Cancel your plane reservation

  "Remember I could go to the bathroom any time I wanted."

   When's the last time you were on a train? I don't mean urban transit or commuter trains; I mean one that will take you three or four hundred miles; one where flying is an option. If your answer is, "I can't remember," it's been too long.

     Over the Christmas holidays I went to the east coast to visit relatives: New York, Washington, Williamsburg, Virginia, and New Jersey (careful–I grew up there). Six different beds in nine days. Instead of dealing with six cabs to three airports, instead of three sets of arrive-early-enough-to-stand-in-a-TSA-line in my socks with the big-toe-hole, instead of squeezing into a seat between the Before Picture for the Atkins Diet and one of the Little Rascals, instead of keeping my knees pushed against the back of the seat in front of me, instead of getting a demo bag of pretzels 15 minutes before arrival, I opted for Business Class...on Amtrak.

     Forget it was cheaper, forget it took about the same time door to door, forget no security lines, forget there was a power outlet for my computer, forget I didn't need to keep my seat belt fastened, forget I could use my cell phone on a whim, forget I couldn't fall out of the sky, but remember I could go to the bathroom any time I wanted. This was important because I could also order from a whole menu of snacks, sandwiches and the biggest, best burger I've had in a long time, and wash those down with all the sodas, beers or martinis I wanted.

   It took a while to get used to the train: all the storage space I wanted instead on a small overhead locker that could handle one suitcase for whomever got there first, no waiting for checked luggage, no LOST luggage because it's always with you. I think in the near future these suitcases will be robotic and I'll just whistle a happy tune and my bags will follow me through the terminal.

   Of course, the train is not all roses. There were no pillows and blankies on mine. I missed the homeless loiterers in the airline terminal and there was no chance to join a cult while waiting for my train.
I did miss the in-flight movie and being forced to see something I'd seen twice before instead of watching my DVD loaded with my choices.    

   Amtrak's web site guided me reasonably through four of the six stages of Ticket Purchase but then, almost always, FLASH! A lightning bolt icon appeared and explained that they'd had some system error and would I try again sometime.
On the other hand, Amtrak has the best voice-prompted phone order service I've ever experienced. Jody was my computer agent. I think I'll give her a call whenever I just feel like talking to someone pleasant and intelligent. That and I think she likes me.  

   I worked on my computer until the moment the train stopped. I did not pull my seat back into its upright position and I kept my tray table down.