Kronborg Castle - Hamlet Slept Here

Sit down awhile;
And let us once again assail your ears,
That are so fortified against our story
What we have two nights seen.

By all accounts, Shakespeare never stepped foot anywhere near Danish soil, and yet in his play he describes the place perfectly. Many folks think he sat for hours and hours listening to countless sailors talk about this magnificent castle. So much so that he was able to visualize every last inch.

Kronborg Slott* is listed as being in Elsinore due to Hamlet, but locals know the town better as Helsingör, sister city to Sweden's Helsingborg which sits just 2.5 miles away across the Oresund. Helsingborg boasts Soffia Slott, which can be seen from the windows of Kronborg, and vice versa. It is quite a view from either castle, but not real comforting back when both of these castles were built. You see, Denmark and Sweden were at war at the time and the castles were constructed at key military points so each was under siege from the other. Since then the two countries have become rather neighbourly and even have mingled royal bloodlines.

We took the Scandlines Ferry from Helsingborg to Helsingör for 50sek round trip and were deposited very close to Kronborg. After crossing the still-filled double moat complete with swans, we entered the enormous courtyard. I had to close my eyes for a few moments and could easily visualize the hubbub of merchant tents hawking their wares to passers-by under the protection of this impressive structure. There is a nice fountain in the center where tourists today pose for pictures.

After paying our entry fee (80dkk... roughly 13 bucks) inside the north end of the building, we walked through the gift shop and up the stairs into the Royal Suites. I have to tell you right here and now that this is not for the handicapped. This is a castle. It was built well before folks started whining about accessibility. These stairwells are steep, tight, and spiralled. They are a chore for healthy folks to climb. I have RA/Lupus and all of this climbing put me in bed for over 24 hours sucking down pain meds and cuddling the heating pad. It was worth it.

So anyway, the Royal Suites are of course where the King and Queen stayed. It is a series of rooms including their bedchambers, meeting rooms, private dining areas, reception areas, etc. The ceilings are outrageously high and painted with the most wonderful scenes of debauchery ever. On the walls are tapestries. The original tapestries commissioned by Frederik II around 1580 in answer to Sweden's King Erik XIV. They were at war, remember? So when Freddie heard that ol' Erik was having a bunch of tapestries special made depicting 143 kings of Sweden, Freddie had to follow suit. Turns out Fred was a bit more successful in his endeavor and ended up with 113 Danish kings, as compared to the 4 that Erik actually ended up with. DOH! There are only 14 of the original tapestries still hanging here today, but umm that's partly Sweden's fault. Hey. They won the battle. They took their spoils, as was the fad of the age, aiiight? They took the tapestries, furnishings, and paintings.

After becoming friends again, Sweden returned these 14 tapestries and several paintings. Huge paintings. Those things just dwarf Lars and he's 6'6". I tried to get him to reclaim one in particular (with lots of scantily clad men in it) in the name of Sweden, but he vetoed that idea. The chicken. Oh well, it probably wouldn't have fit in our house anyway.

The furnishings, though not original, do have the feel of the age... ok see the castle was first built in 1420, but then kinda remodelled and made a whole lot bigger later... so everything has been done up to try to reconstruct the looks of a 17th century Renaissance castle, like Kronborg in its heyday. Lots of items are authentic to the period if not to the castle itself, but some items are reproductions. Still, it is very cool and I defy you to tell which is which upon short glance. They did a remarkable job.

At the beginning of these Royal Suites are two rooms that are dedicated to Hamlet, with like 10 ft tall posters explaining the story, and two sets of costuming from the play itself that is staged in the center open courtyard a few times per year.

At the foot of the Royal Suites is the gigantic ballroom and the minute we entered this area I had the worst urge to try a waltz or something equally silly. There are marvelous cloths draped from the ceiling, and a really, really big fireplace which doubled as a secret entry from the Queen's bedchambers. Pretty slick, that. In the center of the ballroom is an actual gown worn by one of the Queens of the age, and boy is it tiny! That explains why the doorways were so short. Lars had to duck to get through them.

A word on those fireplaces though... There is one in just about every room and I cannot express enough just how freakin' big these things are. I mean, you cook a whole family in one! Not that I would, mind you... but if I waaaanted too, I wouldn't even have to do any bending to do so. heh.

After coming back out to the center courtyard, we then went into the wonderfully preserved chapel. You do not have to be of a religious bent to admire the sheer beauty of this place. The hand-carved woodwork is just unbelievable... and it's nekkid. That is correct. For all you religious types who got all squeally over Janet Jackson's boob, it is a good thing you don't come to church here because there are carved boobs and penises everywhere, including the end of every pew. heh.

 Next, we re-entered the gift shop entry and went baaaaack up those stairs and then to the left instead of the right to enter the Maritime Museum. This is the part Lars liked the best. I was like ehh. There is a lot to see here as it tells the story of shipping and trade from the beginning of the castle's days to present day. There are a lot of hand carved ship replicas and informational posters and what have you. Whatever. The main castle was by far the best part of the whole thing if you ask me.

Back down to the cellars next! Oooooh. Ahhhhh. Another word of warning is in order here. It is very, very dark down here in the underbelly of the castle. There are candles placed periodically, but there are still lots of areas where you simply cannot even see your own feet. Tread carefully, and do watch your head. The ceilings are very low down here where the castle workers stayed with their mules and what-have-you. This is also where a few bowmen took up watch. Aaaaand... here is where you will find the massive stone carving of Hans Christian Andersen's Holger the Dane. VERY cool, that. I had to buy a little paperback of this tale (20skk) after seeing this carving.

So. TWO hours of touring later, we arrive back at the gift shop. They have lots of great stuff here, like the book I just told you I bought. It was available in a number of languages, by the way. they have postcards galore, ball caps, sweatshirts & T-shirts, little gnomes dressed as Vikings, castle miniatures, carved ships... well, they just have a bunch of stuff. I was very pleased with this tourist trap aspect.

I was just tickled pink over this magnificent castle and am therefore going with 5 stars. While I haven't the energy to go over it all with you here, do take the additional time to tour the outer grounds surrounding the castle where cannons still stand ever vigilant, and tourists can sit and picnic while overlooking the water and Helsingborg across the way. Kronborg Castle is just a wonderful way to while away a nice Spring Day... and it's cheap.

*Slott is the word for Castle in both Swedish and Danish.