So my question is, if we are, indeed, knockoffs of the divine design, why are we are put together so poorly? If any mechanical engineer had built a prototype of the human body, it would have been laughed off the drawing board, and he would have been fired on the spot. Esophagus and trachea side by side? Great idea! Inhale instead of swallow and you choke to death. The fetal exit in the narrowest, boniest part of the female body instead of that nice big space behind the belly button? Excellent! Let the bitch go through hell to push a huge-headed alien through a tiny canal. God doesn't care...he's a guy! (Of course, he also got so pissed off at Eve for that apple incident he yelled, "in pain you shall bring forth children." Does anyone know how many hours of labor Mary endured to give the old grouch a kid?)
And that's just the start of it. If we are to believe the creationists, we don't have sinus problems and backaches because we were originally four-legged animals, with our spines and noses horizontal to the ground. We have these ailments because we are built by god's intelligent design. We don't have to endure knee and hip replacements because those joints were never made to support an upright position. That's the way he meant them to be. We haven't lost our furry insulation through the evolutionary process and been forced to invent imitation coverings. It was god's idea to leave our skin unprotected from the elements. I could go on an on, but anyone with half a brain can examine his own body and recognize the glaring errors in the blueprint.
All of which leads me to wonder: if, as the creationists would have it, god and man are mirror images, is the creator spending eternity suffering from bunions and migraines, just because he went to the Pisa School of Engineering? And what about his sex life? He can't be getting much, since he only seems to be attracted to married virgins. Come to think of it, maybe that's why he's stomping around, wreaking so much havoc upon our poor little planet. God needs to get laid! How's that for a revelation?
I'm going for a walk. My tailbone is beginning to ache.


Comments: 53
He created us to fall apart so I could go to work and have a paycheck. He doesn't care about your pain and suffering. He only wants me to be able to eat and buy shoes.
Bong hits for Gather, perhaps?
He's trying to put together an animation and make some point about numbers, I think.
(It's a young guy, Dame Ruth, and he has a lovely Scottish accent too.)
I want pictures, damn it.
So, how perfect or appropriate is our body to the mission? I have no idea, but I'm inclined to believe it is closer to perfection (in other words, it works pretty well for its purpose) than to rubbish.
I'm not trying to take anything away from Ruth's essay. It's fun, funny, and masterful. It led me to a train of thought and I wrote these thoughts down for what they’re worth. That's all, no big deal.
Anyhow, thanks for stopping by...it's nice to meet you.
and how come this model (me) is defective? is there a store i can be returned to and be replaced by a newer shinier model?
This is from the book I'm currently editing:
He didn't seem to care about the ceramic duck I thoughtfully included as a souvenir and this hurt my feelings. I handed him the shotgun shell. He looked at the dimple caused by the firing pin.
"Put that in your shotgun and try again if you ever get to that point. Maybe the result will be different," I said.
"You're a sick f***."
I'd had my fill of self-pity. "Suicide is the coward's way out, you piece of s***. If you gotta go, there are plenty of noble ways to do it. Pick out some evil and take it to hell with you. There are plenty of crooks, politicians, despots, morons and other a**holes to pick from. Go out with both barrels blazing, with your hands around the neck of some scum and a bloody trail of mayhem in your wake."
Perhaps I imagined it, but I may have penetrated his shell. Anyway, he was angry, which is a far healthier emotion than despair.
"I regret the day you crossed my path, you perfidious prick."
Perfidious was a good one. With that one word I felt like Dwayne would be okay.
- Ken Coffman, Steel Waters
Explain yourself, sir.
I prefer not to rely on leaps of faith. I'd rather have a solid and logical reason for doing good instead of evil.
So, tell me, Ruth, when you get up in the morning, why do you do good works instead of morally neutral works (i.e. both good and bad, since it doesn't matter what you do?).
I'm not trying to harass you or be critical, I'm genuinely interested. I know why I practice random acts of kindness and try to be the best person I can. It's because I think it matters for some unknowable reason. If there is another, better reason, I'd love to know about it.
By the way, where's my Buddhist satire? (I'll give you a hint: We liked it when The Taliban blew up our statues in Afghanistan. Really. It's all about emptiness.)
Ken first: "Why not choose evil if nothing matters?" I must ask, why not choose good if nothing matters? As to why I do good works rather than neutral ones, 1) who says I do? and 2) If I do, it's because it's easier and takes less energy to do good than evil. I don't kill myself or anyone else because I have no reason to...there have been no causes in my life to lead to that effect (determinism, see?), just as there may have been causes that lead to negative effects in another's actions. Whether or not there is a 'higher purpose' to life does not enter into an individual's behavior; we all merely react to causation, over which we have no control and therefore do whatever we must, according to everything that has led to the moment of action.
Your turn.
Ann: I'm working on it. Your hint is most helpful. In fact, you could probably write your own satire...why not give it a whirl?
Beaker again: It's The Force.
Grems: Exactly.
(And I'm glad this got resurrected -- I missed it the first time.)
I'm dreaming of a novel where we cross over with our evolutional replacement, a species I call Homo Assholeous. Smarter than Homo Sapiens, but without a moral code, they do what they want. We've all seen examples. Why wouldn't they have an evolutionary advantage?
If I write my own satire, how can I show that I am tolerant of religious mockery from others?
This article got me thinking about a Buddhist satire. Since the Taliban blew up the Buddha statues, the road has been renamed "Buddha Road" and is more popular than ever among pilgrims. Now that's wierd religion!
I like that one, Ken.
You're walking down your sidewalk. No one is around. The neighbor's puppy is in your way. To be on your merry way, you have a choice, quickly and efficiently kick the puppy out of the way or bend over, pick up the ticklish wiggler and set it aside.
Why are you kind to the puppy?
We know there are people who would drop-kick that puppy and enjoy doing it.
How about another essay to dig deep? You've walked the earth longer than me and I want to get your perspective.
It seems I would do better publishing an article to do this justice.
I'm going to write a book about this when I get around to it. In my book, we'll find that larger forces are in play. And, when you're done reading it, you'll feel a sense of wonder and you won't be depressed. Unless I screw it up. Ha!
As far as fate goes, I tend to think of three fundamentally different approaches that result in three fundamentally different results.
1). Logical thinking leads to determinism.
2). Scientific thinking leads to a Probabilistic Universe.
3). Faith leads to free will.
Certainly you can mix and match as you please. While I do see them as being mutually exclusive, beings as none of us really "know" anything about the Universe, it doesn't really matter what opinions we form...hence the appeal of the speghetti monster. And I could write a great deal more about this subject, but I feel like this discussion has been derailed enough as it is. ;)
As far as whether or not we would kick the dog or not, I tend to feel like our actions are more formed by a selfish avoidance of guilt and/or warm fuzzy feelings inside rather than any noble gesture. If we kick a dog, we would expect to hear it yelp in pain and possibly see it limp away from us whining with it's tail between it's leg. For most of us, that would be a negative consequence we would prefer to avoid.
If you disagree with this, then I would ask you to compare the number of people who would avoid kicking the dog to those who enjoy a nice juicy hamburger on a regular basis. The Cow is going to have gone through a much worse experience than the dog getting kicked, but we're okay with it because we don't have to witness the consequences. We don't have to watch the cow get pumped full of hormones so it'll prematurely grow, getting their horns cut off, branded, castrated (all without painkillers), getting a metal rod shoved in it's brain, having it's throat sliced as it's hung upside down....
Wouldn't you guess that a significant number of burger eaters, if forced to perform this process, would not be too eager to eat a burger immediately after the process is completed?
But as long as we don't have to partake, then that burger is a delicious guilt free luxury.
It is fortunate that humanity, largely, has this built in "evil detector", because if we were really out there all on our own making decisions based on our sense of thoughtful morality, I believe the world would be a far worse place.
Can you expand on your views? In what context do you look at a lack of free will that does not result in a depressing attitude?
If you accept a deterministic philosophy, then how can you ever describe your actions as being your own?
Additionally, how can anything in regards to the Universe ever be changed?
By my eyes, accepting a deterministic universe is giving up all credit and responsibility for your life. We are all characters in a novel that has already been published. We don't have the ability to change anything because we, as individuals, do not exist. Everything we have ever been and everything we will ever become is an extension of the Author of the Universe, assuming one exists, in the same way that Frodo Baggins is an extension of J.R.R. Tolkein.
Frodo Baggins cannot change his actions, nor can he take any credit, nor has he ever truly existed as a unique individual.
I agree wholeheartedly. Who we are is a product of the beliefs of those who raised us in addition to the beliefs of those who raised them ad infinatum. We are also influenced by the culture around us and all of those who created the culture again all the way back to when culture became known. We are influenced by what we eat, what we wear, what we listen to and what we do with our time. As you noted to Ken, we have the opportunity to experience so much and create experiences for others. I may believe in God, but I do believe God created us with the ability to make choices and act on those choices, not to live in a box that limits our lives. I do have the choice and the opportunity to do what I consider best for those I live and work around as well as myself. I also think it is not my right to tell others what they must do/believe. They too have the right/opportunity to follow their own path.