Khamoshi (silence)

My gatherite friend Rajender Singh wrote this

beautiful nazm (seems like impromptu effort to me) as a comment on a previous post by me:

yu to koi aata nahi is wiran chaman me,
ye kisaki parchahi he kuch meri hi tarah,
kise dhoondhta he duniya a dasht me tanha raj,
koi sathi ho tera bhi khamoshi ki tarah.

This I had to transcreate immediately on reading it as:

Well, no one visits the deserted garden
whose shadow is somewhat like me
who do you keep searching for in a sandy world, Raj,
perhaps a companion like silence enveloping you...

(c) Max Babi

Comments are most welcome.

Comments: 9

Sherry Asbury Mar 15, 2007, 8:56am EDT

Both versions are just lovely. You must speak the language to translate so nicely.
Pretty way to start my day.

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John Doyle Mar 15, 2007, 9:03am EDT

Lovely as always Max. Never stop

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Connie C. Mar 15, 2007, 10:25am EDT

The first version looks so cool. I wish I could pronouce the words properly

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David D. Gilbaugh Mar 15, 2007, 11:37am EDT

I think "no one" is "some one" here, and quiet and solitude, perhaps death, but more likely peace is the companion that provides both a sense of identity and respite in an shifting "sandy world". At least this is where my thoughts wander as I, for a moment, on this walk with a quiet friend.

Thank you for this remarkable poem, Max. Your translations are a precious bridge to thoughts I would have never known and been.

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Carol Lloyd Mar 15, 2007, 12:01pm EDT

Lovely

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John F Walter Mar 15, 2007, 12:33pm EDT

Instead of looking in the garden, one searches in the dunes, and the result is to find out perhaps why one is searching in the first place, the companionship turns out to be solitude. A lot going on clearly in both Rajender Singh and your transcreation, Max, that suggests that friendship is a hard thing to find both in the bustling world and the emptiness.

I love the way you choose to take our minds to the most difficult paradoxes--¨nuts¨ to crack, as it were--and leave us there, as if to say in your poetry, " You are going to find yourself here at death anyhow, you might as well face desolation in my words now."

A terribly lucid Sufi approach, using the scattershot method of verse to telegraph home the holes in the heart where we leak flame.

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Stirling D. Mar 15, 2007, 7:14pm EDT

I, too, have found companionship in the spontaneous moment when emptiness exudes its own special perfume, but I love the way that Raj (and you, Max) have shown the compassionate side of that solitary place. Thanks.

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Max Babi Mar 17, 2007, 10:07am EDT

John dear,
Your words inspire me to write a poem.
Uploading soon...
cheerz!

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Laurie White Mar 17, 2007, 12:19pm EDT

I was brought here from your other poem, which I will also comment on. There are time when our best companionship is solitute. Perhaps it helps us realize what we really are searching for since the hustle and bustle does not allow our minds to get to the place it needs to be. Great poem from both you and Raj.

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Khamoshi (silence)

Comments: 9

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