by Timothy V.
Member since:
September 9, 2006

Attention : Gather Divorce Announced

March 09, 2007 12:57 AM EST
views: 82 | rating: 8.4/10 (18 votes) | comments: 33

It was brought to my attention that the reason my articles aren't being read is the fact that I have Sandy Knauer and Travis B as contacts. So in order to increase my readership, I'm sad to say that I have served Sandy with divorce papers.

Sandy and I  have agreed to the following conditions concerning the divorce.

1: Sandy gets half of my computer.

2: Sandy gets half of my Fender Stratocaster.

3: Sandy gets half of my Peavy Amp.

4: Sandy gets half of my job. ( good for me, now I only have to do half of the work that I used to do )

5: Sandy gets half of my guns. ( I have six, this is quite scary )

6 : Sandy gets half of my ammo. ( again, very scary )

7: Sandy gets half of my George Foreman grill.

8: Sandy gets half of my microwave oven.

9: Sandy gets half of my toaster oven.

10 : Sandy gets half of my Moonshine still. ( ouch, that really hurts )

Now that Sandy and I have all of this settled, I'm left with Travis. So just what the heck am I going to do with him ? Since Travis and I were never married, divorce is out of the question. So just what should I do with Travis ??

1: Have Travis commited to 10 years of service at the " Watchtower Headquarters "??

2: Have Travis commited  10 years of service at " Bethel " ??

3: Cut the fuel lines of his motorcycle so he will stay away from me ??

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Comments: 33

Carol Lloyd Mar 9, 2007, 1:04am EST
I like having old travis committed can leave it at that
Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Mar 9, 2007, 1:05am EST
Sounds great since I usually end up giving most of what I have to the guys. Just so I'll know I am being fair, Timothy, I'll give you half of my bills, two of the five oranges in the bin, six of our wedding pictures, and mint flavored dental floss. If you ask nicely, I'll give you the 218 connections that don't comment on anything I write to make up for the points I have cost you.
Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Mar 9, 2007, 1:07am EST
And I'll let you sit beside me at the U of L games.
Timothy V. Mar 9, 2007, 1:08am EST
Carol...That is in the works.

Sandy... That will work if you would just let me keep my still !!! damn it !!
Timothy V. Mar 9, 2007, 1:09am EST
And as long as you don't force me to look at Petinio...please ???
Timothy V. Mar 9, 2007, 1:11am EST
John....Sounds like Travis and your ex-wife were meant for eachother !!
flit . Mar 9, 2007, 1:15am EST
You can't have Travis committed unless he gets to take his computer... his is my most favourite avatar on gather... love the way he's always looking up at the person above LOL
Carol Lloyd Mar 9, 2007, 1:15am EST
travis is ok.
Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Mar 9, 2007, 1:16am EST
If I get Travis in the deal, I'll give you half of that deck of cards under the table.
Timothy V. Mar 9, 2007, 1:28am EST
Sandy...Here's the deal...You get to keep Travis if you let me keep my moonshine still ??

flit..I kind liked Travis's avatar where he was smoking weed !! lol
Timothy V. Mar 9, 2007, 1:37am EST
Carol....Yeah, Travis is is ok, but I've gotta let him go. That guy is costing me points .

I'm in the process of dealing him off to Sandy if she will give me back my Moonshine still.
Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Mar 9, 2007, 1:40am EST
That works, Timothy. I think what Travis has in the pipe might be better than what you have in the still.

And I'll give you both boxes of tissues because I know the tears will hit when you realize what you've done.
Travis B. Mar 9, 2007, 1:40am EST
You both realize I will require extensive therapy after this separation? I hope you have plenty of gift cards...
Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Mar 9, 2007, 1:43am EST
Gather gives gift cards for therapy? That explains a lot.

Travis, did you insult me? You'll have to be more overt if you want me to get it.
Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Mar 9, 2007, 1:47am EST
Does this count as making the society page?
Travis B. Mar 9, 2007, 1:51am EST
Now Sandy...I think you know me better than that! If I wanted to insult you I would be much more blunt than that! BTW is Timothy going to provide monetary support? I need things like beer and smokes and smokey treats and the occassional peanut butter and jelly sammich with milk before bed...Will he pay for this? Will he?!!!
Timothy V. Mar 9, 2007, 1:53am EST
Travis....Stay away from me you bastard !!

Sandy...You get my Fender Stratocaster, my Peavy amp, all of my guns and ammo, my computer and everything I promised you if I get to keep Travis's weed along with my Moonshine still. I must have my cake and eat it too !!

There you go again Travis, you have screwed up everything for me !!
Travis B. Mar 9, 2007, 1:56am EST
Oh and I require red velvet cake every other Thursday..
Timothy V. Mar 9, 2007, 1:59am EST
Sandy and Travis... all I need out of this is some Moonshine and Weed. Both of you have cost me more than enough points already, so at least let me get drunk and high..pleease ??
Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Mar 9, 2007, 2:01am EST
I have a red velvet cake recipe, somewhere around here, and a jar of peanut butter. Amazing how easily these things work out when we don't involve attornies and courts.

Travis, if Timothy doesn't pay up, I'll check into those food stamps Amber insists I'm supposed to be getting.
Timothy V. Mar 9, 2007, 2:01am EST
Travis....You'll have to show up at the Kingdom Hall every Thursday if you want that.
Timothy V. Mar 9, 2007, 2:04am EST
Sandy...I heard that Amber is getting those food stamps too. I also heard that she is like peanut butter, she spreads ....
Travis B. Mar 9, 2007, 2:08am EST
Timothy I can show up at the Hall as long as you have a bail bondsman ready and waiting..
Timothy V. Mar 9, 2007, 2:17am EST
I'll be there Travis, and so will my security guards to escort you to the Watchtower headquarters.
Timothy V. Mar 9, 2007, 2:43am EST
Hey guys...I found Amber and Randy, and yes, they are one and the same.
Jan Dillon Mar 9, 2007, 9:57am EST
Now I am totally confused and have no comment at all. hic, hic.
Timothy V. Mar 9, 2007, 11:18am EST
Oh no, another one flagged !! lol
H. G. Mar 9, 2007, 11:42am EST
Tim...

Flagged? Based on WHAT?!
Leti *. Mar 9, 2007, 12:46pm EST
Just when I was beginning to enjoy the conversation!!?

Timothy, I see another drive-by flagger!!
Don(time to open them FEMA camps) S. Mar 9, 2007, 3:15pm EST
I still love all you guys............
Lisa D. Mar 9, 2007, 6:49pm EST
Um, Tim- don't be giving everything away now or I'll have to reconsider. I may need some of that stuff!
Timothy V. Mar 9, 2007, 11:28pm EST
Hey...The flag has been removed ! This article was flagged last night.
Umm I respond to both to Sandy and used to respond to Travis. I didn't even know Travis was still on. I never see his stuff. I guess I'll blame them for no one responding to my stuff. It can't be my fantabulous writing. (Yes, I made the word up - deal with it.) Which is sad. I'm not connected to Sandy, but I thought I was connected to Travis.

Actually, I've never responded to you because I've never seen anything by you. I hope people aren't doing the social ostracism thing. That's so Myspace.

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