by Clay Nichols
Member since:
January 12, 2007

Parenting Lows: Poop in the Tub

March 20, 2007 10:34 PM EDT
views: 77 | rating: 10/10 (8 votes) | comments: 22

fileId:3096224744063596;size:inter; Okay, I said it.  There it is.  My nomination for the absolute worst parenting moment outside of illness or injury.

Poop in the tub. 

Maybe nobody else is talking about it, because they have some weird hangup like good taste, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.  It happens.  A lot.  If my rigorous statistical analysis of a carefully selected group of three children has any validity, then the average toddler aged 14 to 18 months poops in the tub twice a week.

So what's the procedure here?  The kid needs to be cleaned off, but the tub is full of filth. And how do you remove the offending material?  Squish it down the drain?  Ew.  Chase it around the tub with a dixie cup half the night?  You just push it around like one of those invisible dogs on a leash that you get at the fair. 

And poop in the tub is part of a global conspiracy.  When I told to people who had kids that my wife and I were thinking about having a baby, they made no mention this.  Not one had the decency.  That is why I am breaking the code of silence.

If you are thinking about having kids, listen up.  Vomit is like heaven compared to poop in the tub.

If you just can't get enough of this subject, check out the latest video on tub tips on DadLabs.com -- don't miss the unique "experiment" at the end of the clip.

I have no idea where you people will take this, but it should be interesting.
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Comments: 22

Jenny D. Mar 20, 2007, 10:40pm EDT
LoL
Jennifer P. Mar 20, 2007, 11:05pm EDT
I have a funny story about poop in the tub.... I was giving my nephew a bath at my mother's when he was about 2 1/2 (he is now almost 14). I had to go into the kitchen to get a cup to rinse him off with (the kitchen was only 1 room away) and had asked my brother to keep an eye on our nephew. I had barely made it to the kitchen when I heard this bloodcurdling scream coming from the bathroom. I ran to the bathroom before my brother even had time to get off the floor. I'm thinking, what happened? There were no strange noises. I didn't hear a thud? I get to the tub and can't find him but I can still hear the piercing scream. He had gone as far back in the tub as he could and was behind the shower curtain. He looked okay and I still couldn't figure out why he was screaming so much. Turns out he pooped in the tub and scared the crap out of himself. I immediately started laughing and scooped him out of the tub in a towel. It makes me laugh every time I think about it.
Shawnee G. Mar 21, 2007, 12:31am EDT
I have 4 children who range from 9 to 5 months. I have not had the pleasure of dealing with this, yet... Are my children misfits to not be fitting in with other kids? Most likely not, I am sort of "all business" when it comes to bath time. Kiddy pools are for playing, baths are for cleaning. This started because my firstborn was always cold, until she was 4 or 5 she could not stand to be in the water for that long after her upper body got wet. I would heat the house to 90 degrees and she would still get chills and shivers. So it was in, wash, rinse, out for her. I follow the same rule with my others. We have times that my 2 and 4 year old play in the tub now, but they are well potty trained and usually use the toilet before entering the tub :)
Shawnee G. Mar 21, 2007, 12:32am EDT
Now I bet I just jinxed myself for my 5 month old to break the rules and poo in the tub every bath to make up for the others not doing it or something...... Sigh.
Clay Nichols Mar 21, 2007, 12:44am EDT
Jennifer -- Hilarious. It's not so much that he got the crap scared out of him, but that the crap out of him scared him.

Shawnee -- You're missing out. Uh. Not really.
Hate to say it but....been there done that.
Deb J. Mar 21, 2007, 6:47am EDT
That was a good one on the "crap" huh, Clay? I remember one time on a trip my son pooped his pants and it was so gross, that I tossed them in the next trash can I could find. Kids, you gotta' love 'em!
Melanie S. Mar 21, 2007, 8:18am EDT
ROFL!!! LUCKILY, I have never had this experience. I have 5 children ranging from 10 1/2 years to 5 months. I'm guessing like another parent that comment, I'm probably cursing myself for my 5 month old to give me this lovely experience hhahaha
Crystal R. Mar 21, 2007, 10:36am EDT
Yep.... been there, done that!
Clay Nichols Mar 21, 2007, 11:48am EDT
What's with you people with kids that never pooped in the tub! Freaks! I'm looking for some support here. Sheesh.
Jenna S. Mar 21, 2007, 12:00pm EDT
I'm hoping I don't have that happen. Though at least I now know to be extra prepared. My little girl so far makes a certain face right before she does it. So, maybe I'll get lucky.A very interesting article.
Anne Marie A. Mar 21, 2007, 3:17pm EDT
been there done that. I didn't mind that as much as I did the time my son did his artwork on the wall in his own poop. I told my husband we were moving because there just wasn't enough bleach to wipe away my disgust or the mess.
Melissa R. Mar 21, 2007, 6:19pm EDT
Love it as always Clay! Did you know you are linked at Strollerderby?
http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/archive/2007/03/21/poop-in-the-tub-no-problem-says-dadlabs.aspx?CommentPosted=true#commentmessage

You guys are brilliant!! When I have more kids, my hubby is going to get SCHOOLED from DadLabs!
Heather Montanaro Mar 21, 2007, 9:09pm EDT
Been ther - wish I hadn't. We keep the tub cooler since that happened and it went away. We have a 1 and 2 year old. I must confess, my husband does most of the tubbies - I have back trouble. But when I've been called in for scoop and shower cleanig duty (only a handful of times, thank goodness), I'm giggling most of the way. If it happened as much as Clay though, I think I'd stick to sponge baths.
Shannon C. Mar 21, 2007, 9:34pm EDT
I don't know -- I've dealt with both vomit and poop in the tub pretty often lately, and I think the vomit is worse. At least the poop is contained in one place; with a two year old, the vomit winds up everywhere!
Clay Nichols Mar 21, 2007, 11:13pm EDT
Okay, now this is getting good. We've got the making poop face, poop art (Wharhol call your office), the cold tub poop cure, and then vomit. I do love parenting. Laughing makes the poop smell better (but does nothing for vomit, unfortunately).

Yes, Melissa, saw the Jason's post over on Babble.com's Strollerderby blog fest. He is one cool dude, and I have long been a fan of dadcentric.com. Also, thanks for checking out the videos over at dadlabs.com.
capeach -. Mar 22, 2007, 1:35am EDT
Ugh- we have had this problem with our DD. I think she gets so relaxed having fun in the tub that her body decides it's time to go. We've tried moving the bath time, etc. but it hasn't seemed to help. I have noticed that it seems to occur more frequently in a given time period and then nothing for forever. I start thinking, oh good she's outgrown this and I can relax and then... poop.
Selene N. Mar 23, 2007, 12:09am EDT
LOL!! I will have to watch out for that!
Clay Nichols Mar 23, 2007, 1:16pm EDT
Capeach -- When you relax, so does she. Parenting is not or woosies.
elizabeth e. Mar 24, 2007, 5:25pm EDT
What do you feed your kids? I had three and gratefully can say that experience passed me by!
Kathy and her Buckethead H. Mar 26, 2007, 12:01am EDT
I just had this experience once. We were staying in a time-share condo with my parents. We decided to let our son play in the "pool" (the jacuzzi tub). He is stading and playing- next thing I know he is squating and out it comes!
jane K. Jul 30, 2007, 10:41am EDT
I used to have this specially marked slotted spoon . . .

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