Ten First Lines

(Digging through my old notebooks again. This one is from around 2004, a writing assignment to write ten first lines, 'hooks' for stories. The only one that ever actually became a story was number 4, which turned into a piece called Foster Finds Faith. Feel free to use one if you've a mind to!)

1. In retrospect, I should have known Bobella was a transvestite even before she won that backyard pissing contest.

2. There's just no good way to hide the body of your ex-lover on such short notice, particularly when it's your grandmother at the door.

3. I stood on the edge of the cliff, one foot suspended over the precipice, praying that cartoon world physics were all they were reported to be.

4. Urine and stagnant vomit aren't the best smells to announce one's pressence, but it had been a damn bad week and Foster hardly had time to change his clothes.

5. Fame! Fortune! Chicks! Everything Marvin ever wanted could be his for the small price of his immortal soul.

6. Ink stained the parchment of the old man's will, making the final clause impossible to read.

7. "I'll never speak to you again for what you've done to me," Miranda shouted through the closed door to Charlie's room.

8. Harold Parker came to realize that not only was he Broke, he was also a British Bastard, with a capital B in all three circumstances.

9. Smoke rose in billowing clouds, the last remains of her former life drifting over the ruins of Hallwell Manor.

10. 'Perfect plans' are often known for their fatal flaws, and this one was no exception.