FIREHOUSE NICKNAMES

The Fire House: A Very Unique Setting

As many of you know, I had the privilege of working as a professional fire fighter for 15 years. During that period and since, I have always thought, if I would have simply written down most of what I witnessed between the walls of a fire house or away from the house with my crew, choose the best parts, and edited it someway, I could definitely write a "laugh-a-minute" compendium of talles.

If there are other settings which can match a fire house in the intermingling of irreverant humor, unexpected antics, and vascillation between tension and trust that is sometimes palpable I have never experienced that place. I cannot rule out that such a place exists, but the chemistry seems very tough to replicate..

The "Moments" That Last Forever

With the sheer number of conversations, quarrels, and cursings occurring each and every day, seven days a week, three hundred sixty-five days a year in each and every firehouse in a city, the law of averages demands that at least a couple of times a day something will be said that silences everyone because it is so totally profound, but more often than not, because it is profoundly off the wall, thus side-splitting, tears-in-the-eyes-funny. Grabbing these occurrences and multiplying them across the weeks and months, one ends up with quite a few unforgettable scenes, sayings, and stories, etched in their brain.

These particular moments are so powerful they can actually change a persons name for the rest of their life. No, I am not talking about officially changing of a given name. I am bearing witness that it is during these moments, when something occurs either in action, in deed, or both, that produces a nickname that adheres to an individual with a glue that can never be washed away. There is no way to predict which of these moments will be one of such holding power, as many produce a short-term monicker which eventually fades away.....sort of like Braxton-Hicks contractions . Yet there are those times when its the "real thing" and baby has a new name.

The Fire Department Nickname Rules

Any attempt to put the nickname phenomena into any type of logical theory is useless. However, when it comes to nicknames in the fire service, you can be sure of a few things.

Rule One

NOTHING IS SACRED. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

As cold-blooded and cruel as it may seem, nothing is off limits for irreverant conversation, comments, or cut-downs in a fire-house. With a culture of "gallows humor" already entrenched, any topic or issue, no matter how intensely personal or private, nothing is out-of-bounds. Does that mean that people get offended? All the time. It may have taken a guy years to get used to being called "Sleepy" after he was daignosed with Narcolepsy. No one waited to see what long-term effects might occur before "Spot," the guy the chronic skin probem, was dubbed with his new handle.

Does that mean things are done in poor taste and are ill-timed? Yes, it does. I doubt anyone asked "Fat Boy" if he minded being called "Fat Boy." Nobody thinks twice about screaming for "Dago" when he is two aisles over in the grocery store.

Doesn't it ever boil over, end up in fisticuffs, and possible bodily harm to those involved and to those who attempt to break it up? Occasionally, but that in no way negates any nickname borne of the incident from being used. It simply means everyone has to agree on a story to explain why "Wing Nut" had to go to the emergency room to have a gash in one of his noticeably protruding ears stitched up while on duty. Such developments, in all likelihoood, thickens the glue that makes the name stick that much more.

Rule Two

PRODUCTIVE MOMENTS ARE MEANT TO BE SHARED AND ESCAPE ONE FIREHOUSE INTO EVERY OTHER ONE IN THE CITY AT TWICE THE SPEED OF SOUND.

Simply put, anything of any "humor value" or has the potential to be used to joke, laugh at, pick-on, or can be exploited in any way to continue and expand the moment, will, without exception, be known by the other approximately one hundred fifty fire suppression personell on duty that day, in a matter of seconds. There is no time to plead, cajole, bribe,or stifle the spreading of the moment so just forgetaboutit.

Rule Three

DIRECT KNOWLEDGE OF HOW, WHERE, AND WHY, SOMEONE HAD A NICKNAME GLUED TO THEM IS NEVER EVER A REQUIREMENT FOR USING THE NAME AND PRECLUDES EVEN KNOWING THE INDIVIDUAL'S REAL NAME.

To put this rule in perspective, I worked with several people like "Cookie", "Pirogue," and "Snipe," where all memory of how they were tagged with their "name" is totally lost to mankind. In most cases, regardless of the situation, the individual is formally introduced with their nickname. In more than one case, I have had co-workers, that I worked with for several years before I knew their "real" names. In one case, I worked with "Jack" for several years before I found out his name was not "Jack" or "John" or anthing remotely starting with a "J," ending with a "K," and having "ac" in the middle.

Given this cache of nicknames, from time to time, I may just pull one or two out and ramble on about them and share the "moment" it was born............if I even know the facts of the matter.

Thanks For Reading!