three funnies for you this evening...
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Breakfast Order:
A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning.
"I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so over cooked, it's tough and hard to eat. Also, grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze, so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm."
"That's a complicated order, sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult."
The guest replied,"Oh, but that's what you gave me yesterday!"
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Baby Care:
My husband is always complaining about my inability to stay
on a budget and about the costs of running the household in
general. This has become worse since we had twins.
Everything is double -- clothes, food, pediatrician bills.
Lately, he has even been complaining about the amount of
baby powder I have been using on the twins to prevent them
from getting diaper rashes. I've had to remind him that ...
talc is cheap.
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Biggest Lie:
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The
teacher asked, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answered, "We found a ten-dollar bill and decided to
give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher.
"When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
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