As you’ve probably heard Walt Disney World and Disneyland have changed their policy, to allow gay and lesbian couples access to any of the wedding packages it has long provided for straight couples. In many ways, this move by a company often viewed as extremely conservative for the strict appearance rules its theme park employees must adhere to, says more about what America really thinks of gay marriage than a lot of the political noise we’ve been subjected to over the last several years. That said, Disney has been an increasing proponent of civil rights – they also offer same sex partner benefits for employees, something far more important than the fact that they air Ellen DeGeneres’s television show or allow the “Gay Day” celebration at their theme parks.
Disney’s support, however gradual, of equal rights for LGBTQ people helps make an important specific statement, as well as an important general one, and provides an opportunity for me, and many other gay people, to remind the broader community that we are not your minstrel show.
Inflammatory words? Think again.
Do you enjoy entertainers like Ellen DeGeneres? Elton John? Television shows like Will & Grace? Less politely, are you a straight man who enjoys adult entertainment featuring two women being sexual together? Or a straight woman or enjoys the same featuring men?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, then you'd better be able to answer yes to the next ones:
Do you support equal rights for gays and lesbians? Do you support our right to marry our partners, regardless of gender? to raise children? to inherit property, to pay taxes, to obtain health insurance, to move into the house next door to you – all just like you do?
Because if you don’t, and as incomprehensible as it seems to me, and no doubt many of you, there are lots of people who don’t, you are saying something appalling. You are saying that I’m good enough to keep you amused, but not good enough to have the same rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. You’re saying you’re happy to have me around as a circus animal, but not as a human being at your dinner table. You’re not just ghettoizing gay people, but saying that we are disposable and less than human. And my calling this offensive doesn’t even really begin to cover the chill I feel in my bones when I run into this attitude – which I have, not just from strangers and Internet acquaintances, but from people I had planned to call friend.
For me, the issue is doubly personal. After all, I make my living as a performer and entertainer – I’m an actor and a writer and a director and a dancer and so forth. And creating work that is fun or that matters and pays my bills is hard enough without worrying if the king is going to chop off my head if I don’t keep him laughing. That’s what dealing with so much of America’s hypocrisy towards gay entertainers is like.
So, kudos to Disney for taking one more step in the right direction. Hopefully it will help more people realize how ridiculous this whole equal marriage rights debate has been and continues to be, as well as encourage more people to look at members of the queer community as full human beings instead of creatures only fit for certain purposes.
If you enjoy me or what I do, you have to want me to enjoy my life. It’s that simple.
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Comments: 66
I am amazed that Disney is as foreward thinking as all this... I remember when men with long hair weren't allowed in.
I am more willing to answer "yes" to the second set of questions than the first! Long live diversity!
And yes, I do support your right to marry, adopt, etc.
Seriously, I told someone I was writing about Disney and gay weddings and they asked if the article was going to be called "Gay People: No Longer Hip"
Because the music and the dancing are better.
And, if you're a woman, at a gay bar you won't get hit on by all the icky horndogs who assume that if you're dancing in a bar, you must be for sale.
Nice article, Racheline. I always enjoy your writing. It's well-thought-out and logical.
TK
One of the musicians I have the chance to hear, visit with, and even sing with is Amy Carol Webb. She wrote a song entitled "Narrow Places" and I wish it was on the airwaves everywhere. Mary Travers and Holly Near did a duet on Sally Fingerett's "Home is Where the Heart Is". In both cases, the songwriter speaks to the difference between love and "accepted" rules of behavior. In both cases, being "right" has nothing to do with love and respect.
Love and justice require that we all *stop and think* -- and in today's experience of instantaneous communication, sound bytes, and immediate gratification, few have even noticed how little thinking they do.
I hope that your article changes at least one mind.
I have to respond to one of the comments from up near the top.
"Great article. I only watched Will and Grace once or twice and couldn't sit through it because of the gay stereotyping (at least that's how it seemed to me).
And yes, I do support your right to marry, adopt, etc.
Wendy R. commented Apr 7, 2007 "
Wendy- I think the way the two gay men starring on the show are written show diversity in character just like any straight characters are written. One of them is stereotypically "a fruity gay man" and the other is more laid back and "hetro" acting/looking. There are some of the less evil stereotypes poked fun at, but overall I think it is a really not harmful show that brings out diversities in gay men as well as being very funny without hurting feelings.
I for one would love to know what gay people think of the show...
Though I have to say, I'm a little surprised that Disney did this. I know they've been a gay-friendly company for a long time, but still. Wow.
I answered "yes" to your questions, even though I don't enjoy any of those TV shows. I am a big fan of Elton John, though. "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" and "Tumbleweed Connection" are among the best rock albums ever.
Joe T. - You have nailed it again. I need a course on how you get to as many articles as you do, and manage to hit the target, again and again. Of course, you don't write "War and Peace" in your comment every time, as I am want to do.
In honor of our (Joe and Me) Chicagoland base of operations, I'll quote Mayor Richard M. Daley, who is a very strong supporter of gay rights, who said simply, "the enemy of marriage is divorce."
I want this type of issue to get past the Gay/Lesbian-Sexual Orientation roadblock. The issue is about people, and all people deserve to be happy as long as no one else is being harmed.
Thanks for the intelligent article.
Namaste, Wayne
First of all, we know your beliefs because we're able to see them all over the rest of Gather.
Secondly, this is about the third or fourth article I've read by Racheline and just once I'd like to see this courtesy done to her: can someone who disagrees with her stance on gay rights actually ADDRESS what she is talking about? No one seems to comment on the actual content of her work, they just state their beliefs for the hundreth time without backing themselves up or relating it to the subject at hand. Even when she ASKS what people think about gay marriage, they somehow manage to Bible thump while simultaneously being on and off topic. It's bizarre.
Thirdly, not only will gay people have relationships and adopt children regardless of whether or not they get married - but there are numerous studies that show children of gay parents turn out no differently than children of straight parents. The one child of a lesbian mother I knew (my peer) was smart, funny, popular, and grew up to win the Silver Knight Award which is one of the most prestigious awards for young adults in Florida. The only way her mother influenced her is that she, too, became a supporter of gay rights.
Not that the hundred other times I've stated this to people have even prompted further intelligent discussion, much less changed minds. But seriously, people, come on.
What I am starting to be a bit curt about is how often people feel the need to enter these articles about gay rights, barely even look at the subject, and proceed to throw their opinion around whether or not it's intelligent, well-formed, or relevant to the conversation. And when I try and engage in some debate in order to further understand a position that, legally and researchwise, makes ZERO sense to me - either the points I've made are ignored and they keep talking, or the person leaves the conversation and I don't hear from them again until they pop up in another thread saying the same thing.
No, you're not the only one taking part in this, and you don't do all of these things personally, you just happen to be the one I'm commenting on first. But it's frustrating when I genuinely want to understand this other perspective and nothing is forthcoming. I'm tempted to write a Gather article of my own, but part of me is too afraid of it turning into Racheline's article asking for everyone's opinion: a lot of yelling and very few people actually listening to each other throughout the discussion.
Other than that, I fancy myself fairly polite, and I am not sure what Don is talking about. He might want to expect argumentation because he clearly seeks out controversial topics and is not bashful with his own opinions. It is interesting that he is no bible thumper. We have every grade and shade of opinion here and it is amazing how many lines are crossed.
Nice post Racheline. I only wish I could believe that Disney could be trusted. They are, after all, owned by the "American Taliban" and I doubt this is sincere. Although there is a small hope they may yet be dragged into the twentieth century.
In response to Jan Goldfield's comment way up at the top...
Another thing I think of. When I was younger and a bar denizen, I had straight friends who would ask to come to a gay bar. I always asked why
I can't speak for any of those she encountered but I know for me the 'gay' social clubs in my home town had the best dance music, were relatively "safe" for a straight female to frequent and it's where the majority of my friends at that time hung out! In those days I was going through some heavy emotional chaos and the people who's friendship and support that got me through many a difficult episode were all gay. It was totally unusual, at least in my life up to that point, to have people who thought of me as being a very 'together' person (at least with respect to knowing what I wanted to do with my life) and some one who was worthy of their admiration and respect. They taught me about a whole new world and gave me emotional support when things got a little beyond my ability to cope, my escort to my nursing school graduation was one of these guys and on several occasions when one of the guys needed a 'date' for a company function I returned the favor. (we're talking very early eighties in a small rather conservative city!) I've lost many of my earlier friends to HIV and the passage of time, change of venue etc. but in my mind some of the happiest times of my early adulthood were spent with my 'gay' friends. In fact the happiest Christmas I'd ever had up to that point was the one where I worked nights at the local hospital, got off work at 7:30am, spent the morning with my family, left before the shouting began, slept a few hours and had an "orphan's" Christmas with the guys before going back to work.
When I first moved to Texas in 1990 one of the few 'ties' to my previous life was the comedy show "The Kids in the Hall"... The opening scene shows the street car that I rode to work almost every day for eight years.
Sorry...still working on my first cup of coffee for the day and tend to ramble... back to the point of your article... I've attended a couple of clandestine 'Gay' weddings in the past and would be very happy to see those unions brought out of the shadows and welcomed in the light of the so-called "real" world.
I am curious, though, why people are often insulted when someone misidentifies their sex, most often because they have a gender-neutral name like Jan, Jean or Alex. I am always a bit mystified by this because I don't think there is anything wrong with being a man or a woman, just like I don't think there is anything wrong or shameful about being straight, gay, transgendered, blue-eyed, dark-skinned, depressed, autistic or mentally challenged. For example, someone on a mailing list once thought that I was a Female-To-Male transman because one of my nicknames is "Joey" (I also go by Jo, and either works for me). I was a little surprised, but I wasn't upset. I always wonder why people would be!
Nothing at all against you, Kathleen! Please don't think that. What you had to say about assumptions just lead me off on a tangent.
Also, would it surprise people to know that there are quite a few gay conservatives? Especially in so-called "Red States"? Who are conservative because they agree with most or all of the Republican party's platform? Who may even not support gay marriage? Because not every gay person does, you know.
I'm not saying those are my beliefs, but just putting it out there.
You sure do don't you Don? In fact, you put it out there quite a lot and you hang out with us an awful lot I'd say.
Is there some secret you'd like to ah... talk about about Don?
My only quibble with the article is that Disney is a follower, not a leader. And I don't think they deserve a lot of praise for doing what is a matter of common decency. They already prospered right through a Southern Baptist boycott a few years ago -who else will pretend that they can affect Disney?
When half the Fortune 500 companies are offering full equality including spousal benefits fo queer employees, and a huge majority of Americans support civil unions (a majority don't like "marriages", but the young do, and the older folks are changing rapidly) Disney is not taking any risks.
While I am not minimizing stupid and reactionary blowback from scared and insecure people ("Hi Jon and Cindy"), urban, educated, and young people (and most of the folks who know queer folks) are comfortable with Gay, lesbian, Bi, people.
Republicans, who use scare tactics about Gay Rights to secure the support of the 25% of Americans who have real issues with diversity, have made this a bigger controversy than it needs to be.
Not to say that there isn't a lot of work to do with the 25 % of traditionalists and closet cases, but the environment for gay and lesbian folks has improved (and continues to improve) enormously in the past fifteen years.
Good job Racheline.
Oh, and Chris W. re: 'I am only saying what the scientists are saying only they do not spend their time on gather- too busy figuring out science.' .... Don't be too sure about that. We occasionally come up for air and check in from time to time. After all, we have to at least come see how badly we are misquoted don't we?
btw was there a "Team Recruitment Day" that I missed? I don't remember EVER making a conscious decision about my sexual orientation (other than to follow yearnings that were already there). The same is true of gay friends I've talked to.
I have chosen to commit myself to living with one man for the rest of my life. Anyone who makes the same choice (ie marriage) should celebrate the hell out of it, and continue to nurture and celebrate that choice, be they gay, straight, or somewhere in between.
My marriage can be threatened by a lot of things, but none of them is others' desire to be married, too.
;)
When you wish upon a star
it don't matter what you are
straight or gay it's all the same
disney weddings are really lame
Gay rights are seen as "liberal" because the more liberal interpretation of said rights is the one that includes non-straights. However, there is a strong libertarian (classically socially conservative) argument that takes a hands-off approach. The sad thing is that there is such a pervasive denial in this country that discrimination is occurring when two people of the same gender are not allowed to marry. Somehow those state constitutional amendments are supposed to matter, but no one would ever defend the prospect of an amendment that read "Marriage is to be between two white people only". Fact of the matter is the right to marriage between two people exists, and in denying members of the same sex marriage licenses, this right is being denied both of those people, & thus it's discrimination.
Nice lyric, Shelley!
Will & Grace had it's ups & downs, but I still liked it. How many prime time shows starred a gay lawyer? But I guess a straight man playing a gay lawyer is about the closest I'll see to a male bisexual lawyer such as myself.
Ellen D. can be funny, but I'm just not all that into her. Definitely NOT an Elton John fan.
But thanks Racheline for writing an article & thusly garnering some discussion. Eventually, Disney's same sex marriage ceremonies will offer a legal marriage as part of the package -- legal recognitions of same-sex marriages is inevitable. The reall question is how to bring this about as soon as possible.
It's a well deserved, all be it dubious, honour. This was/is an important starting point for further civil (pay attention Don and Jesse!) discussion on same-sex unions/marriage... whatever. Even though Disney's motives are suspect the fact that one of the mainstream bastions of "family" values and entertainment is willing to acknowledge gay unions is a definite indicator of a shift in public thinking and possible future legislation against discrimination for any reason!
However, I've been reading a lot of you, Racheline. (Several of your regular commentors are people I tend to LISTEN to when they speak up.) I want to show my support of what you're working so hard toward, and to add my voice when I have an intelligent thought.
So I'm sending you a connection request and 1/4 point to help the cause.
(A few people have mentioned gay music. This is a little off subject, but are you familiar with Meg Christian's song, "Ode to a Gym Teacher"? I was privileged to watch her perform it and other songs in a small club in Upstate New York. It's one of my favorite songs and favorite memories. She was a pioneer in performing women's music.) I wish you the best in your own career.
Aaron P. - I know Ministers of different faiths, (Methodist, Lutheren, etc.) who perform Commitment Ceremonies all the time for gay couples. The ceremonies are done in a Church. The first one I went to was 21 years ago. They aren't legal in the eyes of the Government, but they aren't fantasy. In the eyes of the people pledging their commitment to each other, their guests, and the Minister, the ceremonies are as real and sacred as any legal marriage. A commitment to love, honor, and stay faithful to your partner can be made with or without the Government's blessing. It would be really nice if the Unions were legalized like everyone elses.
Bottom line, it sounds like this is an attempt by disney to make money by peddling a product they have so much experience with: fantasy.