were slow nights when I was lucky if I made a couple dozen cocktails in addition to opening some bottles of beer and pouring soda for diners.  Obviously, tips those nights were hardly worth showing up to work for, espeically when I was used to hauling in big bucks from being at high-profile places prior.  When a part time delivery position opened up for the pizzaria portion of the business, I took that job as well.  Some days, I'd deliver food during the lunch hour and early afternoon, then switch over to bartending late afternoon into the evening hours.  On a rare occassion before the dinner delivery guy would show up, there would be an order that would have to go out, so I'd slip from behind the bar to make a quick run and come back to serving drinks again.

      The owner had been siphoning funds out of the club upstairs to support his habits and that eventually closed about the time I started working there.  He and I had discussed re-organizing, hiring new deejays and getting the place hopping again with me in charge.  That was a short-lived plan when I found out he expected me to invest my money into it.  I pointed out I didn't have "Stupid" written across my forehead...spend my money so he could steal it and shove it up his nose.  I don't think so, Frankie babe!  That idea fell by the wayside and I decided to concentrate on the jobs at hand.  He couldn't be trusted as either business was getting slower or he was embezelling even more to buy his white powder.  He started cutting back on the number of employees and closed the restaurant yet another night leaving it open Wednesday through Sunday.  The pizzaria was open seven days a week.

      One evening, I ended up having the time of my life there.  Too bad it was only one night out of the many I was employed at this place.  It was an off evening when the restaurant was closed and I was delivering on the pizzaria side filling in for one of the regular guys who took the evening off for whatever reason.  A party of six showed up for dinner and found the restaurant door locked with all the lights off.  They entered through the pizzaria and were informed it was a new change of hours.  They were quite disappointed as they had dined there before and had driven almost 45 minutes to have an small anniversary get-together for one of the couples.  With it being somewhat slow since it was early in the week, I discussed the situation with the cook and felt it was a shame to have to disappoint these people.  I volunteered to take care of their "private party" if he'd be willing to whip them up whatever they wanted.

      Being the clown that I am, I informed the folks that I was Rob, the maitre'd.  We just had a cancellation and would be able to seat them after all.  I turned the restaurant lights on low, seated them at a spacious table right in the middle of the room and lit the candles on their table.  I, then, introduced myself as Rob and told them I'd be bussing their table; then busied myself setting out silverware and filling their water glasses.  I promply left the dining room, put a black apron on and returned; this time introducing myself as Rob, their waiter for the night.  I took their cocktail orders and left again, removing my apron and draping a black towel over my arm while I slipped behind the bar from the opposite end.  As I served their cocktails, I introduced myself once again...as Rob the bartender.  That got a chuckle out of the group.  After setting their drinks in front of them, I scurried to the back, set down the towel and put the apron back on and returned to take their meal orders.  Before I headed to the kitchen, I reminded them of my name and told them to feel free to call any one of me if they needed anything else...another round of laughter.

      While in the kitchen, I was informed a delivery had come in and was ready to leave.  Before running to my car outside the back door, I went to my table to serve salads and let them know Rob, the delivery driver, had a quick trip across town to drop off an order and assured them he'd be back in 5 minutes before their main course was ready.  True to my word, I walked back in with apron on as they were finishing and asked if they'd care for another cocktail.  They ordered another round, so one Rob left and another Rob appeared to bring them their drinks; then Rob the busboy cleared away their salad plates.  That Rob left the room and the first Rob came back with their meals.  They dined and chatted and seemed to enjoy themselves.  Upon finishing, busboy Rob cleared the table.  They declined an after-dinner treat, but Rob the waiter insisted that Rob, the dessert chef, had prepared something for this special occassion...Happy Anniversary to all on the house...and combination chocolate and vanilla canollis were passed out all around.  After they were presented with their bill, I left and returned as maitre'd Rob to make sure everything had been to their satisfaction and take their payment to the register for them.  After bidding them good night and wishing them a safe drive home, the gentleman at the head of the table slipped a fifty dollar bill into my hand...and told me to make sure I split it with Rob...$10 each for the maitre'd, busboy, waiter, bartender and dessert chef.

      You can't beat a night like that...having fun while entertaining others.  And you can't beat a tip like that, either.  I had a great time and wouldn't mind doing something like that again.  Anyone know of a business I can wear many hats and be a comedian on the job at the same time?  I'll take it!