The Hills Have Eyes 2: A Review
I am the smartest man alive!
Well, maybe that’s not exactly true. I barely got into a state college. But after seeing The Hills Have Eyes 2, I feel like MENSA will be calling me any day.
It’s not just that the film is predictable. You can’t go into a film of this nature and not expect a certain level of predictability. Deep down you know what’s going to happen. But in this case, director Martin Weisz has chosen to put together a shot list that telegraphs the action that’s about to occur. Sure, this happens from time to time in horror films, but every time? There’s just not a single surprise, and knowing someone’s going to die three shots before their head splits, popping like a can of tomato soup, really takes all the fun out of it.
More often than not, audiences just enjoy the impending scares and gore regardless of predictability, and this movie has its fair share – of gore that is. Much gorier than its 2006 predecessor, The Hills Have Eyes 2 is the story of a squad of new National Guard recruits who are attempting to delivers supplies to a scientific outpost, deep in the classified “Sector 16.” The army has begun installing heat sensors to monitor activity in this region, and it’s the job of these National Guard recruits to aid them.
Big surprise, when the recruits get there, all the scientists are missing. It seems as everyone’s favorite cannibalistic, radioactive, incest-riddled mutants have beaten the troops there. A faint call, indecipherable through heavy static, comes through one of the missing scientist’s radio, and the mission becomes a search and rescue, as the team believes one scientist to be alive.
The next hour and a half of screen time is filled with fantastically gory deaths as the recruits fall into stupid trap after stupid trap. Weisz decides to go with a close up of a hand. “That hand is about to get axed,” Joe Moviegoer thinks to himself. Then that hand gets cut off. Lather, rinse and repeat.
Let’s throw continuity out the window just for fun while we’re at it. Don’t worry about missing helmets, or chin straps buckled or unbuckled. No one will notice that because this is such a scary movie. Wrong. Sarcasm aside, its irritating when movies of this stature don’t even take the time to take themselves or the trade of filmmaking seriously.
I love films like this. I’m a horror guy. I was extremely disturbed by a rape scene as one of the mutants tries to “breed”. But beyond that, gore for the sake of gore aside, this film wasn’t scary. I blame director Martin Weisz. If you want to see people die gruesome, horrible deaths, then check this film out. But even slasher fans should stay away (check out Craven’s original 1977 version --http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077681/) as its no fun to know who dies when. But then again, maybe you’ve had a bad day. Maybe your boss called you stupid. In that case, check this film out. By the time its over, you too will have realized, that you are the smartest person alive.
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Josh Gloer, Movie Correspondent
You can find Josh's column One Harsh Critic, published every Sunday night at http://oneharshcritic.gather.com.
You can keep up with Josh's postings and his Gather activity by joining his Gather network. Just click here: http://filmmaker1997.gather.com, and then select the orange "connect" button on the left hand side of the page.
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Comments: 60
Easiest way to stop the weido stuff is to fill in your title and upload your pictures first, make sure you have your article just like you want it before you pase it, and don't edit it.
I always wonder why horror films are so offensive to people's intelligence. Don't screenwriters realize we want a real plot, not just brains and gore?
A couple of things to keep in perspective though: TMNT was #1 in the box office with a pitiful $25M, and the majority of that is first-week hype from retro fans and children with nothing else to do over the weekend. A lot of films sell because people are bored, and ones that reach a family audience (especially in a week with "300" and "Shooter") are bound to do well on slow days. The problem with this is a lack of discerning in the studios, who long ago figured out that the quality of their movies didn't matter as much as the marketing and the timing.
That all said, Josh, thanks for the concise, interesting, in-depth review I enjoy reading, even if I have NO intention of seeing this movie. The fact that you enjoy film and love thinking about it seriously and sharing those thoughts with us is enough to make me glad you and I are connected. I feel exactly the same way. ;-) Keep up the enjoyable, informative reviews!
You always get a 10 from me... Movie Lovers Unite!
I always wonder why horror films are so offensive to people's intelligence. "
FYI -- Using the phrase "retarded" is also offensive to people's intelligence.
Thanks for all the kind words. I DO try to keep my reviews on a personal level. While I'm part of the Hollywood system, I hate the pretensions that are often associated with critics. I just call 'em like I see 'em.
Aaron started this thought, but another thing to remember -- Its EXTREMELY difficult to get a film made. So in this case, you have to also remember that Wes Craven was the pen and director behind it. He's a horror icon, and basically can do no wrong as he has a built in audience (studios see in numbers).
If you like horror, blood and guts... See this film. See if my review was on target.
Thanks all for your continued support.
If I want to be scared, I go straight to the classics.... The Shining and Silence of the Lambs. Actually, most of the scariest film moments I ever experienced aren't actually IN horror films at all! Davey's death scene in Mary, Queen of Scots for example. I still can't sit through that!
Josh, I would love if you did a review of "Reign Over Me". I recently saw it over the weekend and LOVED it! I was thinking about writing a review myself but I am just not very good at it. What do you think?
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haveittodayray
First - font - if you're using Word are you hitting the little gizmo that lets you paste from Word on the post blank. It doesn't seem to make any difference for me but maybe for you. .
As for the movie - I would never watch anything that gruesome but from an industry standpoint I can see why these movies are made - they sell. They're cheap to make and they're box office gold. So for all the people who protest, many many more are coughing up box office bucks.
I did hear the TV Guide reviewer talking about how it has this political message underneath about the unprepared soldiers we're sending to Iraq - gotta give the filmmaker props for at least attempting to put a message in the movie and not just make it a meaningless splatter fest.
Thanks for reading!
Darcey D.
Just wondering what you thought of the rape scene in the first remake. I was remarkably offended and disgusted, which I usually don't have the energy to be. But then again, the DVD extras revealed a couple of skeazy looking french dudes babbling on about how the original was so great (which it is, especially comparatively)...... apparently soooooo great that it had to be remade with some ridiculously unneccesary mom-mammary-molestation.
Thanks for reading.
Good review though.
Your review was hilarious! Thanks! Despite your scathing review though, I still want to watch it! Just so I can see what you mean. Sometimes I enjoy bad films as much as I enjoy good films. Keep them coming mate!
I love horror films, bad horror films are even better!