Before I am accused of plagiarism, I want to explain that I did receive SOME of these in an email. However, I added my own definitions starting with the ones not in italics. Since I don't remember when I received this email or who sent it to me I cannot give proper acknowledgment. I feel sure, however, this is NOT copy written work, unless Jeff Foxworthy wants to claim ownership. In that case, Jeff, I thank you for allowing me to publish this article. I think I have added more signs than the original so how about splittin' the moola!
You know you're a Redneck when:
Your favorite poem is from a restroom wall.
Your phone is mobile but your car isn't.
The only time you moved was under the witness protection program.
You always have grits for breakfast.
You have a bug light inside your house.
Your dream home is stuck in traffic.
You've ever turned in a family member for the reward.
Your monthly budget includes bail.
Your tools are worth more than your car.
You've ever given a stolen road sign as a graduation present.
You honk your horn during love scenes at the drive-in.
When you refer to your "laptop," you're talking about the dance you paid for last weekend.
You use an old beat up hubcap as a dog dish.
You carry a big metal ring filled with keys and attached to a belt loop in your blue jeans.
You use a pocket knife to cut your fingernails and toenails.
You have a big pair of fuzzy dice hanging from your rear view mirror.
You are married to your hair dresser.
You think the word sex is a number.
You marry your cousin and discover she is your half-sister.
You know the difference between a hound dog and a coon dog.
Your alarm clock is a rooster.
You have an open bottle of moonshine hid in your closet.
You only eat soup that has a ham bone in it.
You dress up for church by wearing a long sleeved blue shirt and a pair of overalls. (Sometimes referred to as Overhauls.)
You know the difference between overalls and coveralls.
Your favorite T-Shirt has the Bud logo on the front and a Harley sign on the back.
You love fried bologna.
You not only know what red-eye gravy is, you also know how to make it.
Your best friend's name is Bubba.
Feel free to add your own signs. I promise not to plagarize them. (Then, again, if they are really good...hmmmm.)