Søren Rask Found Dead in Christiania

Søren Tryggvi Kjetland Rask (23) of Oslo, Norway was found dead Wenesday in the free state Christiania in Copenhagen, Denmark.  The cause of death is undisclosed, but authorities and personal connections suspect suicide.  No indications directly suggest a suicide, but peers and family describe Rask, an upper-level Philosophy student at Copenhagen University, as a brooding and nervous character with a strong depressive bent.

Søren Rask was last seen by Hannelore Zahl, a psychiatrist employed by the university, who had been working with the deceased to help him overcome a debilitating aversion to foods bigger than they should be.  Zahl's files disclose a possible lead to Rask's case, suggesting that he took his own life after seeing a foot-long hot-dog in the mouth of a four-year-old child. 

A medical examination will be conducted in Frederiksberg Hospital on Thursday morning, though coroners remark of Rask's physique that there probably are very few organs to dissect anyway.  

Funerary services, as per request, will be held at the Little Mermaid statue on Langelinie, where Søren Rask's cremated remains (also known as cremains, how catchy) will be scattered to the four winds by an aeroplane over the sea.

Alright, I hope that caught your attention.  I'm not dead.  I'm actually alive, very much awake, and not even slightly hung over.  What I'm really writing to say is that I will take a brief leave of absence from this teeming cybermetropolis in order to host a friend visiting from abroad.  In other words, I will be too preoccupied with touristy things, like the Little Mermaid and the changing of the guard and getting shitfaced and staggering down Strøget singing "Danny Boy" on St. Patrick's Day, to grace your monitors with my enlightened compositions.  

 Assuming my hoax introduction does not foreshadow the near future, I will return by the end of the month.  In an interstellar burst, back to save the universe.